Expenses Without Receipts

From Thursday, July 16:

• I had to get a grip on my expenses; I have yet to reconcile the month of June.  I need space and time to do that, so I'm at Caffetto, where ... I have yet to get around to reconciling it.  I've been here almost 90 minutes and I haven't done it quite yet.  Whoops.  Chocolate cake, small mocha, tip: $7.50.
• On Sunday the 12th I started my day off at Hooters, where all of a sudden I was the belle of the ball.  I have a receipt, but I am going to add the total amount, including tip ... well, because it's my list and my blog and I decided to bend the rules: $19.
• After going into my car to take a post-beer nap, I went to Caffetto to work on arranging and writing down receipts for the month of June.  Another way to beat the heat; thank goodness Caffetto closed its front door and opened up the fan.  Iced mocha plus tip equaled: $5.
• After that I went to My Favorite Stripclub (Non-Cover Version), just so I wouldn't be a stranger.  Weird vibe.  The first girl I tipped was new, and I suddenly was afraid that she'd reject my $2 tip and say that "It's $5 here," not knowing that I've been going to this place since she was a girl with very initial inklings about taking her clothes off for money.  Then I tipped this girl who I thought was cool with getting two bucks and she said she would rather have five.  That's when I thought I should just take off.  The waitress there didn't get me coffee; she instead played games.  Didn't mind, I was there for barely 20 minutes: $4.
• Finally ended my Sunday at Dairy Queen.  It was finally time to use that free kid's cone coupon on the hottest day of the year.  Then I thought I might as well as the folks if they wanted any, which they did, namely two small strawberry sundaes: $5.76
• On Saturday the 11th I exercised.  For the summer the community center is closed Friday evenings and all day Sunday.  If I keep complaining about this gut, maybe it's time to get back into working out.  Admission is: $3.
• And while there I think I found a dime on the floor.  An Infusion of: 10 cents.
• Back to Wednesday, July 8 ... Went out to Caffetto because my computer wasn't working.  I thought it was the fault of our slow modem.  Turns out I needed to flush my DNS cache, whatever that means.  Mocha plus tip: $3.50.
• Sunday the 5th, and boy, was my Independence Weekend busy -- first up, I went to the Mall of America because ... just because.  Wanted to eat there, but not at Hooters because I just wanted to go somewhere different.  I was going through my mental Rolodex trying to figure out if there was a place I wanted to go to, and eventually I remembered looking at a logo of a place I haven't even tried yet: The Meatball House.  Didn't think meatballs would be the prime food item for a fast food place, but I gave them a shot.  They are one of the few restaurants on the North side of the Megamall still open; a massive chunk of that area is being renovated right now, so only The Meatball House and A&W I think are places where you can eat fast and cheap.  Anyway I tried the Meatball House.  They were manned by a Korean family a little too happy to be working at a joint like that.  The lady took one look at me and said, "You want the special!"  Uh, sure.  And I got the special, which was two meatballs, a small side order of spaghetti and a Coke in a cup that passed for regular back in the fifties.  I actually appreciate the small portion of food, but I'm American, so I still feel a little burned over how much I paid for the meal, which was: $7.50.
• After that I went to the Minneapolis Institute of Art.  The second of three world-famous paintings being loaned to MIA, a Raphael (?), is on display.  I tried to snap a picture, but I was told not to.  Afraid I took it anyway because I took a photo of the first loaner painting, a Vermeer.  Will I get stopped before I snap a picture of the third loaner later in the year, thereby preventing me from getting all three?  Shit, can't let that happen.  But how can I do it?  Anyway, I left a donation: $1.
• Before going to watch the Women's World Cup final I wanted to tool around the Internet, so I spent an hour or so at Caffetto.  Got this thing called Leninade, which was some sweet local pop product made by Communists.  Or something.  It wasn't bad.  Does that make me a commie?  Plus tip: $3.50.
• Like I did with the final in 2011, I went to the Nomad Pub to see the U.S. women win the WWC for the third time.  There were a hell of a lot more people watching this game than the one four years ago, which should be an indication of how popular women's soccer (and soccer in general) has become.  Also good to see that there was no Somali contingent rooting for Japan this time around.  Man, that pissed me off then.  Surly beers were on special for all soccer games, so I got a Hell.  With tip: $5.
• To celebrate and watch post-match coverage, I went to My Favorite Late-Night Italian Place for supper.  Dinner-sized salad, chicken wild rice soup, tip came out to: $9.50.
• Friday the 3rd was my federally-mandated day off.  Felt good not to tell my parents that.  So they didn't get all bent out of shape when I woke up later in the morning and went to Caribou.  Mocha, cookie, tip: $6.
• Took advantage of a free weekday to go to My Favorite Stripclub (Non-Cover Edition) to look at some tits.  One of the girls there was ****a, who I was going to meet later in the afternoon for some one-on-one handjobbin'.  But there was another girl there, Katie, that razzed me for not tipping on stage.  She's a five-buck girl, and I don't tip five bucks.  To compromise, however, I told I would give her $20 for a lap dance.  With coffee and tips: $27.
• Then I went to Caffetto (been there a lot!) to spend my afternoon just as I spent my morning at Caribou: On the computer.  I was all coffeed out, so I got this thing called Route 66 cream soda to go along with a slice of apple pie.  With tip it equaled: $7.
• Then I went to see ****a.  Was afraid she's stand me up, but a half-hour later she got there and serviced me: $120.
• That night I went to a party and, well, I'm still very upset that I pissed away: $15.
• On Thursday, July 2nd I went to Caffetto to celebrate the long weekend.  Iced mocha plus tip sums to: $5.
• OK, jump back to Saturday, June 27.  Went to Dunn Bros. for a change of pace from Caribou.  Only got an oatmeal.  Have the receipt for it, but I have it here because of the tip, and I figure I might as well put the entire amount here: $3.25.
• Went to the local flower shop.  I had not seen ... a friend of mine at ... the cemetery yet this year.  I should have gone sooner, but I'm making up for lost time.  Normally I get two single flowers, and I try to mix them up.  But one of the flowers I got this time around was really expensive.  I'm not sure that my friend would really want that.  Whatevs: $7.50.
• After going there and back, I went to Quizno's.  Used a coupon; haven't been there in a while.  With tip: $7.67.
• After sitting on our driveway for more than a month, I finally got the old car washed at Central.  I have the receipt for the was itself, so the amount I put down reflects only the tip.  Yeah, yeah, for some of the other expenses above the amount reflects the whole charge, not just the tip, even though I have the receipt for that charge.  Hey, it's my blog.  Besides, I ain't that organized.  Like I said, tip only: $3.
• I then went to My Favorite Stripclub (Non-Cover Version).  Got a dance from Kyan, possibly the stripper who has been there the longest since I tripped over the place oh-so-long ago.  With tips and a Sprite: $31.
• My God, I was busy this day ... I went to Brit's Pub to take in some Women's World Cup action.  I'm flip-flopping what I did with Central Car Wash above; I'm putting down the whole amount of what I ate and drank, purchase amount and tip, even though I have a receipt.  Like I said, sue me: $10.25.
• Bought lottery tickets at the gas station before I came back home.  There, their money paying me back for those tickets was on the sill.  (I'm not putting down the price of the tickets because I got a receipt for them at the gas station.)  An Infusion of: $7.
• After dinner I went out to work out.  The first time in a long time I exercised in the evening.  They say you should do it in the morning, but I should do it at night more often.  I don't have time other hours of the day, and at night I can work off the food my parents gave me for dinner and jump-start what could have been a sedentary day for me.  I was so thirsty that I do something that's rare for me: I bought a Powerade from one of the vending machines.  That plus admission equal: $4.50.
• After that I put on all the weight I worked off at My Favorite Late-Night Italian Place for a non-Italian salad and soup.  With tip it comes out to: $9.50.
• Finally, I had four shiny quarters, two shiny dimes and three shiny pennies I wanted to preserve.  This day I was looking through all the coins burning a hole in my back pocket and noticing how pristine they all were.  I couldn't part with any of them, and one of the dimes was minted in 2012.  Maybe I could relax a little, but I'm a packrat when it comes to shiny coins: $1.23.
• Go back to Tuesday, June 23, where I decided to skip dinner in order to see Jurassic World and see if it was worth being the film with the biggest opening weekend in history.  All I can say is that it's a good popcorn movie.  Chris Pratt and Bryce Dallas Howard have a quasi-Bogart-and-Hepburn-in-The African Queen-type of relationship.  Popcorn, pop, and an extra-special discounted ticket (even though I was watching on a weeknight) because I came on a special sweet spot where the tickets are just $5, and it all totals: $9.
• Sunday the 21st: Went to Five Watt Coffee for the second straight day because I was hypnotized by the vibe, the popularity, and hot babes that live in the Kingfield neighborhood.  I should hang out in this area more often.  They have a special drink called the "Kingfield," and I charged it on the credit card.  So this amount reflects the tip on that drink as well as a tip for the organ player entertaining the packed house with gospel music as part of the house's "Sunday Service" brunch: $2.
• In the afternoon I stopped by My Favorite Stripclub (Non-Cover Edition) for tips.  Only time I was there that week, I think: $4.
• On Saturday the 20th I ventured a little out of my comfort zone and went to the place that City Pages said had the best donuts in the Twin Cities, Bogart's.  They are damn good.  Two drawbacks: I wish I could have sat instead of standing along the rail while the line of people pushed past me; and they need to find a milk company that has cartons with better straws than the one I got.  The straw, I think, had a cozy.  With tip: $8.
• OK, the real reason I was into the Kingfield neighborhood was because I needed to give these mechanics the wheel lock for my car because they determined they needed to replace the brakes.  I was free that morning, and it's a hip area, so I might as well enjoy myself while doing this errand.  So that's why I went to Bogart's.  It was also convenient for me to visit Grandmother at the cemetery.  And it gave me a chance to go to this Five Watt Coffee for the first time.  I tried their cold press during the Twin Cities Donut Crawl, and I was impressed with their lively set-up.  Had drip coffee which was as good as any other drip coffee I've had.  What was more impressive, though, were the hot babes that spent their morning there.  Yow!  With tip: $4.
• Needed to find a place that sold flowers to give to Grandmother at the cemetery.  On Google Maps the closest place was Petersen's Flowers.  Unfortunately they didn't have any single flowers -- just bunches, and the flowers weren't totally open.  Feel kind of ripped off after spending, I think: $6.47.
• That evening I went with a friend and a couple of his friends for wrestling at First Avenue.  Wild stuff.  Got a Pabst Blue Ribbon.  With tip: $5.
• I got my friend's ticket for this event when I went to the Twins game in the afternoon.  He didn't have enough singles to completely pay me back, so even though I feel like a dick, he still owes me a buck.  Nonetheless this is an Infusion of: $21.
• Friday, June 19 was the week where I was inbetween jobs, so there was a lot of shit I did to spend my time.  I was able to schedule a session with my psychiatrist, so I started off this day at the Starbucks nearby.  Mocha plus tip: $4.
• This was the day where I was trying to arrange some girl to give me a handjob, but no one did.  I spent the afternoon where I would have gotten some sexy time at Diamonds Cafe, cashing in on the discount the very nice man gave me because what I ordered the visit previous wasn't exactly what they had.  I was hungry enough to order a full lunch: A club sandwich.  With Coke and tip, minus the certificate, I spent: $5.95.
• On Thursday the 18th I spent the morning at Caribou.  Mocha, cookie, tip: $6.25.
• Then I went to the Twins game, where they hosting the St. Louis Cardinals (one of my two favorite teams in the National League) for the first time, I think, ever.  Great game: Twins won 2-1, where all three runs were scored on solo Home Runs.  The game ended on Kennys Vargas's moon ball to right in the bottom of the ninth.  Anyway, the most taxing part was getting in line at the commuter rail line station.  There was enough of a line, and enough bumblers who didn't understand technology, that I was in serious danger of not getting a ticket before stepping onto the train.  Fortunately the train was late -- which I hear happens fairly often.  So I had time to get my ticket and be legitimate.  In retrospect, maybe it would have been better and cheaper to park downtown.  Oh, well; at least I could say I did this at least once, and it was nice not to drive my car out of the neighborhood for one day.  Ticket for the train, ticket for the game (scalpers were giving me no break this day), hot dog and a souvenir-sized Coke: $36.50.
• I then went to the Depot, First Ave's restaurant arm, to get those tickets to the wrestling show for my friend and I.  Since I had time before the commuter rail was going back, I sat to have their famous Diamond Dog.  Big and crunchy, but tasty.  Water only.  With tip it came out to: $54.50.
• Wednesday, June 17: Started off the day at Caribou.  Mocha and tip, no cookie: $5.
• This was a day where I had a focus group to go to.  They asked me to bring something sweet I eat when I have a craving.  I don't really have a go-to, and I really didn't give a shit about the dessert because all I wanted was the gift card that I got for participating.  But since the focus group met a bit after lunch, I decided to have lunch at the nearest Dairy Queen, where I would get a hot fudge sundae.  My family used to get sundaes all the time; that's why I selected that.  With lunch, which was a burrito wrap, which I got wind that DQ sold in a DQ-focused focus group (I was given these new food items the restaurant is thinking of selling, and one of them was these burrito wraps, which they then told us they already sell -- tricky!) it totaled: $5.36.
• I was able to catch some World Cup games after the focus group.  Went to the Nomad for it because I could always find a free space to park close by on weekdays.  I drove through a sudden hard rainstorm to get there, but it was worth it.  Surly products were on sale during WWC games, so I tried the Blakker for the first time, and with most Surly beers, it's an acquired taste, but I'll try and acquire it.  With tip: $5.

I think I am good through Thursday, July 16.