Expenses Without Receipts

This is getting a little long.  From Saturday, October 8:

• Charged my food at Runyon's for the game that Saturday, so let's go to Friday the 7th ... When I went to the dental clinic at the U. last month, there were two cavities that needed to be filled.  They didn't have time to get both.  (That's partially because I was being worked on by a student.)  Moreover, during normal inspection they decided there was yet another cavity that needed a filling.  On this day they fixed those two cavities -- and it appears as though they would want me back again, if only for some "polishing" work on one of the fillings.  Nevertheless I'm scheduled for a six-month check-up, in March, the day before my birthday.  Oh, anyway, since this was at the U. and this was during the day, I parked along the Snelling Avenue light rail stop to get there.  Total for the two tickets (one ticket is good for 2 1/2 hours, but I was at the clinic from 8:30 till about noon): $4.
• After the fucking disaster of the back-to-back dances the previous Friday (and this is not counting at all me losing my keys that day, although that still fucking sucks), I was determined to get off with a stripper.  So, knowing that I had Friday off because I had to go to the dentist's, I texted ***a* to see if she was free.  And she was, but only at night.  Now I didn't really want to do it at night, but I was thinking with my little head, so I agreed to it.  Besides, her daughter was at the Homecoming game, so I thought having a "Postman Always Rings Twice" ring to this encounter would make me cum easily.  I didn't.  I had to jerk myself off onto her chest.  And I feel totally shitty about it because ***a* is a total cock-sucking champ!  She worked my thing something fierce.  And this time she added some really aggressive moves that turned me into a submissive dog -- spanking, playing with my balls, grabbing the back of my thighs to pull me closer as she was swallowing me.  So I feel absolutely horrible that I couldn't pay her back for her work.  Maybe I should cool it with the parties.  Nonetheless I paid her: $120.
• After seeing ***a* I went to Caffetto to reflect on our sex act and, well, to finish off this Expenses Without Receipts.  The dental student told me that I should avoid crumbly foods because the crumbs could fall into one of the cavities.  Does chocolate cake count as crumbly?  Well, I ate it.  With a medium hot chocolate and tip: $7.15.
• ETA on 12:18 a.m. on October 10 an EWR from Thursday, October 6.  I started a two-stage experiment, one component of which was some time in the MRI lab at the U.  That first stage I did a couple months ago, when I wasn't working.  Well, I am working now, but the coordinator is being very flexible with me on this second stage just so she could get this done.  The MRI component was on this date, and I was paid cash money after I got out of the tube.  An Infusion of: $40.
• On Wednesday the 5th I had to keep myself awake.  I needed coffee, but for the life of me I can't find the University of St. Thomas coffee mug I have used for years.  I could continue looking for it, but to be honest, I took this as an opportunity to upgrade.  I looked up "best coffee mugs" online and saw this Japanese company called Zojirushi.  Their mugs are uniformly expensive but unanimously lauded.  So, even though I really can't afford it, I bought one of these; it should come next week.  That way I can finally get free coffee made on my floor, instead of going down to the Starbucks in the commissary and getting coffee.  Twice.  With a donation (because there is no tip jar at this Starbucks, which threw me for a loop) and the total for the workday was: $6.03.
• Monday, October 3: My first day at work, and to celebrate I wanted to buy something at the commissary.  I was given a 70-minute lunch (yay, first day!  Yay, the people I work for!), so even after putting in a 32-minute nap, I still had time to leisurely eat a salad prepared for me: $3.28.
• Reeling back to Friday, September 30 -- started my day off at Anelace.  I usually get this lidded carafe that allows me multiple cups of coffee, but on this day, the dude just delivered me a cup of coffee.  I usually get more coffee than this.  WTH?  Whatever, I won't be going to these guys for the next several months.  Coffee plus tip: $4.40.
• Went to the first of two parties on this day in the afternoon.  Spoke about it here so I don't have to rehash it.  With cover and two other dances from *a*** (ETA on 2:28 p.m. on October 11 that it's actually *i**** -- my God, I've made so many mistakes on this EWR) and Heaven: $150.
• That evening I went to the University of Minnesota women's hockey team's first game of the season, against Lindenwood, a school in St. Louis.  I went because, as has become tradition, I wanted to see the championship banner raised in Ridder Arena.  Wow, that side of the arena is now chock full of banners.  They'll need to take the minor ones down.  By the way, although the U. won, 3-0, those goals were hard to come by.  They didn't swashbuckle past the Lions like I thought they would.  Credit to Lindenwood, they played hard.  Cost of program, hot dog and small Coke: $9.50.
• After that I went to the second house party of the night.  Wrote about that goddamn frustrating experience here as well.  Cover, a regular lapper from host *****a and *a*** fucking me out of a suckjob on the bed: $135.
• Had to go to Glam Doll after that, to both work on some alumni club stuff and to work out my blue balls frustrations from the night party.  Two donuts (neither of them a Night Moves -- they didn't make them!), pour-over coffee and tip: $10.
• On Thursday the 29th I gave myself some time to wake up -- 9:30, as if I didn't have to go to work, and in actuality, I didn't.  I went to Lisa's Shoe Shine to get my shoes shined for the last time ... and just on a lark, I brought my old, beat-up Doc Martens for her to polish along with my current Docs.  With tip the total in order to feel like a million bucks came to: $25.
• After seeing my psychiatrist I went to the library to print out a copy of my IRA automatic payment form and to make a copy of these receipts and UPC codes for Mother, who needs to send them in for a rebate.  But goddammit, I thought I oriented those things correctly in the copy screen, and when the copy came out, it cut off the bottom parts of the receipts, which meant that the goddamn thing was laid out in the wrong direction.  Why aren't there specific instructions on this on the copying machine???  Total: 30 cents.
• On Wednesday, September 28, the last day at my time in St. Louis, I started off by giving the people who will clean up my strewn bedsheets and towels a tip of: $2.
• I then went to the library to print out a copy of my airline ticket.  I had that on my phone, but ... hear me out -- I went to this library Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday, all three times I asked for a guest pass, and all three times I was treated very nicely.  The woman who helped me Tuesday noted the process by which I could print something out.  And so I felt obligated to print something out, and it was going to be the ticket.  OK?  And besides, it turned out to be a bad idea because the jagoff who was on the computer before apparently printed something on landscape and not portrait, therefore the barcode was too small for either the TSA or gate agent to scan.  It was a waste of: 10 cents.
• I had the entire day to myself, but I had to be on the move with no hotel room to go back to and relax.  I finally decided to go to the Anheuser-Busch brewery for a tour.  I've done this before, several years ago, but I wanted to go back for two reasons.  One, the beer, of course.  Two, my first tour happened while A-B was its own company.  Since then it has whored sold itself to InBev, and I wondered what, if anything, has been affected on the tour since being acquired.  The answer, I think, is a lot.  The tour was much shorter.  When I went the first time we went through what I believe was a very thorough look at the brewing process.  This time, save for one quick visit into the tanks, there was nothing about making beer on this tour.  Instead we saw the Clydesdales and saw a one-room schoolhouse that has been turned into a company museum.  We then were shunted to German-style beer hall, which was way bigger and better than the room we had several years ago, we were given two wooden chips for complimentary beers (when I swear we had an open bar), and we were given food menus in which to order.  Last time we were given peanuts to help sop up the alcohol in our stomachs.  Oh, and there was that obnoxious photo-taker that took a picture of me in front of a Clydesdale cart.  The tour guide (we had three, and all of them seemed to be bored out of their minds) said that getting your photo taken "was a part of the tour."  No, it's not!  Why the hell would that be part of the tour?  You know, I think I spoke about this long enough to make it its own blog post, but whatever.  Tip for the two free beers: $2.
• I needed to return my car after that.  Was a half-hour late in returning it, but that's because 1) I slept off the beer in my car for 30 minutes and 2) I hit really bad traffic involving a semi whose cab melted down in flames.  I was going to be charged an extra hour, but I marched right into the place and asked it be taken off.  And Rjeem did.  Thank you, Rjeem.  Oh, I needed to take their courtesy shuttle to the airport so I could use the light rail to The Loop.  I tipped the shuttle driver: $1.
• To Tuesday, September 27 ... first EWR was Dollie's.  Cover, beer, tips, a beer for Autumn, and going behind the beads with Autumn (where I had to jerk myself off in order to cum, I don't want to talk about it): $129.
• Went to the Cardinals game.  Lumiere, the downtown casino, now provides a shuttle to everyone who has a casino card -- in other words, anyone who signs up for a casino card.  (They've turned their parking lot into a "members only" lot too -- thank goodness I've done very little to be a member!)  This shuttle has a little milk crate for tips, so I gave: $1.
• I walked home on the way back from the game, a win which was too little, too late for the Cards.  On the way back I saw a unique set of buskers: A family of violin players who are trying to raise money for a trip to Nashville.  Is this the best way to do that?  Well, they did play "Take Me Out To The Ballgame" while I walked past, so even though I don't do this often, I tipped them: $1.
• Felt the itch to paint the town red afterward.  And I thought this was a good time to hit Ameristar and Hollywood, the two casinos close to the airport.  Every single time I have vacationed in St. Louis I have gotten a hotel close to the airport, which made gambling in those two casinos very easy.  Not this time.  But I wanted to not some activity on my rewards card, so I went -- just for a very little bit, but I did.  At Ameristar, a place where I actually made money the last time, I sat down, put some money in a slot machine, won two bucks first time out, and pulled up stakes.  Take that, Ameristar!  An Infusion of: $12. (ETA on 11:27 a.m. on Tuesday, October 11 that it actually was $2.  I know that for a fact, and I don't know why I put one buck in there.)
• I then went to Hollywood, where I braved the craps table.  While I love playing it, I lost money; I thereby starved Ameristar in order to pay Hollywood, to twist an idiom.  I also sank a few bucks into a slot machine and did not hit a jackpot.  All told, with tips, I lost: $22.
• ETA on 11:31 a.m. on Tuesday, October 11 that I totally forgot the last EWR for the day.  I went to Coffee Cartel to write down the ATM receipts I get printed out for all the money I take out of my checking account onto my register.  I am now four years behind, but when I started to work on it, I got sort of addicted and I really wanted to see how much I could write down.  I have so many receipts that my checkbook is bulging badly.  Still, if I wasn't leaving the next day, I probably would have stayed till dawn.  Regardless, I think I got through, oh, late 2012, so that's progress.  Anyway, I bought a mocha so I could sit and list all of these things.  With tip: $5.
• Spiraling back to Monday the 26th, where I went to Dollie's for the first time.  Autumn popped me good, thank goodness.  Interesting; she first spotted me, not the other way around.  I still don't think she knows my name, but I'm now sure she recognizes my face.  With drinks for me and for her, as well as another girl who said her house burned down, and tips and cover, yeah, that makes it: $146.
• Then went to the Cardinals game via the shuttle.  Tip: $1.
• Charged just about everything while at the baseball game.  Everything except the scorecard I used to keep track of Monday's game, a blowout loss.  Their method of scoring is so exotic as to be scary.  There are, like, sticks used for hits, and stems come out the top of to signify where in the outfield the hit went to.  It's weird!  They also say it's "The Cardinal Way" of scoring, and if it is, I don't want to know that "Way."  Scorecard cost: $2.50.
• After the game I honored the spirit of my parking at Lumiere by playing for a bit.  I was rewarded by winning some money at the $10 craps table.  Those $10 tables scare me, but at least on this trip, I made money on that one and lost cash on the $5 ones.  All told I had an Infusion/won: $30.
• I then made my way up to Alton, Illinois.  I do this for two reasons.  One, there is a casino up there that I like, the Argosy.  Second, I go to the Pub Room, which is a room whose bartenders, I hear, show their tits for money.  This happened the first two time I went, but not in the four times or so since, which equates to about five years or more.  So why do I go up here, anyway?  I spent 15 minutes drinking a Bud Light.  With tip: $3.25.
• Then I went to Argosy to make sure they knew I gambled there.  For a little bit; I sank some money into a slot machine and got nothing back: $6.
• Then, finally, I thought this was the time to hit the Steak 'N' Shake close to my hotel.  We don't have that restaurant here, and since it was so close, I felt obligated to go.  'Tis the season, so I got a pumpkin spice shake to go along with my single steakburger, and while the burger was good, mmmmmmmmmmmm the shake was delicious.  With tip: $9.
• Back to Sunday the 25th -- woke up early to make a point to go to what I think is St. Louis' premier soccer pub, the Amsterdam.  I got lost -- thanks, Waze! -- and yet I made it just in time to see kickoff.  Lucky me.  There was a guy there that chatted me up and bought me a shot.  Great to have liquor at 10 in the morning.  But he was a good dude.  With tip for the local brew I bought: $6.
• Then I went to the Saint Louis women's volleyball game.  (There was a women's soccer game playing at the same time at SIU-Edwardsville, but I chose not to go there.  My past two visits I went only to SIUE to check out a men's and women's basketball game, and I figured that with the schedule as it is, it was time for me to go only to SLU games.  It's ironic, though; the past two visits I stayed at an airport on the Missouri side and yet I saw games in a college on the Illinois side.  This trip I actually stayed in the Illinois side but decided to take in college games exclusively on the Missouri side!)  I thought it was in Chaifetz Arena, but I realized that the mothers with their daughters in tow weren't there for a match; no, instead they were there for Disney On Ice.  The game wasn't displaced; instead it was played in an auxiliary gym (I think they call it a pavilion) on the side of Chaifetz.  Strange.  The Bilikens won, beating George Washington in three sets, but the Bills are no juggernaut.  Paid a steep price for an adult ticket, though: $10.
• Next, I went to Q In The Lou, the downtown barbecue festival.  I thought BBQ was big in this town, but the place was only moderately packed, and maybe less so.  That might be because it was so hot outside ... or it's because it's St. Louis, a dying town where residents don't want to go hang out downtown.  I charged on my credit card the four places that I bought ribs from, and all but one of them were good.  In fact, two of the smokehouses (can't remember their names now) were very good.  I was in the spirit, sort of, so I bought some lottery tickets from the pop-up lottery office.  But when I asked for a receipt, they said their machine didn't print out receipts.  Bullshit: $3.
• Finished my night at Hollywood Show Club.  The place was dead, again, and all the girls there (save for one, maybe two) aren't the caliber it was in its sort-of glorious past.  Got three bed dances from an Athena, who teased me by lightly touching my dick.  It was so light I'm still not sure if she actually touched it.  But at least she told me her real name.  With cover, beer and tips for beer and the strippers: $112.
• On my way home I got so thirsty that I went to the Wal-Mart nearby and got a Coke from the vending machine.  It's terrible how this behemoth treats and pays its workers, but at least the pop is cheap: 50 cents.
• Now to Saturday, September 24, the day I left for St. Louis.  The first EWR was the shuttle that took me from the airport to the car center.  Tipped him: $1.
• Thought I would have to go straight to the SLU soccer match, but I actually had time to check into my hotel, then going back across the river to get to the game, which was Homecoming, against VCU.  Found free parking on a side street, which is glorious.  Not glorious were the number of mosquito bites I got while watching the match.  Damn, St. Louis was hot!  I even saw a skeeter latched onto the back of my knee.  I tried to smack it, but I was so ham-fisted I missed badly.  Oh, the customer service there was fantastic.  I asked someone where to buy tickets, and she gave me one another spectator gave her because he or she had a free one.  And then someone found the phone I had inexplicably left on the bleachers and turned it into the press box.  Phew!  After losing my first set of keys, I didn't need to lose my phone!  With the free ticket I only paid for beer (at a college game?) and tip and the total was: $8.
• Since I was in the area -- or I thought I was; thanks, Waze! -- I thought this was the night to go to Ted Drewes.  They've gone back to turning over the concretes again, but the customer service there still is quite shitty.  Total: $5.43.
• Then got my casinoing in.  Went to Lumiere Place downtown and promptly lost in slots: $10.
• Then I went across the Mississippi and finally (after getting lost -- fuck you, Waze!) finding the Casino Queen.  And that's where I promptly lost my shirt on craps: $50.
• Friday, September 23 ... Went to Caffetto, where the wi-fi issues I experienced seem to be gone.  Small coffee plus tip: $2.
• In the afternoon I went to My Favorite Stripclub (Non-Cover Edition) because I hadn't been in there in a while, and since I'm about to be off, I feel like I should duck in before I become a real stranger.  As soon as I go in, Cicily accosts me for a dance.  If I had been in there more frequently, I would have said no, but since I didn't, I agreed.  With tips for a couple strippers (the roster of four on this shift was filled with powerful veterans) and a Sprite (with a tip too): $27.75.
• On Thursday the 22nd I also spent the morning at Caffetto, for another small coffee with tip: $2.
• This was the day I had enough time to get my shoes shined.  Went downtown to park.  I think I have finally figured out the right amount of money to feed the meter so I don't put in too few and risk a ticket and I don't put in too much and waste my money.  From where I parked, I needed an hour's worth (at least at the rate of the meter I found), and that came out to only four quarters: $1.
• Lisa and I talked about death while she was shining my shoes.  With tip: $15.
• OK, on second thought, maybe I could have clipped off a quarter.  But there was no line for Lisa's, like I thought, and so I was able to spare ten minutes (the cost of a quarter at this particular meter) to eat a doughnut at Bogart's, even though I should watch my weight.  With tip: $2.75.
• I then spent some time going back to the airport to find my goddamn keys.  Still haven't found them.  I looked everywhere, so I had to go see if I somehow dropped them in the minivan we rented.  My working theory is that it happened the day after we came back from our roadtrip: For some reason we rented the car for an extra day, and so I used it while my sister and brother-in-law used my car.  Oh, I didn't get an answer; I have to call this 1-800 number because all lost-and-found items are sent to this place in St. Paul or something.  I'm giving you a huge backstory just to say that I parked at MOA and used the LRT to the rental car center at the airport: $1.75.
• In the evening I went to the library to print out tickets to the two Cardinals games I plan on going to.  Total: 20 cents.
• Wednesday, September 21 ... went to Caribou, got a medium coffee at small price per the offer by Caribou, cookie, tip: $3.50.
• Back to Tuedsay the 20th, where I stopped off at Anelace for a coffee.  I was a little frisky this time, buying a bitter cookie, too.  It was OK -- not too bitter that I didn't like it.  With tip: $6.
• On Monday the 19th I went to Caribou, but just for a small coffee.  With tip it totals: $2.25.
• To Sunday, September 18, where I went to the Gopher soccer match, where the U. trounced Ohio St.  Got a souvenir-sized Coke just in case the design on the cup was different.  I don't think it is.  With a hot dog and a program it all comes out to: $11.75.
• Saturday the 17th: Started off my day at Caffetto for a small coffee.  With tip: $2.
• Finished off my day at Glam Doll.  With tip: $8.54.
• Back on Friday the 16th I went to Caribou for a large coffee which was half-off because, I think, of a rewards deal.  With tip it came out to: $1.75.
• Went to the Minneapolis Institute of Arts because this was the last weekend of the Paul Allen exhibition.  The Microsoft co-founder and owner of the Seattle Seahawks and Portland Trail Blazers has an extensive collection featuring a lot of painters I know from school.  Paid $20 for the ticket, which I charged (and which was well worth it), but on my way out I donated to MIA: $1.
• After the museum I went to this party in St. Louis Park.  I think I went to this party because I hadn't gotten off in a while, and so I was desperate to blow my wad, even though this was at a hotel.  I was there as soon as the party was supposed to begin ... and all I saw were a bunch of guys.  It took an hour before the girls came in.  Stripper time, I tell ya.  Well, I still stuck around to get tittyfucked and knobbed off by *a***.  With a regular dance from Taylor and cover, the total amount of money I spent was: $155.
• And then after the party I went to Robbie Stadium to watch the Gopher soccer side fight Penn St. to a 1-all draw.  Hot dog, small Coke and program: $9.25.
• Thursday, September 15 -- I used the light rail because ... I went to the dentist's?  I think so.  Went to the U. during rush, went back to the strip mall (and my car) during non-wash, so the two tickets come out to: $4.
• I then leap to Monday the 12th, where I went to Caribou for -- well, I don't completely remember now, but based on the amount I put on this EWR draft, I'm guessing it was for a small coffee.  With tip the total was: $2.25.
• In the afternoon I paid a monthly pass at the community center to exercise: $15.

Good through October 8.