So My Mask Masterpiece Is ... Not

So I did buy the mask with the public domain blood tear.  But I had a devil of a time positioning the tear.  You know, it only would make sense if the tear came down an eye, know what I mean?  But how could I know where the tear should be if, frankly, I didn't have a precise picture of me wearing the mask so I would know where the tear should be placed?

Vistaprint either had someone or an algorithm take my suggestions and concerns -- "Can you make the blood tear smaller?"  "Can you put the tear one inch closer to the ear?" -- and an e-mail would come, in short order, with the tear smaller, sometimes, and an inch closer to the ear, sometimes.  At some point I ran into a wall.  I could imagine where my eyes would be while wearing this disembodied mask I see on my screen, but I got back so many places where the tear was on the mask that I figured that one of them was "right," I just didn't know for sure which one.  So I picked one.

On Wednesday it came.  I tore open (impressive, Vistaprint!) the packet, unfolded the mask, saw the tear, went up to my mirror, took a deep breath, and put it on.  And ... I don't think the blood tear is in the right place.  Well, for one thing, although it looks as though the tear is below the left eye, it barely is.  Moreover, the tear is in the middle of the mask, and that looks way too low and far from the eye to make it look as though I have cried a tear of blood, which was my idea all along.

So, no.  Frankly, it doesn't look as cool as I wanted it to look.  And if I walk around with it in public, I think I'll be embarrassed because people will look at me and go, "Huh?"  But I have to tell you this: I have felt the Vistaprint mask, and it feels like a cloud!  It may not look good, but honestly, I want to wear this mask because it'll feel so silky good on my face.  I have heard great things about Vistaprint masks (and it has a filter pocket, too), so I think that if I am out on my own one night this winter to, like, just walk or something, I'll wear it.  It'll feel so good, and hopefully people won't point at the misplaced blood tear and go, "What the hell is that?!"