Anti-Masker Fantasy

So there a couple of fuckin' dudes, construction dudes, who refused to wear masks while ordering inside Uncle Franky's Thursday afternoon despite there being a sign on the front door saying masks are mandatory when inside.  The next day, I had to step around an anti-masker asshole to get root beer at Culver's.  I thought that dude had left; instead, he was expelling air around the soda pop machine, and now I'm afraid that prick gave me COVID.

I've been harboring this fantasy for a while, and now that there is resistance from a lot of Republicans Trump supporters dumb anti-masker motherfuckers out there to Gov. Walz's mandate to shut bars and restaurants and gyms down for a month -- yeah, like those guys could stand a second taking care of people who are dying from the coronavirus -- I'm going to let my fantasy loose.  It's a revenge fantasy, one where a smart yet docile person -- me -- finally can't stands no more and takes the law into his own hands.

I step into a situation where some person totally freaks out over some employee of a store for telling him or her to wear a mask.  He or she chooses to escalate the situation and begin yelling at and threatening me.  He takes out a gun.  I take out a knife and use my ninja skills to slit his or her wrists, then I break his or her arms, then I take out my gun and shoot him or her until he or she is lying on the ground, unable to move, gasping for air as blood rushes out of her or his mouth.

Then, I grab him or her by the head, shove my pistol into his or her mouth, and I say my catchphrase, something Arnold Schwarzenegger would always say in the movies: "You shoulda worn a mask!"  Then BAM! I kill the anti-masker.

Emboldened after finally popping my killing cherry, I start going on a killing jag, offing all these anti-maskers.  And I'm known for my "You shoulda worn a mask!" catchphrase I yell when I do it, and I come to be a folk hero to all the smart, correct-minded people tired of following the rules and science while other people take it as their birthright to put other people in danger because to them, putting a mask on is tyranny.  T-shirts are printed with my name and likeness on it.  There are memes about me.  The costume I make (oh, I have to make a costume) inspires kids and adults to dress up as me for Halloween.  And my name (yeah, I guess it's too late to come up with a hero nickname, but that's cool) is the one my admirers will name their kids after nine months after all this starts.

How does it end?  Haven't thought of that.  Why do that?  I mean, I'm the hero of my own story -- I'm never gonna die!  Silly rabbit!