Fucking Lynx

They're done.  That's it.  The supposed dynasty in the WNBA is going to lose Game 4 tomorrow, and that's it.  They'll be upset by the L.A. Sparks, a team they shouldn't have lost to because they got the best record in the league.  But no, they had to choke on a buzzer-beating loss in Game 1 and cough up home-court advantage, which the Sparks still have after beating the shit out of the Jynx last night.

This is why we can't have nice things.  We need a dependable team that is reliably a championship squad.  And no, three titles in the last five years isn't going to cut it.  Not when they were the #1 seed going into the playoffs.  This is an upset, and just like with Indiana, we will be on the short end.

How fucking embarrassing.

Suddenly It Feels Very Cold

So I was having dinner with my folks.  Father was doing his usual bitching about me going back to school or finding a job or setting up a schedule because I sleep too much, even though I have proven I do anything but.  But that wasn't the worst part of dinner.

The worst part of dinner came after My Fucking Father buttered me up with his stupid and accusatory questions.  Mother asked me what I thought about putting the house in my name.  She said that I would then be responsible for the upkeep of the house -- electric bill, water bill, phone, Internet, property taxes and insurance.  She raised this proposal once before, more than a year ago, but she kind of dropped it and didn't bring it back up.  But she did now.  Worse than that, this time she also gave me time to think ... but only a month.

When she raised this the first time, I ran to my shrink, who said that if the calculations are done right, he thought that all those monthly expenses aren't as bad as I thought they were.  But I don't know about that.  When Mother said this my mind took fleeting snapshots of the bills I would have to face, and I tried to conjure up ballpark figures for each.  And then I compare that to the weekly checks I'm getting from the temp agency for this job.  And then I remember all the times I go to the strip clubs, and then I think about the crossroads I would have to face: Either give up being a stripper hound and be unhappy in my boyhood home, or tell my folks I can't afford it and them asking how have I not saved up enough money after working all this time.

If they are really going to put the screws to me on this, I'm really between a rock and a hard place.  If I get found out that I don't have the money to support the upkeep of this house, I definitely will have hell to pay.  But a life where I'm permanently scrounging for money to pay for the house is a life not worth living, frankly.  I might have an out: Go back to school full-time so I can demonstrate that I'm serious about moving forward with my life, but I can't be independent right now, so let's just continue this arrangement where I live with the help of you guys.  That might be my only way out, but goddamn, I can't see myself doing this.

And I have a month to think about it?  Only a month?

The weather has turned colder.  But after dinner it's felt much colder.  From outside and in.

The Weekly Minnesota Sports Survey

Positive Numbers: Gopher volleyball (Last Week: -1).  A very successful screening week for local teams (well, mostly), and that means a quartet of worthy teams for the top spot -- and yet another elevation of the entire list above negative numbers.  I'm getting to be a softie, I know, but I have to give credit where it's due.

I have to give the top spot, and thus Positive #'s, to the Gopher volleyball club, who responded to their defeat at Penn St. the week before with a pair of sweeps.  The one on Sunday, at home against Northwestern, was not a surprise.  The other one was, however, and a big one: At #1 Wisconsin.  In fact, it wasn't just a sweep, it was an ass-kicking -- 20-18-14.  The steady growth in the margin of victory through the sets is a definite sign of both domination by the U. and demoralization (humiliation?) of the Badgers.  That it happened to the top-ranked team in this week's poll makes it even sweeter.  And on the road?  Oh, it had be glorious to shut up a hostile crowd.  There will be a return date at the Pav, for sure, but right now, I can't think of a team that has a better chance of winning the NCAA Tournament than the Gophers.

All I'm worried about now are injuries and an abstract sense they may be "peaking" too early.  What comes next, then, may prove to be a great test for the squad.  That game against the Badgers started a string of four games on the road.  They get it relatively easy this week though -- their only game is a potential trap game Saturday at Michigan St.

#0: Vikings (Last Week: 0).  Incredibly impressive.  If the Vikes, say, beat New England and Tom Brady at Gillette Stadium instead of crushing Houston at Das Bank v. 2.0, I would have put them in a tie with the U. volleyballers.  Nevertheless it was a fantastic performance (at least for the first half) against a Texans club whose quality is extremely hard to read.  Sam Bradford continues to impress, even receiving early recommendation from Peter King of Sports Illustrated as Most Valuable Player in the National Football League.  He has made many of the receiving corps, perceived until now as a pedestrian group, into a scary arsenal, especially Kyle Randolph and, of all people, Adam Thielen, who is One Of Us.

And what about that other Minnesota kid who's on the team, Marcus Sherels?  The Rochester native and Golden Gopher was signed off the street in 2010, and since becoming part of the active roster the next year, all he has been is the quiet Punt Returner who is still capable of popping off a 79-yard Touchdown run that ripped the heart out of the Texans.  I don't think there are too many Vikings fans who realize Sherels has been doing this for six years now, which seems to be a lifetime for punt returning.  And he doesn't call attention to that, or himself.  No, he just puts his head down and does his job, spectacularly and quietly well.  He is the consummate football player, and the consummate Minnesotan.

#-1: Gopher soccer (Last Week: -2).  I feel really bad for sticking the Minnesota footballers down here, in third place.  Don't look now -- don't know how many are looking -- but they have ripped off a three-game winning streak as we're coming down the backstretch of the 2016 women's college soccer season.  They crushed Nebraska at Robbie Sunday, 3-0, and then last (Thursday) night they beat Michigan St. in East Lansing, 2-1, on an 80th-minute tally by Sydney Squires.

Soccer bracketology remains in an embryonic state.  I don't think the conference standings are a help either; after fighting through a mid-pack morass, the U. is, as of press time, tied atop the B1G with, of all teams, Northwestern.  But they've got to be a lock for the NCAA Tournament now, right?  In fact, as their #8 ranking on Hero Sports indicates, they could host an Elite Eight game at Robbie.  In December.  Outside.  Man, that brings up memories!

This week they have only one game, but it is on the road vs. one of the better clubs in the Big Ten, Michigan.  That game is on Sunday.

#-2: Gopher men's hockey (Re-Entry!).  I have a special place in my heart for men's college hockey.  (I like women's college hockey too, but there are only, like, 30 varsity teams, so it's a little too small to embrace as cute, if that makes any sense, and it probably doesn't.)  If you include Arizona St. (and I have heard their transition to Division I is a rocky and underfunded one), there are currently 60 teams in top-flight college hockey.  That, however, may shrink to 58, and the two victims may be Alaska-Anchorage and Alaska-Fairbanks.

Because the state is so dependent on oil, the price of which has been in the tank lately, the state has not been able to fund the University of Alaska school system, and thus its athletic department.  The system is facing $50 million in budget cuts, so both hockey teams are now on the table.  Right now it's not looking good.  In response, this report was published outlining three possibilities to ameliorate that deficit in the athletics programs.  There is a chance that all sports programs at both campuses will be forced to downgrade to Division II.  There is a chance that all sports programs will be abolished entirely.  And there is a third possibility: A sort-of co-op group that combines the Anchorage and Fairbanks hockey programs (and all sports programs) into one team.

I have seen this before, in a way.  Alabama-Birmingham had voted to euthanize its football team.  But after outrage and the backing of a bunch of rich UAB cats that would rather see low-level football than, say, fund education or something, Blazers football will be back next season.  I can see something like that happening here.  I really doubt that both teams will just be put down.  At any rate, news on this may comes as soon as next month.  Stay tuned.

Now to tie this into the Gopher men's hockey team.  Because Head Coach Don Lucia (who signed an extension just before the season began through 2019, so I guess he's not going anywhere for a while) started his coaching career in Alaska, he began the U.'s 2016-7 campaign in Anchorage last weekend, crushing the host Seawolves, 6-0, and then doubling up the Nanooks in a neutral-site game, 6-3.  Burnsville native Tyler Sheehy is the conference's First Star Of The Week for his two goals and three assists in the two wins.

What now for the Gophers, who finished out of the NCAA Tournament last year?  The conference, despite its name, remains a one-bid league and, betraying its size, seen as weaker in college hockey than Hockey East and the National Collegiate Hockey Conference.  Coaches think the U., behind potential Hobey Baker Award candidate Justin Kloos and reigning conference Goalie Of The Year (and Anchorage native) Eric Schierhorn will win the league, which is great, but it's likely that, once again, the U. will be the only team carrying the B1G battle flag into The Most Underrated Postseason Event In American Sport.  Let's just hope that they regain their lofty position as one of the premier programs in the sport.

#-3: Wild (Re-Entry!).  Writers are being charitable when they say the Mild's window is closing.  I think it's already closed.  What the team is doing now is hoping Bruce Boudreau can draw blood from a stone and get this veteran-laden squad to a sterling regular season record.  (He's had a crappy postseason resume, but management isn't worried about that right now.)  I don't know -- unless these veterans can go all Cocoon and play like their old selves, I am really scared that this team is very vulnerable to a freefall in the still-competitive Central Division.  Losing their first game of the year, 3-2 at St. Louis last (Thursday) night, doesn't help.

This week is the first three home games of the year: Winnipeg Saturday, Los Angeles Tuesday, Toronto (and Auston Matthews, who could not have had a better first professional game ever, so it's all downhill from here) Thursday.

#-4: Gopher football (Last Week: -3).  Well, this is getting depressing, and maddeningly typical.  Despite a tough defense (and, just as likely, turgid opposing offense), Minnesota was unable to retake Floyd of Rosedale at Das Bank v.1.0 and lost Saturday to Iowa, 14-7.  They were leading until the D made one mistake, Akrum Wadley's 54-yard scamper that gave the Hawkeyes the lead for good with 5 1/2 minutes left.

The offense, once again, had a chance to get the club the win.  But despite matriculating the ball 70 yards down the field to the Iowa 18, Mitch Leidner couldn't direct the drive to paydirt.  That 70-yard rampage was atypical of what was going on in that game.  He finished 13-for-33 for 166 yards and a pair of Interceptions.  He also got smacked fairly hard on a scramble down the sideline.  After the game he was held from press availability, and I have yet to hear word on whether or not he'll play Saturday's game in Maryland.  Leidner could be told to sit down, either due to injury or to ineffectiveness.  The U. is 0-2 in conference play, and Tracy Claeys's first season leading this team may be his last, especially with Lane Kiffin looking better and better by the day.

Yeah, My Standoffish Attitude Was The Right Way To Act

I have started to notice a difference between the two networks who air Vikings games.  Because the Vikes are an NFC club, I see people from one network more often.  That breeds more familiarity and thus more friendliness than when the other network comes.  Add to that that I might be assigned to a different department for the broadcast, and what results might be not just an unfamiliarity with me, but an indifference, a refusal to get to know me.  I am always going to just be "the help," but the people who come around more often I have seen (at least some of them) for years now.  If I'm not going away, they have to at least recognize my face.

That was not the case with the game Sunday.  First of all, Houston was in town.  Second of all, I was assigned to work on that day, and to do something away from the actual broadcast department.  Finally, I had to wait a whole hour outside Oooooooooooooooooosbahnk Stadium because the ... oh, I'll just say it, stupid people who had my credential thought they could wait behind the security gates to wait for me even though I couldn't get past the security gates because I didn't have a credential.  (People got past the gate without a pass just before I got there, apparently.  Oh, and when I got to the truck, the person I was specifically working under said, "The person who was supposed to pass out credentials couldn't get in because he didn't have a credential.")

So from what little I knew and what happened first thing in the morning, I knew this wasn't going to be a good day, or at least a time where people were going to be, you know, cordial.  Going in I thought to myself, "Just keep your head down, don't be gregarious, and do what you are told the best you can."  I learned that the hard one time a crew for this network came to town years back that being a nice guy might get you in a lot of trouble from people who don't give a shit about you.  And it was the right mindset for the game, because the ... well, I'll be vague, what would have been my immediate supervisor was an in-over-his-head prick.

The driver who took the talent to the stadium got lost on the way and the commentators lost it.  So that's why this guy was in a bad mood when he marched up to me and asked me if I knew how to get to the broadcast booth.  And he screamed like ... yeah, I'll just say it, a spoiled millennial, "Don't say yes if you don't know!"  To which I replied, calmly and like a grown-up, "I.  Know."

I understand the panic in his attitude.  He wants to work in sports.  He feels as if he's at the bottom of the totem pole and therefore shit runs all the way down to him (even though he's not and it doesn't because us locals are here).  And something bad happened to which consequences could be so bad that he could lose his job and thus his dream of working in sports.  I see that.  I saw that when he kept emphasizing that he needed someone reliable to take the director's friend to the broadcast booth (he never came, by the way).  And I saw it when he warned me that his co-worker couldn't step outside to see his friend, who is working for the Vikings.  Hey, pal, I fucking know that.  This is not my first rodeo, although it's obviously this is your first rodeo.  I was going to ask if he wanted to see her.

But although his attitude is not unlike most of the people in his position who I have encountered over the, oh, dozen years I've done this, there have been a few, maybe a couple, who have, at the very least, hasn't taken out the crap he's taken on me/us.  There is such a thing as grace under pressure, and a very few people understand that you need to, at the very least, keep your head while everything is falling down around him or her.  There are some people who think that being an asshole is OK while you're stressed because you're a completely nice person once that stress goes away.  That is bullshit.  You can be calm and courteous regardless of the circumstances; you just choose not to be.

That was the case here, and I fear that that will be the case from now on.  In fact, just to be on the safe side, I think I'll keep my distance from these guys in all my games, from the familiar as well as the unfamiliar network.  Better that to make sure you don't get your head chopped off.  Still, maybe, just maybe, this really was this guy's first gig.  And I guess he seemed relaxed when I took a hat for all my troubles.  (I was one of several people swarming all over him after the game to get this piece of swag.  That had to be supremely annoying from his end, but frankly, if I don't get hired by this network ever again [and that may very well be the case, even though I did nothing wrong], I was going to get a freebie out of it.)  I did say three things: "Thanks," "Need anything else?" and "Have a safe trip."  Totally innocuous statements to which he replied cordially.

So maybe I can cut him some slack.  That's assuming that he won't get me fired because he's an impossible dick.

Everybody Here Is Now An Enemy To Me

Why?  Someone stole my damn Pepsi can from the break room fridge.  I got it from this alumni club event I volunteered for, I brought it in last week and planned on enjoying it this week (maybe even today) with the bag of chips I got from the Vikings game Sunday.  But remembering that I got a free can of Red Bull swiped from my bag at the old test scoring place, I checked again yesterday.  I don't really remember where I put it -- I thought it was in the back of one of the two fridges -- but I think I looked everywhere, and it was gone.

This morning I just had to vent.  So, not apropos -- I think they said "Hi" and I just launched into it -- I told the two people who are working in the same room as I (although they are not working on the same things as I) that I got my can of pop stolen from me, and wouldn't you know it, it cut open a vein with them.  They went on for a good 15 minutes about stuff that they had stolen from us.  This conversation confirmed something that more employers should, in my opinion, pay attention to.  I know that losing a Pepsi or a Red Bull or a cookie or a frozen food meal isn't the worst thing in the world.  There were times last night where I forgot that my soda was stolen from me.  (Hell, I forgot just now.)  But when it happens, it's extremely annoying, because you would think your stuff would be secure at your workplace, which, if you look at it in a certain way, is very intimate.  It is the death of trust by a thousand cuts.  One stolen item isn't going to mean you're quitting, but when it happens more than once, and when it happens to everyone on a floor, which I suspect is the case, you like your place of work a little less.  And that loss of security, #firstworldproblems though it may be, is permanent.

I have to admit that I am getting a little paranoid about this.  Someone stole my Pepsi, and someone knew they were stealing it; per policy, I labeled that can with my name and the date I put it into the refrigerator.  No one who works here would be so stupid to not notice the label.  So now I'm looking at everyone who works on this floor and trying to guess who might've taken it.  Trust me, it's not very healthy to walk by someone you don't know but works on the same floor as you and think, "Oh, maybe she stole it!" and then look at a guy walk into his cubicle and think to yourself, "No, I can totally see him stealing my Pepsi!"  I know I won't leave because of one can of pop, but if I keep obsessing about who might steal it, how can I stay?

The two people who are also working in this room kind of talked me down off the ledge.  It may not be someone who works here.  It may be -- may likely be, in fact -- that it's a temp or a member of the cleaning crew who stole it.  Better than a co-worker, but it's still theft, and if it happens so often to the point people can't trust that their food will be where they put it, shouldn't employers do something about it?  I don't like putting cameras in the break room or even in the fridge, but if it prevents this petty theft ... well, yeah, it's about time they do it.

In the meantime, one of them allowed me to put my creamer and any future items into a mini-fridge she keeps in her cubicle.  There, my stuff should be forever safe.  Maybe.

Person Who Should Be Fired: My Contact At The Temp Agency

OK, this bitch who didn't listen to me before I started this job did it again.  Today at work I get this frantic e-mail (and I know you can't really tell frenzy in an e-mail, but trust me, she was frantic) from her saying that I needed to fill out my I-9.  Except that I did.  I even replied to her with a screengrab of my temp agency account that showed I did the I-9.  And without referencing my e-mail at all, she told me I had to go into their offices and do it again.

Taking time out of my workday to do this is already annoying.  I now have to adjust my schedule to make sure I get my hours in.  But it's the impression that she didn't even acknowledge what I said in my e-mail that really pisses me off.  This really isn't my issue, but she's making it my issue because she said I don't get paid if I don't come in.  And beyond that, filling out tax forms is something usually done before a job begins, not now.  I had time to do this before this job began, and I resent that I have to take valuable time out of my schedule to do this now.  That I don't think she understands or cares about this plight she put me in infuriates me.

I thought my first contact at the temp agency was bad, but I hated her only because she was stupid and a liar.  This one is a nag and selfish and completely indifferent to my feelings.  Plus she's affecting me now, so she's worse.

Oh, by the way, I had to come in and see her in the summer.  She has bad skin.  Also, she was wearing a shirt that she didn't button.  I could see all the way in to the bra/tank top she was wearing.  I would be turned on if she weren't my contact, and if she weren't so dumb.  How lazy, how unprofessional.  I should have known that was a sign of how she would treat me.

Alright, so I am interested in finally getting a new laptop.  I thought I could get one at a discount at work because last year I bought a USB cable from their store, and when I flashed them my work ID and I got 20% off.  I was going to do the same thing this year to buy the computer, but when I looked at the fine print, I didn't know whether I was qualified.

So I asked if I was, and the e-mail I got back from the ... uh, department was ... well, I'm kind of in a tizzy now, so right now I will describe it as unhelpful, vaguely rude, and dumb.  The response is one sentence, and it's the same sentence I see in the fine print.  And then it refers me to the eligibility rules of the discount program.  Like I couldn't do that myself, or like I didn't tell the woman who sent this useless and stupid e-mail that I read that already.

This is so unhelpful that I think I'm just going to go and try to buy it anyway.  My God.

Where I Have Nothing To Do, But Unfortunately I Have Nothing To Do

One of the things about this assignment -- one of the things I like -- is that they know that there are some down times during the day, and they're OK with that.  Euphemistically, they say that there will be days where "we beg for your patience."  Beg?  Hell, if I can chill on the Internet and work on my receipts, you can have as much patience as you want!

Right now is one of those times.  The project my immediate supervisor had me working on I finished early this morning, and I dropped it off at her desk.  I have been back on my desk since.  She has not come to the desk where I'm working now to check up on me.  I haven't been back to her desk.  There is a possibility that she is not here.  Regardless, I am under the impression that that is OK, and that if there is anything they want from me, they'll get me.

Cool.  So for the back half of the day I have had all to myself.  So, what to do?  I thought of finally getting my receipts together, playing catch-up by writing them down in my day planner, and then reconciling my expenses for the month of September.  If I have no work, I think this is a prime opportunity to be productive with my paperwork.

So I pulled all the receipts out of my pants, organized them by date and stacked them up.  And then I pulled out my pens, opened up my Franklin Quest ... and saw that I didn't have any October pages to write these receipts on.  And then I saw that I didn't have any empty page on which to write the expenses for the month of September.  So now I'm stuck.

This really sucks because I am virtually assured that I will be left alone, to my own devices, for the rest of the day.  Getting September reconciled could be something I really could grind down today, then after that, I can start writing down October.  If I were able to do both things, I could get rid of these receipts.  But I can't.  Now, what awaits me in the morning?  What if my immediate supervisor isn't here now, but will be back tomorrow, and with something for me to do?  That would represent a huge blown chance to get caught up on my stuff.

All is not lost.  I am blogging this; I need to put in some days where I post twice.  I also can get catch up with my e-mails; I slacked off a few days last week and it grew to 200, so I can spend the rest of my time here going through all of those.  But I think I could have arranged this better.  I just didn't think of looking in my FQ to make sure I had all that I needed.

Goddammit, I Missed A Day

Well, fuck me.  As you maybe saw, I totally forgot to blog for Saturday.  See, I thought I blog posted my blog, the previous one about Expenses Without Receipts, late Friday night (technically Saturday morning) at Caffetto.  But I had to stop myself because there were EWRs for a couple days which I didn't remember but did write down in my day planner, which I didn't have with me.  I thought I would go home and either finish it up that night or in the morning.

That obviously didn't happen.  I conked off as soon as I hit the bed.  Then, even though I lolled around my bed for a few hours, I totally didn't even think about blogging.  Instead I went to exercise before my alma mater's game.  After that, I went home, had a prolonged snack that was not supposed to be dinner, and Mother asked me to help her find these floss brush things that might be sold only in India.  That wild goose chase sapped an hour out of my life, and with that and eating and showering and saltwater rinsing the fillings I got on Thursday, I didn't have a whole lot of time to think, let alone blog, especially since I had to wake up at 5:15 the next morning to work the Vikings game.

That's when I thought it wise to blog for Sunday.  And when I opened up my Blogger, I checked the dates, realized I had skipped one, and remembered that I was saving the post that I thought I had published because I intended to check on something.

I feel like such a stupid fool.  And not to make excuses, but I have excuses.  There was the need to wake up early; the game kicking off in the afternoon when it usually was at night, thus throwing my whole routine off; the mistake of thinking I would go back to WAF when I was too tired to remember to do so, which is another break from routine; Mother bothering me with some bullshit for an hour; and hell, I still can't get over losing two sets of keys.  I'm not in the right mindspace, and I haven't been since I lost the first set.

The irony about this oversight is inescapable.  I have taken two vacations, occasions where I usually am too busy and/or don't have the means to blog every day.  Yet I was able to, both on my roadtrip across the northeastern U.S. and Toronto and on my trip to St. Louis.  I am here in Minnesota, and through carelessness and fatigue, this is when I skip a day.

You know, when I began this blog I knew that I was going to miss days.  Hell, I missed doing something on Wailing And Failing on January 2, the second day of this blog's existence.  And yet ... and yet ... never have I gone an entire year where I blogged at least once a day.  When I started WAF I thought that was unreasonable.  But now, looking back on it, I was keeping it up in 2016.  With only three months to go, why not go through all 365 (actually 366, since this year is a leap year) days?  But no.  Just one slip-up and that streak is ruined.

I totally hate myself right now.

Expenses Without Receipts

This is getting a little long.  From Saturday, October 8:

• Charged my food at Runyon's for the game that Saturday, so let's go to Friday the 7th ... When I went to the dental clinic at the U. last month, there were two cavities that needed to be filled.  They didn't have time to get both.  (That's partially because I was being worked on by a student.)  Moreover, during normal inspection they decided there was yet another cavity that needed a filling.  On this day they fixed those two cavities -- and it appears as though they would want me back again, if only for some "polishing" work on one of the fillings.  Nevertheless I'm scheduled for a six-month check-up, in March, the day before my birthday.  Oh, anyway, since this was at the U. and this was during the day, I parked along the Snelling Avenue light rail stop to get there.  Total for the two tickets (one ticket is good for 2 1/2 hours, but I was at the clinic from 8:30 till about noon): $4.
• After the fucking disaster of the back-to-back dances the previous Friday (and this is not counting at all me losing my keys that day, although that still fucking sucks), I was determined to get off with a stripper.  So, knowing that I had Friday off because I had to go to the dentist's, I texted ***a* to see if she was free.  And she was, but only at night.  Now I didn't really want to do it at night, but I was thinking with my little head, so I agreed to it.  Besides, her daughter was at the Homecoming game, so I thought having a "Postman Always Rings Twice" ring to this encounter would make me cum easily.  I didn't.  I had to jerk myself off onto her chest.  And I feel totally shitty about it because ***a* is a total cock-sucking champ!  She worked my thing something fierce.  And this time she added some really aggressive moves that turned me into a submissive dog -- spanking, playing with my balls, grabbing the back of my thighs to pull me closer as she was swallowing me.  So I feel absolutely horrible that I couldn't pay her back for her work.  Maybe I should cool it with the parties.  Nonetheless I paid her: $120.
• After seeing ***a* I went to Caffetto to reflect on our sex act and, well, to finish off this Expenses Without Receipts.  The dental student told me that I should avoid crumbly foods because the crumbs could fall into one of the cavities.  Does chocolate cake count as crumbly?  Well, I ate it.  With a medium hot chocolate and tip: $7.15.
• ETA on 12:18 a.m. on October 10 an EWR from Thursday, October 6.  I started a two-stage experiment, one component of which was some time in the MRI lab at the U.  That first stage I did a couple months ago, when I wasn't working.  Well, I am working now, but the coordinator is being very flexible with me on this second stage just so she could get this done.  The MRI component was on this date, and I was paid cash money after I got out of the tube.  An Infusion of: $40.
• On Wednesday the 5th I had to keep myself awake.  I needed coffee, but for the life of me I can't find the University of St. Thomas coffee mug I have used for years.  I could continue looking for it, but to be honest, I took this as an opportunity to upgrade.  I looked up "best coffee mugs" online and saw this Japanese company called Zojirushi.  Their mugs are uniformly expensive but unanimously lauded.  So, even though I really can't afford it, I bought one of these; it should come next week.  That way I can finally get free coffee made on my floor, instead of going down to the Starbucks in the commissary and getting coffee.  Twice.  With a donation (because there is no tip jar at this Starbucks, which threw me for a loop) and the total for the workday was: $6.03.
• Monday, October 3: My first day at work, and to celebrate I wanted to buy something at the commissary.  I was given a 70-minute lunch (yay, first day!  Yay, the people I work for!), so even after putting in a 32-minute nap, I still had time to leisurely eat a salad prepared for me: $3.28.
• Reeling back to Friday, September 30 -- started my day off at Anelace.  I usually get this lidded carafe that allows me multiple cups of coffee, but on this day, the dude just delivered me a cup of coffee.  I usually get more coffee than this.  WTH?  Whatever, I won't be going to these guys for the next several months.  Coffee plus tip: $4.40.
• Went to the first of two parties on this day in the afternoon.  Spoke about it here so I don't have to rehash it.  With cover and two other dances from *a*** (ETA on 2:28 p.m. on October 11 that it's actually *i**** -- my God, I've made so many mistakes on this EWR) and Heaven: $150.
• That evening I went to the University of Minnesota women's hockey team's first game of the season, against Lindenwood, a school in St. Louis.  I went because, as has become tradition, I wanted to see the championship banner raised in Ridder Arena.  Wow, that side of the arena is now chock full of banners.  They'll need to take the minor ones down.  By the way, although the U. won, 3-0, those goals were hard to come by.  They didn't swashbuckle past the Lions like I thought they would.  Credit to Lindenwood, they played hard.  Cost of program, hot dog and small Coke: $9.50.
• After that I went to the second house party of the night.  Wrote about that goddamn frustrating experience here as well.  Cover, a regular lapper from host *****a and *a*** fucking me out of a suckjob on the bed: $135.
• Had to go to Glam Doll after that, to both work on some alumni club stuff and to work out my blue balls frustrations from the night party.  Two donuts (neither of them a Night Moves -- they didn't make them!), pour-over coffee and tip: $10.
• On Thursday the 29th I gave myself some time to wake up -- 9:30, as if I didn't have to go to work, and in actuality, I didn't.  I went to Lisa's Shoe Shine to get my shoes shined for the last time ... and just on a lark, I brought my old, beat-up Doc Martens for her to polish along with my current Docs.  With tip the total in order to feel like a million bucks came to: $25.
• After seeing my psychiatrist I went to the library to print out a copy of my IRA automatic payment form and to make a copy of these receipts and UPC codes for Mother, who needs to send them in for a rebate.  But goddammit, I thought I oriented those things correctly in the copy screen, and when the copy came out, it cut off the bottom parts of the receipts, which meant that the goddamn thing was laid out in the wrong direction.  Why aren't there specific instructions on this on the copying machine???  Total: 30 cents.
• On Wednesday, September 28, the last day at my time in St. Louis, I started off by giving the people who will clean up my strewn bedsheets and towels a tip of: $2.
• I then went to the library to print out a copy of my airline ticket.  I had that on my phone, but ... hear me out -- I went to this library Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday, all three times I asked for a guest pass, and all three times I was treated very nicely.  The woman who helped me Tuesday noted the process by which I could print something out.  And so I felt obligated to print something out, and it was going to be the ticket.  OK?  And besides, it turned out to be a bad idea because the jagoff who was on the computer before apparently printed something on landscape and not portrait, therefore the barcode was too small for either the TSA or gate agent to scan.  It was a waste of: 10 cents.
• I had the entire day to myself, but I had to be on the move with no hotel room to go back to and relax.  I finally decided to go to the Anheuser-Busch brewery for a tour.  I've done this before, several years ago, but I wanted to go back for two reasons.  One, the beer, of course.  Two, my first tour happened while A-B was its own company.  Since then it has whored sold itself to InBev, and I wondered what, if anything, has been affected on the tour since being acquired.  The answer, I think, is a lot.  The tour was much shorter.  When I went the first time we went through what I believe was a very thorough look at the brewing process.  This time, save for one quick visit into the tanks, there was nothing about making beer on this tour.  Instead we saw the Clydesdales and saw a one-room schoolhouse that has been turned into a company museum.  We then were shunted to German-style beer hall, which was way bigger and better than the room we had several years ago, we were given two wooden chips for complimentary beers (when I swear we had an open bar), and we were given food menus in which to order.  Last time we were given peanuts to help sop up the alcohol in our stomachs.  Oh, and there was that obnoxious photo-taker that took a picture of me in front of a Clydesdale cart.  The tour guide (we had three, and all of them seemed to be bored out of their minds) said that getting your photo taken "was a part of the tour."  No, it's not!  Why the hell would that be part of the tour?  You know, I think I spoke about this long enough to make it its own blog post, but whatever.  Tip for the two free beers: $2.
• I needed to return my car after that.  Was a half-hour late in returning it, but that's because 1) I slept off the beer in my car for 30 minutes and 2) I hit really bad traffic involving a semi whose cab melted down in flames.  I was going to be charged an extra hour, but I marched right into the place and asked it be taken off.  And Rjeem did.  Thank you, Rjeem.  Oh, I needed to take their courtesy shuttle to the airport so I could use the light rail to The Loop.  I tipped the shuttle driver: $1.
• To Tuesday, September 27 ... first EWR was Dollie's.  Cover, beer, tips, a beer for Autumn, and going behind the beads with Autumn (where I had to jerk myself off in order to cum, I don't want to talk about it): $129.
• Went to the Cardinals game.  Lumiere, the downtown casino, now provides a shuttle to everyone who has a casino card -- in other words, anyone who signs up for a casino card.  (They've turned their parking lot into a "members only" lot too -- thank goodness I've done very little to be a member!)  This shuttle has a little milk crate for tips, so I gave: $1.
• I walked home on the way back from the game, a win which was too little, too late for the Cards.  On the way back I saw a unique set of buskers: A family of violin players who are trying to raise money for a trip to Nashville.  Is this the best way to do that?  Well, they did play "Take Me Out To The Ballgame" while I walked past, so even though I don't do this often, I tipped them: $1.
• Felt the itch to paint the town red afterward.  And I thought this was a good time to hit Ameristar and Hollywood, the two casinos close to the airport.  Every single time I have vacationed in St. Louis I have gotten a hotel close to the airport, which made gambling in those two casinos very easy.  Not this time.  But I wanted to not some activity on my rewards card, so I went -- just for a very little bit, but I did.  At Ameristar, a place where I actually made money the last time, I sat down, put some money in a slot machine, won two bucks first time out, and pulled up stakes.  Take that, Ameristar!  An Infusion of: $12. (ETA on 11:27 a.m. on Tuesday, October 11 that it actually was $2.  I know that for a fact, and I don't know why I put one buck in there.)
• I then went to Hollywood, where I braved the craps table.  While I love playing it, I lost money; I thereby starved Ameristar in order to pay Hollywood, to twist an idiom.  I also sank a few bucks into a slot machine and did not hit a jackpot.  All told, with tips, I lost: $22.
• ETA on 11:31 a.m. on Tuesday, October 11 that I totally forgot the last EWR for the day.  I went to Coffee Cartel to write down the ATM receipts I get printed out for all the money I take out of my checking account onto my register.  I am now four years behind, but when I started to work on it, I got sort of addicted and I really wanted to see how much I could write down.  I have so many receipts that my checkbook is bulging badly.  Still, if I wasn't leaving the next day, I probably would have stayed till dawn.  Regardless, I think I got through, oh, late 2012, so that's progress.  Anyway, I bought a mocha so I could sit and list all of these things.  With tip: $5.
• Spiraling back to Monday the 26th, where I went to Dollie's for the first time.  Autumn popped me good, thank goodness.  Interesting; she first spotted me, not the other way around.  I still don't think she knows my name, but I'm now sure she recognizes my face.  With drinks for me and for her, as well as another girl who said her house burned down, and tips and cover, yeah, that makes it: $146.
• Then went to the Cardinals game via the shuttle.  Tip: $1.
• Charged just about everything while at the baseball game.  Everything except the scorecard I used to keep track of Monday's game, a blowout loss.  Their method of scoring is so exotic as to be scary.  There are, like, sticks used for hits, and stems come out the top of to signify where in the outfield the hit went to.  It's weird!  They also say it's "The Cardinal Way" of scoring, and if it is, I don't want to know that "Way."  Scorecard cost: $2.50.
• After the game I honored the spirit of my parking at Lumiere by playing for a bit.  I was rewarded by winning some money at the $10 craps table.  Those $10 tables scare me, but at least on this trip, I made money on that one and lost cash on the $5 ones.  All told I had an Infusion/won: $30.
• I then made my way up to Alton, Illinois.  I do this for two reasons.  One, there is a casino up there that I like, the Argosy.  Second, I go to the Pub Room, which is a room whose bartenders, I hear, show their tits for money.  This happened the first two time I went, but not in the four times or so since, which equates to about five years or more.  So why do I go up here, anyway?  I spent 15 minutes drinking a Bud Light.  With tip: $3.25.
• Then I went to Argosy to make sure they knew I gambled there.  For a little bit; I sank some money into a slot machine and got nothing back: $6.
• Then, finally, I thought this was the time to hit the Steak 'N' Shake close to my hotel.  We don't have that restaurant here, and since it was so close, I felt obligated to go.  'Tis the season, so I got a pumpkin spice shake to go along with my single steakburger, and while the burger was good, mmmmmmmmmmmm the shake was delicious.  With tip: $9.
• Back to Sunday the 25th -- woke up early to make a point to go to what I think is St. Louis' premier soccer pub, the Amsterdam.  I got lost -- thanks, Waze! -- and yet I made it just in time to see kickoff.  Lucky me.  There was a guy there that chatted me up and bought me a shot.  Great to have liquor at 10 in the morning.  But he was a good dude.  With tip for the local brew I bought: $6.
• Then I went to the Saint Louis women's volleyball game.  (There was a women's soccer game playing at the same time at SIU-Edwardsville, but I chose not to go there.  My past two visits I went only to SIUE to check out a men's and women's basketball game, and I figured that with the schedule as it is, it was time for me to go only to SLU games.  It's ironic, though; the past two visits I stayed at an airport on the Missouri side and yet I saw games in a college on the Illinois side.  This trip I actually stayed in the Illinois side but decided to take in college games exclusively on the Missouri side!)  I thought it was in Chaifetz Arena, but I realized that the mothers with their daughters in tow weren't there for a match; no, instead they were there for Disney On Ice.  The game wasn't displaced; instead it was played in an auxiliary gym (I think they call it a pavilion) on the side of Chaifetz.  Strange.  The Bilikens won, beating George Washington in three sets, but the Bills are no juggernaut.  Paid a steep price for an adult ticket, though: $10.
• Next, I went to Q In The Lou, the downtown barbecue festival.  I thought BBQ was big in this town, but the place was only moderately packed, and maybe less so.  That might be because it was so hot outside ... or it's because it's St. Louis, a dying town where residents don't want to go hang out downtown.  I charged on my credit card the four places that I bought ribs from, and all but one of them were good.  In fact, two of the smokehouses (can't remember their names now) were very good.  I was in the spirit, sort of, so I bought some lottery tickets from the pop-up lottery office.  But when I asked for a receipt, they said their machine didn't print out receipts.  Bullshit: $3.
• Finished my night at Hollywood Show Club.  The place was dead, again, and all the girls there (save for one, maybe two) aren't the caliber it was in its sort-of glorious past.  Got three bed dances from an Athena, who teased me by lightly touching my dick.  It was so light I'm still not sure if she actually touched it.  But at least she told me her real name.  With cover, beer and tips for beer and the strippers: $112.
• On my way home I got so thirsty that I went to the Wal-Mart nearby and got a Coke from the vending machine.  It's terrible how this behemoth treats and pays its workers, but at least the pop is cheap: 50 cents.
• Now to Saturday, September 24, the day I left for St. Louis.  The first EWR was the shuttle that took me from the airport to the car center.  Tipped him: $1.
• Thought I would have to go straight to the SLU soccer match, but I actually had time to check into my hotel, then going back across the river to get to the game, which was Homecoming, against VCU.  Found free parking on a side street, which is glorious.  Not glorious were the number of mosquito bites I got while watching the match.  Damn, St. Louis was hot!  I even saw a skeeter latched onto the back of my knee.  I tried to smack it, but I was so ham-fisted I missed badly.  Oh, the customer service there was fantastic.  I asked someone where to buy tickets, and she gave me one another spectator gave her because he or she had a free one.  And then someone found the phone I had inexplicably left on the bleachers and turned it into the press box.  Phew!  After losing my first set of keys, I didn't need to lose my phone!  With the free ticket I only paid for beer (at a college game?) and tip and the total was: $8.
• Since I was in the area -- or I thought I was; thanks, Waze! -- I thought this was the night to go to Ted Drewes.  They've gone back to turning over the concretes again, but the customer service there still is quite shitty.  Total: $5.43.
• Then got my casinoing in.  Went to Lumiere Place downtown and promptly lost in slots: $10.
• Then I went across the Mississippi and finally (after getting lost -- fuck you, Waze!) finding the Casino Queen.  And that's where I promptly lost my shirt on craps: $50.
• Friday, September 23 ... Went to Caffetto, where the wi-fi issues I experienced seem to be gone.  Small coffee plus tip: $2.
• In the afternoon I went to My Favorite Stripclub (Non-Cover Edition) because I hadn't been in there in a while, and since I'm about to be off, I feel like I should duck in before I become a real stranger.  As soon as I go in, Cicily accosts me for a dance.  If I had been in there more frequently, I would have said no, but since I didn't, I agreed.  With tips for a couple strippers (the roster of four on this shift was filled with powerful veterans) and a Sprite (with a tip too): $27.75.
• On Thursday the 22nd I also spent the morning at Caffetto, for another small coffee with tip: $2.
• This was the day I had enough time to get my shoes shined.  Went downtown to park.  I think I have finally figured out the right amount of money to feed the meter so I don't put in too few and risk a ticket and I don't put in too much and waste my money.  From where I parked, I needed an hour's worth (at least at the rate of the meter I found), and that came out to only four quarters: $1.
• Lisa and I talked about death while she was shining my shoes.  With tip: $15.
• OK, on second thought, maybe I could have clipped off a quarter.  But there was no line for Lisa's, like I thought, and so I was able to spare ten minutes (the cost of a quarter at this particular meter) to eat a doughnut at Bogart's, even though I should watch my weight.  With tip: $2.75.
• I then spent some time going back to the airport to find my goddamn keys.  Still haven't found them.  I looked everywhere, so I had to go see if I somehow dropped them in the minivan we rented.  My working theory is that it happened the day after we came back from our roadtrip: For some reason we rented the car for an extra day, and so I used it while my sister and brother-in-law used my car.  Oh, I didn't get an answer; I have to call this 1-800 number because all lost-and-found items are sent to this place in St. Paul or something.  I'm giving you a huge backstory just to say that I parked at MOA and used the LRT to the rental car center at the airport: $1.75.
• In the evening I went to the library to print out tickets to the two Cardinals games I plan on going to.  Total: 20 cents.
• Wednesday, September 21 ... went to Caribou, got a medium coffee at small price per the offer by Caribou, cookie, tip: $3.50.
• Back to Tuedsay the 20th, where I stopped off at Anelace for a coffee.  I was a little frisky this time, buying a bitter cookie, too.  It was OK -- not too bitter that I didn't like it.  With tip: $6.
• On Monday the 19th I went to Caribou, but just for a small coffee.  With tip it totals: $2.25.
• To Sunday, September 18, where I went to the Gopher soccer match, where the U. trounced Ohio St.  Got a souvenir-sized Coke just in case the design on the cup was different.  I don't think it is.  With a hot dog and a program it all comes out to: $11.75.
• Saturday the 17th: Started off my day at Caffetto for a small coffee.  With tip: $2.
• Finished off my day at Glam Doll.  With tip: $8.54.
• Back on Friday the 16th I went to Caribou for a large coffee which was half-off because, I think, of a rewards deal.  With tip it came out to: $1.75.
• Went to the Minneapolis Institute of Arts because this was the last weekend of the Paul Allen exhibition.  The Microsoft co-founder and owner of the Seattle Seahawks and Portland Trail Blazers has an extensive collection featuring a lot of painters I know from school.  Paid $20 for the ticket, which I charged (and which was well worth it), but on my way out I donated to MIA: $1.
• After the museum I went to this party in St. Louis Park.  I think I went to this party because I hadn't gotten off in a while, and so I was desperate to blow my wad, even though this was at a hotel.  I was there as soon as the party was supposed to begin ... and all I saw were a bunch of guys.  It took an hour before the girls came in.  Stripper time, I tell ya.  Well, I still stuck around to get tittyfucked and knobbed off by *a***.  With a regular dance from Taylor and cover, the total amount of money I spent was: $155.
• And then after the party I went to Robbie Stadium to watch the Gopher soccer side fight Penn St. to a 1-all draw.  Hot dog, small Coke and program: $9.25.
• Thursday, September 15 -- I used the light rail because ... I went to the dentist's?  I think so.  Went to the U. during rush, went back to the strip mall (and my car) during non-wash, so the two tickets come out to: $4.
• I then leap to Monday the 12th, where I went to Caribou for -- well, I don't completely remember now, but based on the amount I put on this EWR draft, I'm guessing it was for a small coffee.  With tip the total was: $2.25.
• In the afternoon I paid a monthly pass at the community center to exercise: $15.

Good through October 8.