Going through my work -- steady as it still is, even though the stress level is as low as it's ever been -- I forgot that I have not been extended past Christmas Eve. And even though I think there is a lot of work left to be done, and I could be used for some time after next week, my boss has been fairly vigilant in telling my temp agency if he needs me around more. It's possible that he has simply forgot; he is still busy and could have put any possible extension into the back of my mind. But maybe not.
I realized this last night and today: Frankly, a part of me just expects to be around for a little while longer. I have to disabuse myself of that notion, because all I really know is that I still go to work through Wednesday. After that, and someone will have to let me know. I think that next week's going to come around, I hear nothing different, and then suddenly ... oh, I'm done here. Well, OK, bye. And the end of work (and the beginning of unemployment) will hit me like a ton of bricks. I'll have to go through a lot of therapy in that case.
I have to be more realistic about this. I should be looking for work. I should be saving money. I'm doing neither, because frankly, I think I'm just expecting to be at work for a while. Boy am I going to get a bitch of a wake-up call.
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There's one other temp there. The other of The Two. I don't know about him. He would seem to be a guy I would like in an environment other than this. If we were, say, neighbors, I could see us chatting it up from time to time passing each other at the grocery store or a bar. But at work, he's kind of an uptight pissant. Today he told me that he to give me something because "he doesn't do it." He doesn't? Oh, like that ain't your thing, man?? I think I know what he meant; he wasn't trained in it, and I'm the only other person around, so I have to do it once he's done doing what he has to do with it. Still, that choice of words rubs me the wrong way. Maybe he thinks that saying he "doesn't" do it is better than saying he "can't" do it. You know, some people don't like hearing that they don't know how to do something, and that maybe personal taste is something more palatable to tell someone. Not to me, but I think I talked myself into giving him the benefit of the doubt.
Nah, I still can take him or leave him. You see, I think that technically his extension is also through the 24th only. So, as far as I know, we're both done at the same time. It's not the worst thing, I guess, but honestly, I thought that with my position and tenure, I would be the Last Temp Standing, and it looks like I won't be.
This temp, he's been working right next to my boss. I don't think he likes him being able to literally look over his shoulder to see what he's doing. That's a break to my benefit, and possibly a perk for being at this project for so long. But it also gives him the opportunity to show my boss close-up what he's willing and capable of doing. And I'm not sure about this, but this temp's gruff attitude might be something he actually likes. He might see him shuffling around, muttering to himself, being curt with the other employees, and go, "Yeah, that's the kind of go-get-'em attitude I want to see!"
In fact, I still wouldn't be surprised if I get cut before him. It's possible my boss likes him more than he likes me. Plus there's the added advantage that he works for less than I do. While there is much still left to be done, he would largely let me/us go because it would save the company money. And the company would still save money if he stays and I go. That would be a raw deal, but that's life, too.
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Man, I don't like waking up in the mornings during the winter, but if next week is indeed it, the abrupt change is going to suck. And to lose my job just before Christmas?! What fucked-up timing!
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