#0: Gopher soccer (Last Week: -2). I braved the cold (as a Minnesotan I'm not allowed to say that 50's are cold, but I underestimate how cold one gets if you stay outside for a long period of time at that temperature) last (Wednesday) night and watched the Golden Gophers hammer the worst team in the Big Ten, Maryland, to the tune of 6-0. With that emphatic win (and through a series of tie-breakers that I don't quite understand, although I believe total points amongst common opponents broke the tie the U. had with Penn St. and Northwestern, even though they technically will be regarded as co-Big Ten champions for in perpetuity), for the sake of the tournament, Minnesota will be the #1 seed throughout the tournament, this weekend and next. For finishing with at least a share of the title for the first time in eight years, for getting home-pitch advantage throughout the tourney, and for the way they ended their season, I'll at least give them a non-negative number and the top of this week's survey. Meanwhile an accolade rolled in. Defender Nikki Albrecht was today named B1G Freshman Of The Week (abbreviate as it is) for tallying the third goal of the night against the Terrapins.
The Gophers begin postseason play, with an eye towards getting a national seed for the NCAA Tournament, Sunday at 2 when they play the eighth-seeded Indiana Hoosiers, a side they trounced 3-0 in Bloomington. That morning the conference cross-country tournament will set off at the Les Bolstad course, which sits right next to Robbie Stadium. I might make it a day at the corner of Cleveland and Larpenteur.
#-1: Gopher football (Last Week: -1). Wow. As I'm starting to write about the supposedly second-best team for this screening week, I see the five squads below the Gopher gridironers and recognize, once again, it's been a pretty shitty week for local sports. I mean, I don't want to degrade the team, for they did beat Rutgers for Homecoming. But the Scarlet Knights are far and away the worst team in the Big Ten, and maybe the worst BcS team in the country the past few seasons. And while the Goofs rolled up a 21-3 lead on them in the first quarter, Rutgers managed to come all the way back and, in fact, kick a Field Goal to put them up, 32-31, with four minutes left in the game. Somehow, Quarterback Mitch Leidner led the U. on a 13-play, 59-yard drive to allow Emmit Carpenter to hit a 28-yard FG to win the game. Even with another productive day from the 1-2 punch of Rodney Smith (111 yards rushing) and Shannon Brooks (87 yards running), this club struggled against an execrable team -- at home, for Homecoming. This victory should leave everyone feeling awful, especially Head Coach Tracy Claeys.
Can the Gophers at least put in a more solid effort against Illinois in Champaign early Saturday afternoon?
#-2: Wild (Last Week: 0). From Thursday, when the Jynx embarrassed themselves in the final game of the WNBA Finals (OK, I heard that they were able to come back, and I heard some bad call or no-call near the end, and that's how L.A. beat them by one -- no matter, I'm glad I left early and I still believe that buying a ticket to that goddamn game was The Biggest Waste Of Money I Ever Spent) through Monday, it was pretty fallow around here. I don't think any sports team from the Twin Cities won anything.
So, even though they had a .500 screening week just like the Gopher volleyball team, I'm putting the Mild above them for breaking sports fans' fast by destroying Boston Tuesday, 5-0. They followed that up by blanking Buffalo last (Thursday) night, 4-0. Even better, both dominating performances were done on the road. (Over the weekend they lost in Overtime at The Bastard Colorado Rockies and got doubled-up by the Islanders in Brooklyn, but hey, a 2-2 road trip isn't the worst thing in the world. And by the way, wow, the Wild were sent out east very early in the year.) Such offensive output makes Devan Dubnyk's life a lot easier. But this firepower might also reflect Bruce Boudreau's new "fire away" mandate for his team. So far, it looks as though this team feels as unshackled as Donald Trump. We'll see how far this continues now that they turn home for games this screening week against The Team That Was Stolen From Us and the very same said Sabres.
#-3: Gopher volleyball (Last Week: -3). No one said it would be easy, said Sheryl Crow. (Where did she go, by the way?) And it hasn't been an easy past couple weeks for, still, one of the prime contenders for the women's volleyball title. On Friday in Iowa City, they were taken to the edge against the Hawkeyes before taking the final two sets and beating Iowa in five. Then on Sunday, the third-ranked Gophers were taking to the 2-1 edge again, this time at the #1 team in the country and, arguably, the most-supported program in Women's Volleyball Nation, Nebraska. They took the fourth set, 25-22, but fell in the fifth, 15-8.
In the rough-and-tumble B1G, Minnesota is in a three-way tie for fourth. And they still could -- and should -- be in line to host a regional, now that the college volleyball tournament is switching from dedicated hosts to higher-seed hosts starting this year. It's just that they're in a rough patch right now, even though they're still fighting.
They have a busy week coming up, but at least the three matches they're playing will all be at the Sports Pavilion: Rutgers tonight (Friday night), the big one against Penn St. tomorrow (Saturday) night, then Indiana Wednesday night.
#-4: Vikings (Re-Entry!). Congratulations to the 1972 Miami Dolphins. Mercury Morris, pop that champagne, for there won't be an undefeated NFL team this year, either. Seems that only five wins before losing is early. Anyway, the Vikes were the Last Team Standing, and they were little competition at Philadelphia Sunday.
I'm not going to throw the baby out with the bathwater yet. The club faced a pretty game defense. The Eagles scored a Touchdown on Special Teams. And there were a few turnovers, from Sam Bradford and, surprisingly, Marcus Sherels off a punt. But finally, the Vikings' offensive line has been exposed as incapable. (Aside: Minnesota's OL was ranked as one of the best last year, largely because there was relatively little turnover in the ranks compared to other teams. Vikings fans seemed to be the only people who knew that those advanced metrics were a lie.) Matt Kalil is only the most notable of a raft of injuries that have ravaged this team. Meanwhile, besides Alex Boone, there have been no new additions to the line. So, coming into this season the OL was as bad as it's been recently, and now people are hurt. Bradford was able to get the ball out of his hands before his reinforcements fell around him, but not against Philadelphia. Combined with the fact that the running game has yet to get on track (a relatively minor weakness seeing that this has become a passing league), and he was a sitting duck back there.
As bad as the OL is -- and after the game Head Coach Mike Zimmer wasn't having any excuse for his line, and I loved hearing that -- I am hoping that that will get fixed. Somehow. This is still a good team because of everything else they have, especially the fearsome (and healthy) defense. Plus, even this offensive line should play well at Chicago, which is the Vikes' next opponent. It's the Monday Night game, and therefore it'll be played on Halloween.
#-5: Timberwolves (Re-Entry!). OK, when I heard about the exploits of Karl-Anthony Towns and Andrew Wiggins, especially late in the season when at least Towns "got it" and the team started to gel, and then after I heard Tom Thibodeau had been hired to give this squad a defensive competence they lacked for much of the last season, I really thought the sky was the limit. Britt Robson of MinnPost posted an essay a few days ago that noted this peculiar part of a team's life cycle for the fan: That part where they're young and they finally understand the speed and the serious of the professional league, and now it's, "Watch the fuck out, we're comin'." That anticipation -- the days before the dynasty (Lord willing) -- is the best part of being a fan of a team, Robson attests, and he's totally right.
I was ready to say that 50 wins should be expected from the T-Wolves. I still think that's not too much to ask. But as I cast about for predictions, most writers and number-crunchers think that's a pipe dream. Wins in the forties, mostly, although I think I saw one as low as 36. That can't be right, right? The ceiling for this team is a lower-rung playoff spot. Maybe it should be a given.
Well, after hearing the end of the Woofie Dogs' loss to The Bastard Vancouver Grizzlies in Memphis, maybe they're right. The same lack of clutch shooting and defensive stops (minus KAT, of course -- everybody's saying that he's the next NBA superstar, and thank Buddha the Wolves got him) that infected this team ever since its youth movement began lo so many years ago has started up for the 2016-7 season. They were in a touch-and-go ending, and in the end, the Wolves went belly-up. Gorgei (sp.?) Deng missing both free throws near the end there was a killer. Yeah, I understand they're young, but this shit's getting old. Forget winning basketball ... will this team play with common sense?
This week: At Sacramento in this spiffy new Golden 1 Center (what kind of company is Golden 1?), then home to these same Grizzlies and Denver.
#-6: Gopher men's hockey (Re-Entry!). Ah, shit, here we go again. If this team is supposedly good enough to be ranked, I would like to think they would, at the very least, split their home-and-home vs. St. Cloud St. But instead, they lose in Overtime, 6-5, Friday at Mariucci Arena, then drop a 3-2 decision to the Huskies the next night in St. Cloud. Yeah, they were one-goal games, but horseshoes and grenades and dancing. And this is supposed to be the best team in the B1G? That means that, once again, the B1G is nothing but a low-major conference in men's hockey.
The athletic department website is kind of making a big deal out of the fact that this weekend, they are going to the state of New York to play for the first time in 13 years -- and that was when they won the 2003 NCAA title in Buffalo. They'll be around the upstate part of the Empire State as well this time -- tonight (Friday night) they play Clarkson, a program the U. last played in 1993, and tomorrow (Saturday) night they play St. Lawrence, a program the U. last played in 1998.
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