Monday, December 19, 2022

I'm Going To Sleep At Fucking 11 P. M.

So it's a bit past eleven in the evening where I'm at right now.  Unlike all the other days in my trip so far, there is nothing scheduled until the late morning tomorrow/Monday.  Moreover, the family dinner ended a bit past 8 tonight/Sunday night.  So an early evening + a late morning = Unforgivable Wetness having a night where I can frolic and get my fuck on ... or watch a movie and/or have a drink by myself.  Right?

WRONG.  I shared some cookies with my brother-in-law, but everybody else I'm staying with, including my bro-in-law and sister, seemed not just content but thrilled to turn in.  And honestly, it's fucking driving me goddamn crazy.  I love my family (although my brother might not care if I live or die), but I'm bored as shit doing every single motherfucking thing with them.  And this is going to go on for another ten fucking days!!!  I'm sorry, I just need some time to myself, where I can do my own thing and I don't have to care about any family "responsibilities."  That doesn't make me a bad person, does it?

Of course, my parents would probably reject the idea of me going out.  Moreover, and this is the much bigger obstacle, it's really difficult to just go out on your own when you don't have your own car and you don't have much faith you can understand the bus system.  My sister and brother-in-law might have dropped me off and picked me up from the movies if I really, really wanted to go.  But like I said, they didn't seem too keen on doing much beyond what we have done with the family today.

And now, the caveats.  First of all, I want to see Violent Night, and there were a couple of screening that started at around 8, which is around the time I got home.  There were a couple in the 9 o'clock hour, but they seemed to be in the suburbs next door to us, and I don't think my siblings would take me that far.  Second of all, yesterday's and today's (Sunday's and Monday's) plans have been or might be altered by these monsoon-ish rains that have poured down on us.  I have been lucky to have enjoyed typical weather for this area (even though the humidity has surprised me a little), but these storms have continued to even now as I type this, so I'm not sure if I want to traipse out in an unfamiliar city on my own just so I could have some alone time.

Thirdly, in a few days we'll be moving over to a resort.  First time I have ever been in one, and apparently, not only are there lots of bars but also a movie theater.  Maybe I can take in Violent Night before Christmas after all.  And finally ... well, I should say that we can back home after an impromptu Sunday brunch and didn't go back out until the mid-afternoon, so we had a break of about four-plus hours where I was able to conk off while listening to NFL Games on satellite radio ... anyway, I shouldn't be tired right now because we didn't do a whole lot of stuff yesterday/Sunday, but I am tired right now.  The movie might have let out by now, or it could be halfway through.  Maybe I'd be too groggy for a movie today.

Or, I might be trying to justify to myself not going out on what might be my last "free" night where I could be by myself.  Anyway, I'm not going anywhere.  I have blog posted this and am burning through my political e-mails from May, so I am being productive.  Still, going to bed at the 11 o'clock hour when I don't have to be up for another ten absolutely, positively sucks.

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