#-1: Wrestling (Re-Entry!). Very polarized survey this week. Very weak bottom half, but the top three squads went undefeated for the week. I am choosing the Gopher wrestling team, even though they ripped through outclassed Michigan and Michigan St. teams because 1) the doubts that linger for the next two teams are greater than the ones for this team, at least for now; and 2) they got both of their wins on the road. Friday's win against the Spartans was a come-from-behind affair, where they needed to win their last two matches to win the overall war. They get to come home for two bouts this week, however they're against two ranked Big Ten squads: 12th-ranked Wisconsin Friday, and 25th-ranked Purdue (for their inaugural [?] Endowment Meet) Sunday afternoon.
#-2: Wild (Last Week: -9). This doesn't change the fact that they're still on the outside looking in in the Western Conference playoff race, but things do look a bit brighter after their recent swoon with a 3-0 week. Home cookin' still does wonders for this team, but they managed to follow up those victories against Columbus and Detroit with a tense 1-0 win over the Bastard Quebec Nordiques, where Martin Havlat tipped in the only tally about five minutes into the third period. At this moment they sit in 10th place in the conference, but only three points out of 7th. They're on the road for two more, conference- (and NHL-)leading San Jose and the Team That Was Stolen From Us, then come home Thursday to face the worst team in the league, Edmonton.
#-3: Gopher women's hockey (Last Week: -4). I don't want to downplay or denigrate their 5-0 combined sweep of North Dakota at Ridder last weekend but: Ho-hum, let's see 'em actually win a title. Goalie Noora Räty was named WCHA Defensive Player Of The Week for the fourth time this year for turning aside 37 shots in both games, so that is something that stands out. They finish their homestand with a pair against MSU-Mankato.
#-4: Gopher men's basketball (Last Week: -7). I was at Tuesday night's win against Northwestern. Glad they won, glad it was a close game, but the times and circumstances where they fell behind showed that this team has a lot of weaknesses. They fell behind at the beginning of the game because the Wildcats were making it rain in The Land Of Three-Pointers and the Gophs weren't switching fast enough on defense. Northwestern cooled down, though, allowing the Gophers to come back by pounding it inside. In the second half the Wildcats switched to a zone, and that absolutely stymied the team and allowed NU to come back from an eight-point halftime lead. Finally the Gophs got several steals, and Blake Hoffarber just went nuts from outside, to take back the lead for good. Hoffarber was 5-for-8 from three and finished with 20 points. Did you know he's second in three-point shooting in the country?
That doesn't completely make up for their heart-breaking, soul-crushing defeat to Michigan St. Saturday. They led by as many as 13 with a minute-plus gone in the second half, but the sixth-ranked Spartans came all the way back, and with 87 seconds left, Kalin Lucas, defending Big Ten Conference Player Of The Year, drained a three that gave MSU the lead for good. A dribble drive by Lawrence Westbrook, who became the 35th player in Gopher men's b-ball history to score 1,000 points in this game, came up short at the buzzer, and the team lost at home for the first time all season. This one hurt; they could've used this one, and they had it, only to let go of that bolt of lightning.
Only one game this week: at Evan Turner, leading candidate for Big Ten Conference Player Of The Year this year, and Ohio St. Sunday afternoon.
#-5: Swarm (Last Week: -1). Every team from here on down went winless for the week. It's only by numbers that the lacrosse team, which lost their only game this week (at home to Colorado in OT), is the best of the lousiest. They will try and turn that around at Buffalo Saturday; the Bandits are a shocking 0-4.
#-6: Gopher women's basketball (Last Week: -8). This team is in danger of slipping into the bottom half of the Big Ten, and even though I haven't seen any of the bracketology projections, I'm going to go out on a limb and say that right now they're on the outside looking in on the NCAA Tournament after dropping a pair -- of games -- at home to Michigan St. and at Ohio St. The home loss Sunday by nine was bad; the drubbing in Columbus Thursday by 23 is a hell of a lot worse. This is looking more and more like the program it was when the corrupt and incompetent Cheryl Littlejohn was coaching. They have another Sunday-Thursday two-fer this week; thankfully, both are at Williams, against Illinois and Wisconsin.
#-7: Timberwolves (Last Week: -5). An 0-4 abortion of a week, but in other news the sun came up this morning. The sole home loss, a buzzer-beater against New Orleans, was particularly discouraging, and absurd. It was on free TV, and the Wolves managed to come back and tie the game on an and-one by Jonny Flynn with 3.5 seconds to go. After the Bastard Charlotte Hornets called time out, they went to commercial. But in the middle of a spot they jump-cut to the game, in particular a shot of some of the Hornets hugging each other. They made the game-winning shot, a lay-up by James Posey, in the middle of a commercial break. Such a programming fuck-up shouldn't be tolerated on public access TV, but when it comes to the Wolves, it's for the best. They then were forced to hit the road to get their brains beat in by 33 to Milwaukee, 27 to a New York team that were forced to take up their asses the worst home loss in franchise history (by 50 to Dallas), and then by 14 to Cleveland. I don't know, but there's a possibility that they may have given up. The fans certainly have.
Nevertheless I will never reject a free ticket to a sporting event, and that's why I will be going (with the help of a good, very good friend) to tomorrow's (Friday's) game at Target Center. And since they're hosting the L.A. Clippers, and the Woofie Dogs are in the middle of a five-game losing streak, they might win this one. They also host the Knicks this week. This could be a 2-0 week ... if they care.
#-8: Gopher men's hockey (Last Week: -3). I went this team's 4-1 win over Bemidji St. back on Nov. 14, and as I assume they do at all games against teams in the state, Gopher fans shouted "Gopher rejects!" and clap-clap-clapped to make fun of the Beavers. Well, at any time during either game of 12th-ranked St. Cloud St.'s home-and-home sweep of the Gophs last weekend, do you think any of the Huskies fans were shouting "Husky rejects!" Because they should. Because they'd be right. I mean, the Timberwolves lost more games, but how could the only huge state school in Minnesota be whipped -- whipped! -- by a combined 8-4 to a small school 90 minutes to the northeast? It shouldn't happen to a school with a proud tradition as this team supposedly does. I ask again: When will there be more scrutiny on this program? They're at Alaska-Anchorage, traditionally one of the weakest teams in the WCHA. They could sweep this weekend, but since they look so medicore, so what?
#-Infinity: Vikings (Last Week: -2). I'll refer to what I said here. But I will add that this hurts especially because the Vikings, even though they never got to Drew Brees, limited him to about 250 yards of passing. With Leslie Frazier dialing up the perfect defensive scheme, all the offense had to do was fuck up just a tiny bit less than they did. But they did. They gave the ball away too many times, and thus they pissed the game away. And they may not have a team this good next year. Nothing is given to us. Who knows what could happen next year, or the year after? This loss destroys communities.
Whatever, Brett, we know you're coming back mid-August.
And by the way, the tenor of fans' reaction to the loss might change in the wake of Wednesday's appearance by NFL Officiating VP Mike Pereira on the NFL Network admitting the refs in that game should've called a personal foul on the New Orleans Saints on that high-low hit on Brett Favre just after he threw his first stupid interception. A flag would obviously have negated the pick, advanced the Vikes 15 yards and given them the first down. With that, Vikings fans could say that they wuz robbed, and they can join Twins fans in basking in martyrdom. Maybe now there'll be a groundswell for a new stadium -- "We need to give them everything they can because even the fuckin' refs are against us!"
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