So my first lie came Monday (ETA on March 10 that I had saved this blog post for a long time, so long that it wasn't Monday but a date several weeks ago and a date that I can't remember, but yeah, it was on a Monday), when I received a call on my new smartphone from my aunt and uncle. They invited me out to dinner the next night because they thought, probably, that I am eating out every day and could use the free food. I, however, did not tell them that my parents had already come home and I am eating well, too well. They still wanted me to come out anyway. My aunt just wanted me to not tell my folks that I am eating out with them. I totally understand; when I emerged from my bedroom and met them back at the dinner table, I told them my friend at the radio station surprisingly asked me out. (Oh yeah ... in case you don't know, I don't work at a radio station anymore. Haven't worked in one since 2001.)
We had Chinese. Oh shit. I'm OK with Chinese, but I eat it so often that there's a chance that the place we go to is a place I've been to. And since my parents had a business delivering to Chinese restaurants around the area, there's a chance, a very good chance, that the place I went to was a place my folks did business with. Moreover, there was a chance that I had eaten at this place. And since it would be a place I'd be eating without my parents, it would be very, very awkward.
And so it was. In fact it's a Chinese place fairly close to us. The owner was there and recognized me, as well as my aunt and uncle and cousin. Probably didn't think anything was hinky because on our way out he said to tell my parents he says hi. Here I have to confess: I just assume that Chinese people are paranoid, about anything. Applied in this situation, I was somewhat surprised that he didn't think that it was weird I was eating at his place without my parents. Maybe I shouldn't feel that way. Maybe the only Chinese paranoid people I know are family, and me.
I guess I should've just nodded and said I will, but that meant the next time the owner of the restaurant sees them, he'll tell them about the time I ate there with my aunt and uncle and cousin, and my parents will get mad and there'll be hell to pay once I get home. So to explain that I asked him if he could keep a secret and not tell them I'm here. Yeah, like that'll work. I'm pretty sure he was thinking, "What the hell are you talking about?"
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While driving there we went back to discussing my parents coming back home. I think it was my uncle, who was driving, who was surprised that they came home so early; I think he told me, either during this drive to the restaurant or a conversation we had some time ago, that Father told him (they're brothers) that they'll be away for a long time.
"Well," I said, "They had to come back from Europe some time."
"Europe?" my uncle asked. "I thought they were in Vegas."
Fuck!
I don't remember if my uncle told me that Father told him that he'd be in Vegas for the winter, or if I told my uncle that. See, that's why I hate lying: I have to keep track of them, and I'm the worst at organizing anything, let alone lies.
I may have let out a small "shit" while looking out the passenger-side window thinking way to cover my ass after my mistake. What to do? I hedged. I had to tell them the truth, that they were visiting my sister who lives with my brother-in-law in Switzerland (although, like with the owner of the Chinese restaurant, I swore him to secrecy). But during dinner I told my cousin's wife's parents that they spent some time in Las Vegas over the winter, too. Saying that probably confused my aunt and uncle, but I had to hold onto the lie that I think I or My Father told my uncle. Or ... well, fuck, I don't know what I was thinking. All these lies have caught up to me, and once I lost track they came tumbling down on my head.
I don't know how close my aunt and uncle are to my parents. Although they are brothers, I'm fairly certain they do not talk to each other. From time to time My Father gives me something to give to my uncle. We live close to each other, and neither of them work anymore, so My Father could easily drive there to see him. But I'm sure he hasn't seen his face or even spoken to him in months. Therefore, I think my secret is safe with him. On the other hand, my aunt, even though I know My Father doesn't like her and Mother may or may not like her, likes them, or at least is gossipy enough to tell them everything. (I'm not sure I can take her asking me not to tell my folks I'm eating with them for dinner at face value; it'd be her, not my uncle, who I think would blab about dinner with me to them.) So, I could be totally overreacting to things, but I also have reason to believe my parents will eventually find out I had dinner behind their backs, so to speak, and then there would be hell to pay once they do.
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I'm supposed to have lunch with them -- aunt, uncle, cousin, his wife, and her parents -- again Saturday afternoon. Probably will be at the same Chinese place. More hiding and not telling. But hey, in for a penny, in for a pound. Besides, they offered to take me out for lunch this Saturday when I stopped by there to drop of my aunt's plastic container and a book of my sister and brother-in-law's wedding, so I'm not paying for it.
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