I knew I couldn't do this. I knew I couldn't be a leader. I had other things I needed and wanted to do, and I thought things were going smoothly but I had to wait until I got the OK. The ball wasn't in my court, alright, it wasn't!
So now that I get the go-ahead to signing people up for this charity -- or at least I thought I had to wait, I don't know now! -- I see that there is no room for the date that I need. How did this happen? And more importantly, what the fuck do I do now?
I have no idea. I simply have no fucking clue. I have to talk to this person to basically beg for my goddamn life to squeeze me in, somehow. But that might take money -- no, seriously, that might take money.
My back-up plan ... well, it's shit, but I don't think I have any other choice. Everybody hated what we did last year, but we might have to go back to this.
Oh, I am so fucked.
I had no idea. Couldn't this thing be done a month in advance? Are these things supposed to be done more than a month in advance? I have no fucking clue.
Facing people ... now, that's the worst part. I don't want to hear what they'll say about me, God. But I am their leader, and I have to talk to them to see what we do next.
What's worst is the fellow board member. I had to tell him what's going on, and he texted me with this: "I thought this was already booked." Oh my God, did you think I already booked this? I sent in the proposal, but I couldn't do anything until they gave their approval. Or I think. Oh my God, I don't know. Did I say that I booked it already? I don't know, I don't think so, but I don't know.
What the fuck I going to do?
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