My Daily Post-Work Bathroom Run At The Mall Store

Since beginning this project down in the south metro, I have decided to wait for the hellish south metro traffic to pass me by, instead biding my time at Eden Prairie Center until about 6 or so.  When I leave by then, the knots up 169 have mostly been untangled.  I have never been in stop-and-go traffic once doing this since the project began.  It makes me wonder if in fact I am waiting too long, and maybe whether the roads will be just as clear if I go north on 169 straight away from work.

But I won't change, largely because I don't want to give up what I enjoy right now, not even if I try for just one day.  I have this down to a routine by now: Take a left from work, go to 169, get off just below the loop, take the three rotaries (I love turnabouts!) to Eden Prairie Center, park at the ground level of the ramp so my car's in the shade, maybe take a nap, then go to the store closest to the ramp, take a right to the men's bathroom, take the left, non-handicapped stall (with the thankfully low walls) and sit on the toilet.

It has become a ritual, all this, especially the sitting on the toilet part.  Because after I leave work one of the first urges I have is to relax and take a shit.  I usually thumb through my phone for messages.  Keep trying to get wi-fi through the bathroom walls, but this mall apparently doesn't have wi-fi.  So I sit and wait until my scatological urge passes me by.

I've done this virtually every day since the day after my night project ended.  It's probably gotten to the point where the people who work at this anchor mall know who I am and can even tell at around what time I come in.  Do they question what I do?  Will they send the mall cops after me?

I have only two more weeks of this.  After Memorial Weekend starts, I'm done with this place because I'm done travelling so far down there because I'll be done with the project.  I could probably count on one hand the number of times I've been to Eden Prairie Center before work down there began.  My first time, I think, was a long time ago, back when a movie complex was attached to it.  I received two Entertainment Weekly passes to see the pilot episode of House on the big screen.  I brought my sister along.  We both hated it, and I could tell that Gregory House would be an insufferable asshole I would want to spend no time being around.  But, yes, that was the first time I went to Eden Prairie Center.  So that's a memory for ya.

Oh, BTW, even though I go into the bathroom, I've never actually taken a dump.  I usually just sit and wait for nothing to come out.  That is, until today, when something actually did come out.  It was a byproduct of the combined diarrhea and constipation attack I had when I woke up this morning.  Might blog about it at some point.