I have been hardcore on OnlyFans ever since I listened to the devils of my worse nature and turned over my credit card. After spiraling into a porn binge some days, where I was just racking up the charges, I tried to bargain with myself into treating them like rewards for being good. The things I had rewarded myself for "being good," however, were really low, and I mean pathetically low, bars to reach, stuff like, "Haven't paid for porn in a week," or, "Had a tough day at work." I'll be honest, there's a chance I might revert to that again some day in the future.
Nevertheless the charges were piling up, taking a big chunk of my paycheck every pay period. I enjoyed it -- well, I enjoyed all the pictures and videos that showed the woman to whom I charged my credit card actually got naked. But it's a hell of an expensive hobby, especially for a person who bought as frequently as I do. That's what happens when you assign a credit card to the website from which you can buy as much porn as your penis desires with a tap on the screen.
If that's the case, then the best thing to happen to me is that my credit card expired. Upon seeing that, I saw a surefire way to break, or at least limit, my (and I hate saying this, but it's probably correct) addiction. I would need to go out of my way to update my card -- if "going out of my way" consisted of getting out of bed, fetching my wallet, taking out my new credit card, inputting its information, getting off the bed again, and putting the wallet back in my pants. As much as I crave porn (and, again, I might fall back into it again at some point), what I don't like is moving once I'm in bed. And those steps, to me, at least right now, is enough of a barrier for me to not put in new credit card information.
So, once my old credit card lapsed, which was around early August, I just ... haven't replaced it. I haven't bought any photos or videos since. I had several subscriptions, and I allowed all of those to expire. I will admit that there are several babes on OF who offer free trial subscriptions, and I have accepted a few of those. But I have so far been able to resist temptation.
Is this being reflected in my wallet? I hope so. But not only have I not inputted info for the the new credit card on OnlyFans, I have gone out of my way not to use that card, period. That is an OCD thing. I don't want to use a new card because it's in a "perfect" state, and I don't feel the need to change anything if I'm, for lack of a better word, OK going about my day without using it. I have activated it, and I used it one day, for buying a ticket to a movie online. (Ah, might as well; it's a Visa, and there are still places that take Visa but not American Express, though I think the number is dwindling.) But I think that was early last month, and I have not used it since, and I'm proud of myself for that. I'm racking up the charges on my other credit card, and that's reason enough to begin using this new one. But I want to at least wait one full credit card cycle before going back to using it again. I think I still have my Visa statements mailed to me, and I want to go one whole month without them sending a statement because there is no statement for Visa to mail. Maybe I'll wait till Halloween, or even Thanksgiving, if I can help it.
In the meantime, since I am not allowing myself to buy porn on OF, I haven't been on OF a whole lot. I drop in on occasion to see if any of the women on the free accounts flash their boobs or record themselves getting penetrated. But not being able to easily pay for porn has curtailed my visits. I think that's a good thing, and I think my wallet as well as my psyche will begin to heal -- at least for a bit, at least until I feed my porn addiction again.
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