Monday, May 26, 2014

White Trash Lawn? Ghetto Lawn?

Oh, I know what I can write about -- the front lawn!

It's a haphazard fucking mess.  The late, long winter delayed all of us from trimming our lawns till this month.  Then I remained busy while my parents were away.  Finally, about a couple weeks ago, the grass got so long even I couldn't ignore it, so it was time for me to take out an afternoon to cut it.  But on a day before she left, probably a couple weeks ago, Mother told me she just put grass seed down on the front lawn.  You're not supposed to cut the grass with the seeds on the grass for a few weeks so they can take root and get stronger.  So either I say fuck it and cut the grass, seedlings be damned, or I wait until the seeds turn into blades of grass while the rest of the lawn grows a foot long.  I still don't know why in the hell Mother decided to do this.  Stupid.

At the end, I decided to split the difference and thus succeed in neither getting all the grass cut nor saving the grass seeds.  The forecast called for rain starting on Sunday (although as I write this I have not seen a drop lately) and the grass was at least a foot tall, as tall as I have ever seen the lawn (although the back lawn was a lot shorter).  Plus I knew that the lawnmower was going to have a hell of a hard time cutting it, but waiting would not make it any easier.  So I had to cut it on Saturday.

Well, I kind of cut it.  The mower truly had a difficult time.  Not only was the grass long, it captured all the moisture from the days it rained, so the clippings regularly clogged the side chute that I use on the mower.  I had to idle the mower about a dozen times and get a branch and stick it in that chute to force all the slimy green crap out of it so it could cut and not, I don't know, jam and explode in front of me.  It gets clogged, but never before have I had to clear that thing 12 times.

And it really didn't work, because when I stopped the mower when I thought I was finally done with the front lawn, I looked behind and to the side of me and saw that there were skinny lines of long grass still standing tall in the wind.  They're everywhere, probably survivors of the lawnmower blade when it got too clogged with clippings and wasn't able to swing through.  I should have restarted the mower and took care of it, but I already had to look forward to bringing the gas can in because it was totally empty, plus I had the rear lawn to take care of, plus, well, I was lazy and tired.  I figured I'd go through the entire lawn a second time in a few days -- maybe Wednesday, when ***e* comes over and cleans the house, and me.

But between now and then I have this eyesore of what looks like the workings of a drunk guy who mowed his yard.  What do you call it, white trash or ghetto?  Probably neither; I'm certain poor white and black folks would be smart and aware enough to completely mow the lawn, no matter how tall the grass is.  I, on the other hand, do not care, at least not right now.  So I'll deal with any supposed looks from guys driving or biking or walking their dog past our house and thinking, "What the hell kind of a mow job is that?"

Oh, and I probably blew away all the grass seeds while mowing.  No new grass, old grass not entirely mowed yet -- yeah, that's my life right now.

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