My Schedule Couldn't Be Any Worse This Week

For the second time in two weeks, I am seeing a Wednesday night MNUFC Match on a day where I have to report early to work.  Because I now am expected to go into the lab an hour earlier than before, I have to get to work at 6:30, much earlier than I would than if I were in The Third or Fourth Department.  Furthermore, my days where I have to go into the lab is tied to my position as keyer, meaning there is virtually no chance I would stay beyond a shift in that position, which is around 3.  If I were in The Third or Fourth Department, not only would I be able to come into work at 8 (meaning I can get 90 more minutes of rest), I am virtually assured that the work that gets piled onto my desk would be enough to stay so that by the time I am done, it would be time to get to the Match.  (Actually, there's a greater chance that there would be so much work that I would have to leave some till the next day if I wanted to get to the Loons Match on time.)

But for the second time in three Wednesdays, I am facing a gap of 4 1/2 hours between the end of my workday and the Match for which I am a season ticket holder.  That's a hell of a long time to kill.  What could I do?  Sleep would be best, but in the middle of a broiling summer I doubt I will be able to take a good, long nap in my car.  Do I eat when I plan on eating and drinking at the Game?  I can go to the library and get on the Internet, I guess, but for 4 1/2 hours?  That would make me tired enough to go to my car and sleep.

See, two Wednesdays ago, this wasn't a problem.  The Women's EUROS was still going on, and the Copa America Feminina just started.  Once I realized I could watch women's continental soccer, I actually punched out early so that I could drive all the way down to the Black Hart, catch the Second Half of Italy-Norway, see Brazil immolate Bolivia, then still have 90 minutes to kill, so I went back to my car, changed out of my shirt to put on my MNUFC jersey, then try to nap for half an hour before concluding it was useless and just going to the stadium.  If I was tired, I don't remember.

I will not have soccer to watch Wednesday afternoon/evening.  And I do not want to have a drink at a bar for 4 1/2 hours.  This has gotten to be such a pain in the ass that I have decided I can ... no, need to get a massage in that time period.  In situations like this where I am desperate to fill time with something productive, I want to kill two birds with one stone.  I have needed a massage for a long time, and it looks as though this yawning gap Wednesday is the perfect time to do it.  I even am OK going to the one I have been to a couple times in downtown Minneapolis even though I would have to zip across the Twin Cities to do so, then cross back to get to the Match.  But apparently they have no time slots open then.  I just looked at a Reddit thread of best massage places and I saw a couple on the St. Paul side.  The first one I honed in on also appears to not have space this Wednesday (although they have time slots around that time of the day today/Tuesday and Thursday -- what's the deal with Wednesday?)

The other possibility is a massage school, one I have never heard of.  Like I said, I am so desperate to fill up my time that I think I'm going to do it ... even though there's a good chance that some dude who may not know what he's doing is going to rub me down.  Not a fan.  But hey, I need to kill off 4 1/2 hours ... massage away!

So I spent most of Saturday afternoon enjoying life -- having lunch downtown with someone I've been meaning to have lunch with since this summer, then going to see a music festival at a bar, wherein my friend, who I just had lunch with, decided to also come to the music fest, and brought her friend in tow.

It was hot.  Like, ridiculously hot.  Wasn't pleasant to listen to music outside, so even though they just got there, they were ready to leave when I said I planned to leave, too.

I say all of this to bury my main point of this blog post, which is to say that I saw a lot of hot women showing off their skin because it was hot on this day.  My body is breaking down, but I am glad my libido still works!

Where To See The Women's EUROS Final Today/Sunday

I have it down to two places: Brit's in downtown Minneapolis or A Bar Of Their Own in the Seward neighborhood.  I continue to go back and forth on this.

For the last Women's EUROS Final in 2022, I went to Brit's.  ABOTO wasn't around then.  I don't know my thinking, but it's my usual soccer go-to, plus it is a British pub and England was in the Match against Germany (and England won).

I was going to go there, but ... I wanted to see a Group State Game there on a weekend, but they wouldn't open until noon and the Match started at 11 a.m.  I decided not to go out at all.  Conversely, I made it to two concurrent Group State Matches at A Bar Of Their Own.  Not only was the set-up perfect but they had sound.  ABOTO is committed to showing women's sports, and that commitment was in full force.

This past week, when I took time off from work, I went to both places to watch one of the tournament's Semifinals.  I went to Brit's on Tuesday.  Love the set-up and I love the food (although the fries with tikka masala was deceptively huge and heavy).  I kind of wish they would've turned up the volume a tad, but maybe management was worried that most of the people eating there weren't there to see the Match.  I'm certain that won't be the case today/Sunday.

I then went to A Bar Of Their Own on Wednesday.  It may have been that this took place on a weekday afternoon or there was torrential rain pouring outside, but the place was sparse; only several people were there to watch the Match.  But we had the run of the place and we could see and hear it just fine.

The Final starts at 11 a.m.  I am OCD enough that, when one of these places advertised that they would be open at 11 for a Women's EUROS Game that also starts at 11, I wouldn't go.  I want to see the Match from the beginning, and frankly, rushing in at the top of the hour to find a seat and hope the TV is turned on and tuned to the right channel isn't good enough for me.  And I certainly won't accept it for the championship.  That, at least according to both places, won't be a problem; Brit's says they'll open at 10:30.  Meanwhile, before I left, the server said that even though they usually open at 11, they'll open 15 minutes prior so everyone can get situated before Kickoff.

Then, an attractive woman who sat two seats down from me about halfway through the First Half of the Match said, "See you Sunday."  Honestly, that's the deciding factor.  I'm going to Seward.

I have only a few quibbles.  ABOTO is farther away from me than Brit's.  Parking might be tighter there than in downtown Minneapolis.  The atmosphere might be better at Brit's because I think there should be a sizable contingent of Lionesses supporters who want to watch at a British pub.  Finally, I am going to wear my Tampa Bay Mutiny jersey because I make a point of wearing it and my San Jose Earthquakes jersey at least once a year.  I wore my Earthquakes one to Brit's on Tuesday, and besides Minnesota United FC Matches (and I usually wear my Loons sweaters there), I won't have another occasion to don my Mutiny one, so today/Sunday it is.  I might, just might, get some guff for wearing a Major League Soccer -- read: male -- sweater to a women's sports-only bar.  More likely, though, people will ask me, "What's a Mutiny?"

I hope this is the right decision.

I am seeing a friend for lunch this/Saturday afternoon.  Feels good to finally be able to meet.  We have spent years saying, "Hey, we should meet for something!" and then we have had weeks where we tried to line up our schedules but couldn't, until now.  It might be a stretch to call it an accomplishment, but I'm just glad to finally keep a promise to enjoy a day out with her.

Sore On Belly

For the record, I have a sore on my belly.  I may have gotten it ... Tuesday, when I ate too much and I felt that I distended my stomach.  I feel fat to this very second.  (I don't really remember if it was Tuesday; I feel as though I have had this sore for a while.)

It is scary that this sore popped up after I ate too much, meaning that this sore may have developed because I ate so much.  I am imagining that my stomach grew to make room for all the food I ate, and ... um, then I developed a sore on my skin.  That happened because that happened, you know?  And I wonder if the only way this sore goes away is if I eat much less -- which won't happen.

And another thing about the car and the damn oil level ... I sat there for 40 minutes while they took care of the car.  I noticed how much oil dripped out of the car ... and goddammit, it looked like less than a quart spilled out of it.  Again, I kind of think that the engine was fine with the amount of oil it had.  But I believe what I saw with my own eyes, and despite putting in half a quart about six weeks ago ... shit, maybe they were right in saying that the car was starving for oil.

Fuckin' A, man.  I now have to check the oil pretty much weekly, starting now.  I need to understand how much oil my car is going through so I can fill it up as soon as it (apparently) begins getting starved for oil.  And that's assuming I can read what's on the dipstick.  And that is also assuming I can trust what's on the goddamn dipstick.  Because frankly, I sure fucking don't trust it!

The Weekly Minnesota Sports Survey

#-1: Lynx (Last Week: -2).  Alright, I'm still pissed that they lost The Commissioners' Cup Final, but I can't deny that they are the best team in the WNBA.  They have bridged their All-Star Break (congratulations to Napheesa Collier for winning ASG MVP, and congratulations also to Courtney Williams and Natisha Heideman for making their Studbudz business the talk of All-Star festivities) with victories over Phoenix (at home for their annual camp Game) last Wednesday and over Chicago (also at Target Center).  They clearly have the best record in the league, and they are perfect at home in league play.  Of course, they haven't won a damn thing yet.  And they didn't get the supersub they were angling for; Emma Meesseman will sign with second-place New York, and her low block presence would've made her a strong backup to Collier.  But things, for now, are pretty good.

They finish their five-Game homestand this Week vs. Las Vegas (Friday), Atlanta (Sunday) and the Liberty in their first matchup this season (Wednesday).

#-2: United FC (Last Week: -1).  Their splendid run of form stumbled this screening Week.  On Wednesday at Allianz Field, LAFC put up a low block the Loons couldn't break through, they got a Penalty Kick, and they held on to defeat MNUFC, 1-0.  Then on Saturday, despite Anthony Markanich scoring once again, they gave up a late equalizer to finish with a 1-all Draw at Portland.

Thankfully they remain in third in the West -- and better yet, only one Point behind Vancouver for second and two Points behind San Diego for first.  They visit faltering St. Louis Saturday before business turns to the Leagues Cup.

#-3: Twins (Last Week: -3).  Like the WNBA, MLB had their All-Star Game last Week, and congratulations go out to Byron Buxton and Joe Ryan for participating.  The Twins came back with as pillow-soft a return as one can have: A three-Game set at The Colorado Rockies, who are making a run for The Worst Team In Modern Baseball History.  But they lost two-of-three, which is pretty damn embarrassing.  And then they lost at the Dodgers Monday before winning at Chavez Ravine for only the third time this Millennium last/Tuesday night, 10-7.  But that series Loss to Colorado stands out; that might, and maybe even should, be the signal for the front office to begin selling off players on this team.

They finish up in Los Angeles this/Wednesday afternoon.  They then come home to play The Bastard Montreal Expos over the weekend, then host Boston for a trio beginning Monday.

Got my car serviced.  Nothing bigger than an oil change and a tire rotation.  But they say that there's a lot of oil gone from the car.  They save half was gone.  I don't think so.  I told them I put in some oil about a month ago.  Also, I have brought my car in at six-month intervals for the past year and a half, and the previous two times only half a quart was gone.  And now they're saying, what 1 1/2 quarts?

I can't tell what the hell to do.  I was told that I need to check my oil level so my engine doesn't starve.  But on the other hand I don't want to overfill it either because that also damages the engine.  And on top of all that, I still can't tell how much oil is in my car when I check my dipstick because my fucking dipstick fucking sucks.

I hate everything.  I'm glad I brought my car in, I guess, but I can't fucking tell what's true anymore.

With Teeth!

She did it!  **y took me into her mouth ... and she bit me!  There, like I wanted!!  Yay!!!

Yeah, that's all I've got to say.

I got the news that my parents' accountant has had a sudden downturn of health and is no longer working, effective immediately.  My parents told me.  They in turn learned about it through a text sent from their accountant's phone, although the person who sent the text is his son.

It's not like I really know the guy.  But as long as I have lived, he has been the one who has prepared all my parents' tax affairs.  And we have talked from time to time if he needed me to relay some message to my folks because either they were overseas or they didn't understand.  My parents (well, Mother in particular; she's the one who handles all the financial stuff) have always badmouthed him.  Mother only talks to me about their accountant when she wants to complain about him.  It's not incessant, but I have never heard her say a good word about him.  So I feel bad about how my folks bash him without him knowing; I know the feeling.  Add that he apparently has suffered a very serious health emergency, and I sympathize.  In fact, I grieve for him, even though he probably will never know my sentiments.

And in the meantime, I might need to help my parents find a new accountant.

Won't Reach 5,000 Miles

Bringing in my car for service this week.  Don't think anything's wrong with it, so it's just an oil change and a tire rotate.  Thing is is that I have not reached 5,000 miles yet, although it's been half a year.  Not as if that 5,000 miles should be the milestone at which I bring in in my car.  My car has a minder, and it says my oil's only half-gone.  But I got real scared with the troubles my car has had in the past 18 months, so if my mechanic says that I should bring it in in six months and ignore the minder, I will -- for now.

I think I drive a lot, but if I haven't reached 5,000 miles in six months, that means I most likely won't drive 10,000 miles this year, and that means I don't drive anywhere much.  That probably is due to work, but I've become a bit more mindful of how I spend my time and my money.  Add worrying about driving my car everywhere to all that, and I might enjoy being a shut-in now.

With that being said, I have tried to find ways to reach 5,000 miles before I bring my car in.  (By the way, I could bring in my car a different time, but this week seems perfect.  I need to take some days off, and these couple days off this week I can center myself watching the Women's EUROS Semifinals.)  I had to drive a long ways for this event yesterday/Saturday, and I set up a, uh, session with one of my stripper girlfriends tomorrow/Monday, and she lives far away.  I really, really wanted to set something up with another stripper girlfriend today, but now that I think about it, if I, uh, spill my seed today, I won't have any, uh, life essence tomorrow.

Maybe I'm bringing my car in too soon, who knows.

Felt Sick, But Now Feeling Fine

So I started off yesterday/Saturday having an American brunch with my parents, and I felt fine.  Then I went to this big event and, even though my stomach felt a bit oogy, I nibbled on a few things and felt fine enough.  I then treated myself to a big post-event dinner in St. Paul, and I had the same thing (food and drink) I had when I went there last year, and I didn't think it was too much or bad for my gastrointestinal system, but that's when I felt the urge to, you know, relieve myself.  But I thought I could tough it out to the bank and the gas station before heading home.

I was able to do all that and get home -- barely.  I had to go so bad that I immediately went to the bathroom, whereby I tried to poop, then did, but felt that I had shit some more, but couldn't.  And my body got real hot, a level of uncomfortable warmth I don't ever remember feeling.  It was not hot or humid outside, but I was burning up.  I began to sweat profusely.  And I started to panic; I noticed that there was no way for me to open the window in the bathroom (it's a long story, and maybe I'll blog post about it) and I felt like I wanted to scream.  My gut and GI tract were killing me.  And still I wasn't excreting as much as I thought it would.  You ever have that feeling of relief, if not euphoria, after a huge bowel movement?  I was banking on that, but it didn't happen for me.

I thought I was done, wasn't, went back into the bathroom, and didn't shit at all.  When I felt like my insides were no longer going to imminently cave in on me, I went back into my bedroom, turned on the fan, crept underneath my blanket, and passed out.

I woke up about three hours later (and totally missed Liga MX, which I had on the TV this whole time) ... and I feel fine.  Well, I still feel fat and as if I am still carrying a lot of human waste inside of me that I shouldn't.  But the sweats are gone, as is the intestinal distress and the feeling that I am about to go crazy.  I don't think I'm out of the woods quite yet, but I can now think about just what the hell happened to me.  It couldn't have been the brunch, could it?  Or was it the cheese during the party?  Or was it all the pork bellies I had for dinner?  Or was it a combination of those three occasions, or food poisoning, or something else?

HOAs Suck

I should ruminate on this more, but I have to go.

Mother needed my help with some homeowners' association stuff.  In particular, she needed to register for an account online for one of my parents' properties.  This property, however, they have owned for a long time, and I know that there was a different HOA, or at least a different website, to which they registered an account online.  This may not have been the first time for this property, either.  Plus, I know that other properties they own have gone through management changes whereby, suddenly, a brand-new company announces they are the new HOA/manager.

This is, frankly, ridiculous.  There is no reason to continue to change websites or management companies or HOAs for the same property.  I don't know what it is, but it absolutely screams scam.  And unfortunately, they have dozens they have to deal with.  It is beyond annoying.

We're Finally Saying Goodbye To My Old Car (Maybe)

So I got home from work late, so I was eating by myself.  My parents got home from their post-dinner walk, and Father came up to me about a commercial he saw from a non-profit that takes cars (could be Kars 4 Kids, but you know what I mean).  He thinks it's time to say goodbye to my old car.  And I agree with him.

It'll take some time to process this.  Thinking about all the good times I had with it makes me tear up one way, and then thinking about all the stress and pain (and money) to fix it in its last years makes me tear up in another way.  I am getting sentimental about my old car now, but I have to admit I go days without thinking about it, and when I do it's usually thinking about how it is right now, underneath torn tarps and cinder blocks, with lord knows what is crawling inside of it.  It's a 30+-year-old car now.  I think it was fine to drive when we stashed it, but it certainly isn't in the (two, three ... seven?) years since, and it's so old now it doesn't have any safety features that would keep us from danger on the road.

I told him I would do research and get back to him.  There are several non-profits beyond the one he saw on TV that probably take old cars like ours.  But I might procrastinate because I can't quite say goodbye to it, even though we're not going to do anything with it.

CBS Is Cancelling The Late Show With Stephen Colbert

That is some bullshit.  Don't care how it's expensive to produce a late-night show.  This is political.  CBS and Paramount are in the middle of closing a merger deal, and they Trump's blessing.  Moreover, the bigwigs with Paramount (CBS's parent company) have caved to Trump before in settling a lawsuit he filed against them for, of all things, a 60 Minutes interview of Kamala Harris he didn't like.  He has no goddamn standing suing a television show that he wasn't on, and CBS gave him money anyway.

This goes beyond a shakedown, or even kissing the ass.  People want this merger to go through, Trump says he wants Colbert gone, and they say OK.  Simple as that, and you won't make me believe otherwise.

Yeah, we don't live in a free country anymore.  Fuck all this.

Ugh, Work/Oh, Those Ducks!!!

Yeah, work yesterday/Wednesday was as rough and shitty as I feared it would be.  I had to wake up at 5:30, I was kind of lost remembering what I had to do once I got to work at 6:30, and then I spent 3 1/2 hours in the lab.  I have never spent that much time in the lab, and that sucks because I was cutting opening packages and getting my hands in piss the whole goddamn time.  One package actually squirted piss in my face.  My face!  I had to take some time to wash my face after I escaped the lab.  I think I said this before, but I am not the same person I was when I started this job, and it's completely because I have been in contact with other peoples' urine.  It is fucking gross, and I don't even want it (at work).

But oh my God, those ducks!  As I drove to work, I slowed down because I saw a mama duck and two baby ducks crossing the road.  Remembering these small, vulnerable creatures try to reach safe ground hurts my heart because they are so cute and yet I was so scared for them.  If I were in a different mindset, I would have probably overlooked them, and then ... Buddha, I don't even want to think about what could have been.  But you should have seen them.  Buddha, I hope they're OK.

The Weekly Minnesota Sports Survey

#-1: United FC (Last Week: -1).  Oh, look, the Loons made The Guardian a week ago.  It's a story, and you should read it, on how MNUFC are going all-in on kicking or throwing the soccer ball into the opposing box on Set Pieces as much as humanly possible.  They are causing chaos getting the ball so close to the net, and they are scoring Goals at a rate that Moneyball acolytes are getting erections over.  With that being said ... don't you always want to throw or kick the ball to the net whenever possible?  It sounds obvious to me until it's pointed out that it hasn't been done until now.

It looks as though Major League Soccer has finally paid attention.  What has been noticed is that for long Throw-Ins, it's Michael Boxall doing the throwing.  For the Match Saturday night against San Jose, Chicho Arango tried to block Boxy's throw by jumping.  The Referee finally stopped play, told Chicho he couldn't do that, and actually used his spray paint to dry a line from which he couldn't cross.  Tee-hee.

No matter.  United FC scored twice on Set Pieces, two Minutes in via Tani Oluwaseyi and in First Half Stoppage Time via revelation Anthony Markanich.  It was odd and yet very refreshing (unhealthy air notwithstanding) to see a Minnesota team handle a foe so thoroughly, which they did in defeating the Earthquakes (who were wearing a 70's-inspired throwback uniform, very nice), 4-1.  And with Vancouver continuing to falter, the Loons are now in second place in the West, only two Points behind expansion side San Diego FC.

By the end of this screening Week, this team will have played six Games over 16 Days.  Tonight they host LAFC, and on Saturday they visit Portland.  For tonight/Wednesday night's Match, they will debut their Change Strip/Heritage/Third Kit, which is a throwback and homage to the first men's pro soccer team in the state, The Minnesota Kicks of The North American Soccer League.  I've seen it, it's online and it'll be on sale beginning at 9 in the morning ... and it probably will be sold out by the time I get to Allianz Field.  They're pretty damn sweet sweaters.  So sweet, in fact, that I wish the Loons took the Kicks name.  I know it's an entirely different league, but still.  The only worry is that the team will begin to lose wearing those alternate jerseys.

#-2: Lynx (Last Week: -2).  OK, beyond me still being pissed over the Commissioner's Cup Final Loss (and I am still pissed), I am now genuinely fearful of how this squad is playing.  They finished off a lackluster 2-2 screening Week where they fell to red-hot Phoenix in the Mercury's camp Game Wednesday afternoon, outlasted Los Angeles in the Sparks' camp Game the next afternoon, then fell way behind and failed to complete the comeback in Chicago Saturday before winning the back half of the two-Game series versus the Sky on Monday.

They're 5-3 for the month of July.  While it could be worse, and they still lead the W with a 19-4 record, this is not the form of a championship club.  Of course, they just played four Games over a seven-Day period, and their schedule this month has been exceedingly busy.  Whether things straighten themselves out once they get into a less hectic part of their schedule or if this run of not-stellar results exposes depth issues (they dumped Alissa Pilli, their First Round Draft pick last season, by the way) from which they won't recover remains to be seen.

Nonetheless, the All-Star Break came just in time, even though Napheesa Collier and Kayla McBride (the latter a late substitute) are playing in the All-Star Game in Indianapolis Saturday night and Courtney Williams is participating in the Skills Competition Friday night.  But first they have to host their own camp Game, which is against said Phoenix (who now have the second-best record in the league and are only three Games behind the Lynx) this/Wednesday afternoon.  Coming out of the break, they host said Chicago on Tuesday.

#-3: Twins (Last Week: -3).  See, as much as the Twins (and Major League Baseball) are taking fans' hearts and throwing in the trash through inattention and incompetence, it sometimes is easy to win them back.  Take, for instance, Friday's matchup vs. Pittsburgh.  It helps tremendously that maybe the most-hyped Pitcher in the MLB, Paul Skenes, was playing, and that he was opposed by the Twins' best, Joe Ryan.  A Pitchers' duel will fill the seats, and by God, Target Field filled all of them -- it was a sellout of 40,100 (I didn't know Target Field could pack in 40,000!), and they were treated to, yes, a Pitchers' duel.  And it probably was a surprise that Ryan out-dueled Skenes, with the Pirates' one Run scored in the top of the Fourth Inning (courtesy of a Double by former Twin Isiah Kiner-Falefa) raised in the bottom of the Fourth via Trevor Larnach launching Skenes' hanging Curveball into the flowerbed in Right-Centerfield with Byron Buxton aboard:

All those cameraphone lights lit up for Jhoan Duran as he came out in the top of the Ninth, and although he allowed the tying Run aboard, he struck out Adam Frazier and Kiner-Falefa to preserve one of those Wins only baseball can give you.  Man, I wish I were there.

That was the standout victory in a 3-2 Week for the Twins, who are still under .500 and on the outside looking in for a playoff spot.  (Congratulations, by the way, to both Ryan and Buxton for their All-Star nods.)  But this weekend, coming back from the break, they get to play three Games at Colorado, who may be The Worst Team In MLB History.  Unfortunately for Minnesota, they play at the Dodgers for three Games starting on Monday.

Tiring Couple Days Ahead

I say tiring because work is not lining up to get my days to flow.  I'll just map out what I mean.

Tomorrow/Wednesday I am in The Main Department.  Because I need to go into the lab sooner than before -- and because I put in the wrong time for the alarm to wake me -- I think I need to get in at 6:30.  That means, however, I get off work at 3.  Also, unfortunately, there's an MNUFC Match that evening, and that doesn't start till 7:30, so there probably will be about three or four hours I need to kill between work and the Loons.  (I probably will catch the tail end of the Norway-Italy Women's EUROS Quarterfinal, and then, I don't know, nap in my car.)  That's a hell of a lot of time I need to waste.  But I don't want to go home and then go to St. Paul when work is inbetween home and Allianz Field.

Conversely, today/Tuesday, while I have a very important Zoom I need to get on at 7 at night, I just need to report to work by 8 in the morning.  Work was pretty full yesterday/Monday and it could be even worse today/Tuesday, but theoretically, if that did happen, I could do the Zoom on my phone in my car at work.  So, if my evening plans were switched the next two Days, that would've been sweet -- I would've woken up early but gone home early in time to eat and maybe nap before the Zoom today, and then I could wake up late(r) and likely go immediately from work to the soccer Game tomorrow.  Alas.  I just know that I'm tired and I need to bank some shuteye, starting now.

Hottest Babe In The Hooters Calendar: June 2025

I'm sorry ... this month is a dud, and I don't think hanging it up on my wall for the whole month would have changed my mind.  No offense to the ten women posing in the month.  But whether it's how they were posed or, um, something else, only three stand out to me.

In third place is Camila, hailing from Jonesboro, Ga.  Wavy, dark blonde hair that falls below her shoulders, she is wearing a blue two-piece bikini.  She does something most of the servers in this month do that is quite off-putting: She has an emotionless expression, in her case a pout, that gives no warmth or arousal.  Still, she is grasping the string in the front of her bikini top as if she is going to pull it down, and that's not nothing.

In second place is Scarlett, of Pearland, Tex.  Strawberry red hair (or maybe she dyed her hair pink), which is a huge plus in my book, that is wavy and cascades to chest height.  She is sporting a brown (taupe?) two-piece that is bordered in white.  That hair makes her look real cute, and it makes up for the strange posing where she is rotated to her side and her left arm is covering up her body.  Also, she's been told to touch something to her right (the left of the photo), but it's out of frame.  I just noticed this, and now it's bothering the hell out of me.

Finally, in first place is Tia, from Raleigh, N. C.  I'm not a fan of laying down because it invariably means the model's hand is in front of her, and this case is no different.  But she is lying in ankle-deep water in a pool, and so her straightened dark hair is wet, which I like.  Also, her dark skin sets off really well against the light blue two-piece bikini strung together with pink-and-blue string.

So, congratulations to Tia and the others I have singled out.  I have already touched myself to you three, but I think I will give it another guy pretty soon.

Lost All My Fake Poker Money

I got up to, like, more than $57 million, but I lost it all overnight.  I was being slowly bled dry, and then I had three 3's so I shoved, but this motherfucking AI player (or maybe he/she/they is real, who knows?) who was holding two hearts (I was playing Omaha, by the way) got hearts on the last card of the flop, the turn, and then the goddamn river, and now I have nothing.

What bullshit.  (Probably cheated, who knows?)  And I don't know why I'm so mad that I lost all this fake money.  Whatever.  I didn't get to Pro Level V, but it looks like I will stick at Pro Level IV.  In the meantime I'll take some time to grow my bankroll and, hey, maybe I'll get another chance to sucker some crazy gambler/bot into giving me his/her/their tens of billions like before.  And if I need to be relegated a class or two, I'm OK with that.  Just to erase this bad memory.

Expenses Without Receipt

Starting from Saturday, July 12:

• Went to the barber school to get my face shaved in anticipation of my big event on Saturday.  I complained about waiting to the point of missing most of the Sweden-Germany Women's EUROS Match in my previous blog post.  But I also have to note that I completely fucked up the handshake the guy shaved me gave me.  I went for the White one when he wanted to do, uh, something else.  God, I am so White.  I think I made up for it once I was done, but I mostly tipped to make up for my screw-up when we met.  So, with tip, the shave cost me: $14.
• Let's go back to Thursday the 10th, where, in anticipation of getting an HJ from ******e, I stopped before work at a bank to get some cash.  And since I needed to get gas, I figured I might as well spend more cash and walk over to Caribou for a mocha.  I cannot believe how expensive mochas are now, even with the ten cents off for getting the trivia question right, and I have to start thinking about cutting back for real.  With tip: $6.95.
• This seems like a mistake, but if not, I have to go all the way back to Thursday, June 12, when I visited my ATF at My Favorite Stripclub before my parents got home.  Cover, a bottle of Redd's, tips and 20 table dances from her equalled: $230.
• Back to Tuesday, June 3, where I did get an HJ from ******e, and we did it at my house because my parents were not home: $120.
• Sunday the 1st -- got my car washed.  Charged the wash but paid the tip in cash: $4.
• I then went to the coffeeshop real close by for a light lunch -- a bowl of their great chili and a can of Coke.  They sell ginger beer by the bottle there, too, so I grabbed one for cocktails at home.  With tip: $14.63.
• And now, back to Saturday, May 31, where, on my way to the United FC Match, I saw a couple local kids selling lemonade.  As a son of small business people, I want to encourage nascent capitalism, so I bought a glass for the low, low price of: 50 cents.
• Afterward I went to Bang Brewing, also in St. Paul.  I regaled you with this story before, but it may have been a mistake to follow up gorging on the free food I got in the VIP section at Allianz Field before and during the USWNT Match with a pizza here, but I did, and I needed to take a couple slices home for leftovers.  Anyway, I charged the pizza but paid for the Kernza Lager with cash.  And with a tip it totaled: $9.
• Sunday, May 25: Went to Hooters to use a calendar coupon.  With tip: $32.
• I then stopped by Dunkin' Donuts at the floor below for a couple donuts.  With tip: $4.47.
• Finally, back on Saturday, May 24 I got turned out by *****y, also here at home.  Man, I wish I had the run of the place to myself so I could get my pee-pee touched.  Total: $150.

I need to do these more often.  Good through July 12.

Missing This Fairly Important Soccer Match

Well, well, well ... this Sweden-Germany Women's EUROS Group Stage Match was a banger in the First Half.  The Germans scored first, the Swedes responded with two, then a player for German got red-carded, and then Sweden scored a Penalty Kick.

So right now, as I type this, it's Sweden 3-1 Germany, all Goals scored before Halftime ... and I missed the whole fucking thing even though I didn't want to.  I got back from getting a shave.  I decided to get one because I didn't know I would have the time to do it after work next week, and I need to shave because I have a huge function next Saturday.  I really had my mind set on watching this particular Match from the start, but I needed to get this shave more, and so I missed the important parts.

With that all said, there were chances for to not miss this Game.  There were so many people at the school where I got my shave, so I knew that when the teenage girl said someone would be with me "shortly," she was lying.  (I waited a bit more than half an hour, for the record.)  But yes, I had the choice of not getting a shave, but I didn't.  I could have woken up sooner, and I was kind of banking on my parents waking me up for lunch early.  But this was an occasion where we ate at noon.  This would've been great if I didn't have things I needed to do in the afternoon, but this time around, I did.

Since I was going to miss a good chunk of the Game, I decided to miss more of it and shop for lotion at the store on the other end of the parking lot.  If I'm going to miss it, might as well make the time away from the Match productive.

I've Become A Shark!

A poker shark to be precise!  I won a hand or two earlier in the week, and that somehow boosted me up the leaderboard into the top ten, meaning that if I stayed there, I would get promoted from Pro Level I to Pro Level II.  Well, I had some time just now and I played Zynga Poker again and I was able to win a few more hands that were worth billions in fake money.  Not only did I zoom up the leaderboard, I "made" so much money I automatically got promoted to Pro Level I ...

... and then Pro Level II, Pro Level III and Pro Level IV, also!  I didn't even know I got these promotions until I noticed the little insignia next to my avatar.  I don't really know how I did it.  I think I won as many hands as I did when I was in Rookie Class, but either I'm wrong, the payouts are much bigger, the competition is not as fierce as I thought it would be ... or I'm pretty damn good.  Or it's all of the above.

And Zynga told me that if I make $5 billion more before Sunday night, I would be automatically promoted into Pro V.  That's a lot of steps to climb over the course of, like, 72 hours, but I should go back and play some more.  Shoot, if you're hot, you're hot!

Outdoor Baseball? Mmm, Sorry

I was invited out to a Saints Game that took place last/Thursday night by alumni groups that we are trying to build relationships with.  As much as I wanted to go, I didn't think I could because work would probably make me late for First Pitch, and as a general rule, I don't want to go to a Game when I know I can't get to its very beginning.

I had other reasons I didn't want to go.  Another of my principles is that I will not pay for parking if I can help it, and St. Paul extends their street parking well into the evening.  That meant that I would have to park out of the downtown zone and then ride the light rail in, and that means I would have to figure out, build in, and get out of work at a fairly early time (as it is nowadays) to factor in public transportation and to make First Pitch.  Also, yesterday was a humid day, and I was not feeling hanging out in outdoor stands getting sweaty (and possibly with the sun beating down on me) trying to get to know people in order to organize more alumni events.

So I decided on Wednesday that I probably couldn't attend, and I let the lead organizer know.  And then the damndest thing happened.  I don't know what was up at work, but the heavy workload that I anticipated, and that has reliably been overwhelming ... wasn't there.  As many forms came into the building as it usually has, but apparently nearly all of them had the complete and correct information.

So, did I decide to go to the Game then?  Nope.  I realized that while I couldn't make it to the Saints Game if I got out of work too late, I didn't want to go to the Saints Game if I got out of work too early.  I had no interest yesterday to think of something to do for 90 minutes to two hours before I made my way to St. Paul.  And there was still the weather, which, admittedly, was not as sweat-inducing as I thought it would be, but was in no way comfortable for me to hang out for a 2 1/2-hour baseball Game.

So I went home.  And ate dinner (alone; I thought that since I got home at a not-insane time, my parents and I would eat dinner together, but alas).  And then I fell asleep for about an hour.

I hope these organizations have another shindig I can get to.  I really do want to try and attend one.

The Dreaded Noontime Energy Dip

Took a lengthy nap in the evening, again.  Am awake as fuck overnight, again.  Which means one thing, again: Around noon or so I will be so, so tired that I am afraid I will fall asleep at my desk.  This has become a huge problem the last couple weeks or so, and I don't know what exactly happened that has started this.  But I haven't been this (for lack of a better word) dangerously drowsy for any part of my workday in a long time, ever since I was a temp for Radisson and fell asleep at my desk during the afternoon.

I can feel it coming, and frankly, it scares me.  I get so tired I can barely function.  I forget how to do things.  I feel this mania build up in my body that I can't shake.  Yesterday at work, I got up and stood for a few minutes to get my mind away from work in an attempt to wake up.  That tore me away from listening to the England-Netherlands Women's EUROS Match, and I didn't want to tear myself away from listening to a second of that tournament, but I absolutely had to.  I didn't think I was going to fall asleep; I felt like I was about to die.

And, seeing how wide-awake I am right now, this is going to happen again today, dammit.

The Weekly Minnesota Sports Survey

#-1: United FC (Last Week: -1).  I think in the past I have disregarded, if not used Friendlies and Matches beyond Major League Soccer play, against the Loons.  Maybe I've gotten soft, maybe I've lost the plot, but I'm kind of factoring in MNUFC's scoreless Draw vs. Bundesliga 2. side Holstein Kiel and their U. S. Open Cup victory over Chicago at home -- played on back-to-back Days, mind you, a situation I doubt I will ever see again -- and giving them the top spot.

Why?  Well, I'm still mad at the Lynx, which is most of it.  And yeah, maybe I shouldn't have even mentioned the Friendly, because that's just an exhibition and that doesn't count.  (Although I will say, once again, that I want the opposing sides of Friendlies to bring their jerseys for sale.  I think they would make a mint.)  But pair their Quarterfinal Win over the Fire with their 2-1 victory at FC Dallas on Independence Night, and they once again are showing that they're a pretty damn good club.  Anthony Markanich is scoring in bunches, including the Game-winner over FCD.  Kelvin Yeboah got a Brace, both Goals in Extra Time, last/Tuesday night over Chicago.  Carlos Harvey scored the first Goal versus Dallas and assisted in one of the Goals over the Fire.  And trusty Robin Lod tied up the Quarterfinal against Chicago in the Second Half.

They still remain behind San Diego and Vancouver in third place in the West.  But they're only one Point behind the second-place Whitecaps and only two behind first place SDFC (Vancouver was leading the conference for the longest time, but they've now slipped behind San Diego due to a recent run of mediocre form).  This might be shaping out to be a hell of a race.

Their three-Match, six-Day homestand concludes Saturday against San Jose.

#-2: Lynx (Last Week: -Infinity).  Yeah, they still hold the best record in the W at 17-2, and they didn't just run through but ripped through the table this screening Week, defeating Washington, Golden State and Chicago, all at home.  They finished their five-Game homestand ... but of course I was in person for their only Loss of it, that Commissioner's Cup debacle against Indiana.  Yes, that was before the screening Week, but I'm still plenty sour, so that's why the Lynx are in second.  It's also why all three local teams are in negative numbers.

This Week they're on the road, and they'll be busy -- Phoenix this/Wednesday afternoon for the Mercury's annual Camp Game; Los Angeles tomorrow/Thursday afternoon for the Sparks' annual Camp Game; then two at Chicago, Saturday afternoon and Monday night.

#-3: Twins (Last Week: -2).  They went 4-2 this Week, so in and of itself, that ain't ... bad, you know?  Guess the Starting Pitching has rebounded from execrable, and the Offense has picked up a bit.  (By the way, congratulations to Byron Buxton on being [so far] the only Twins rep for the All-Star Game.  Buck is going to participate in The Home Run Derby, too.  He's having a great season because he's having an injury-free season [so far], and yet because of his team's recent doldrums, no one gives a damn.  And what if the HR Derby Curse is real and befalls him?  Egads!)  What has become interesting is The American League Central Division.  Not only have the Twins fallen on black days, so have the other three squads chasing Detroit.  As of right now, everyone except the Tigers is above .500, and combine that with Detroit now having The Best Record In The Majors, and the Tigers lead both Minnesota and Kansas City by a whopping 14 Games.  Yeah, if the Twins are going to make it back into the playoffs, it'll have to be through the Wild Card, no doubt.

After finishing their home series vs. the Cubs, tomorrow/Thursday afternoon, they host the similarly-going-nowhere Pittsburgh Pirates for a three-Game set over the weekend to finish out their maximum homestand.  And that will bring them, and the rest of Major League Baseball, to the All-Star Break.

Three Straight Days In St. Paul

Realized this Sunday: I am in the middle of three straight days going to St. Paul.  I went there Sunday to catch soccer Matches at this pub I go to, I went to Allianz Field (which is within walking distance of the pub) last/Monday night to catch a Loons Friendly, and I am going back to the stadium again tonight/Tuesday night to catch the MNUFC U. S. Open Cup Match.  (Still don't understand why the team wanted to play on back-to-back nights.  Sure, they played almost every player from their minor-league club against Holstein Kiel last/Monday night so they could rest their best players for the more important Game.  But not even one Day inbetween?)

That's three straight days of going to Midway.  There is a dive bar close by where I've gone to concerts in the past, and there is possibly The Best Laundromat In The Twin Cities I went to a couple times to do my laundry when the washer and dryer at home were broken.  Besides those two places and the stadium, there would be no reason for me to even step foot in this part of town.  Imagine that.

Finally Getting Promoted In Zynga Poker!

When playing Zynga Poker you are shunted into a tier.  I don't know if I've got this right, but I think there are five classes, and within each class there are five levels, I being the lowest, V the highest.

Ever since I got sucked into playing Zynga Poker, I have been in Rookie, the bottom class.  Once I started caring enough to play on a regular basis, I have been bouncing down to IV but keeping it at V more and more often.  But I just couldn't break through past Rookie V.  To do that, you have to win a lot of money.  Once Sunday at 7 p.m. rolls around, the ten players in Rookie V with the most winnings that week graduate to the next level, whatever that is.

Well dang it, I finally did overnight!  I have broken past Rookie V and I now am ... Pro Class I!  How did I do it?  The only way you can, I think: I got a lot of good poker hands, and there was another guy (or another bot) who was willing to bet oodles of money, and I just won it all.  That happened, I think, overnight Thursday/Friday.  How did I fall into this intersection of luck I don't know, but I finally got see what happens when you get promoted past this.

So, what does it mean?  More money they give you and stuff, that's all.  And I'm sure I will fall back to Rookie V.  Heck, I may not reach Pro Class ever again.  But at least I got to be there, just this one time!

Doing The Triple? Uh, Nah

It's never a good thing to be woken up by someone mowing the lawn just past 9 on a Sunday morning.  It really sucks when, after considering how close the sound of the mower is, you realize that it's your own Father who woke you up.  He is on his own timeline.  That gives me an excuse to be on my own timeline.

Had a plan of doing a soccer triple today/Sunday: The Women's EUROS Doubleheader, Norway-Finland followed by Switzerland-Iceland, then the Gold Cup Final between the U. S. and Mexico.  The first Women's EUROS Match began at 11; the second Women's EUROS Match begins at 2, and the Gold Cup tonight is at 6.  The problem, and I did not anticipate this, is that none of the soccer pubs I go to were going to be open before 11.  There were some that opened right at 11, but my OCD brain decided that wasn't good enough because that would mean that they wouldn't be obligated to open until 11, so I would theoretically wait until they opened their doors right at that time, so by the time I sit down, I would've missed the kickoff which, because these are Europeans, would start right at the top of the hour, if not close to it.  Beyond that, the pub I go to may not have turned on the TVs yet, or turned to the right channel, or turned up the sound yet.  I could be at my seat before kickoff and still miss it because the pub wasn't ready.

Add to all this that this tripleheader is kind of onerous.  There's a manageable gap of an hour between the EUROS Games, which is fine, but then the gap between the end of the second Game and the Gold Cup Final is two hours.  I would probably go out and eat somewhere, but my initial plan was to watch one Women's EUROS Match at one pub in downtown Minneapolis, walk down to another pub to watch the second Match, possibly go to a coffeeshop or Culver's inbetween, then have a beer at a third place in Midway for U. S.-Mexico.  Not only is that a long time with a car trip between the cities, but that would be a lot of food I'm eating.  It was going to be a laborious soccer-loving Day as is, and I don't know if I wanted to go through all that if (and again, I have OCD) I am going to miss the first very start of the first Match.  It's all ruined if I miss the very first kickoff.

So, I decided to punt.  I'm staying in to listen to Norway-Finland on SiriusXM (without eating at home to save my stomach; I'm telling my parents I am hanging out with a friend all day and evening), then I will leave straight for St. Paul for Switzerland-Iceland.  Hopefully I will have enough in my stomach to go somewhere to eat/drink something, then I'll have a beer or a cider and hopefully see the States come out victorious tonight.

Hopefully, I can stay up for all this since I was woken up by My Father mowing the lawn this morning.

Passive-Aggressive Confrontation At The Ice Cream Place

OK, so a few weeks ago I was enjoying a final Sunday before my folks came home, and I decided to go to this ice cream parlor kind of close to me -- not for ice cream (I think I've gotten more lactose intolerant, if that's possible), but for their burger, which is consistently lauded around town.  I think they're good, but I have had a few in the area that have blown me away.

Anyway, I was going to sit down to eat my burger and fries.  There is an outside deck and it was fairly crowded, but there were a couple seats available.  So I promptly lay on the counter my food right above a seat that was next to this couple.  And the male of the couple says, "Aup -- my son's sitting here," and he quickly jerked the stool right next to him.

I did the polite Minnesota thing.  No, I only did a blend of the polite Minnesota thing.  See, my old age has given me repeated instances of honing my passive-aggressiveness -- come to think of it, that's a Minnesota thing too -- to the point where I am getting better at shooting off comebacks that are nice on the surface but is delivered with a side of bile and bite.  Maybe it's not good in a polite society to be so on-edge that you have such a witticism at the ready, but we are no longer in a polite society.  So, as I picked up my food to move down to another open seat, I said, "Ope, sorry about that," and I know I had an unmistakable tone I said that with.  Heh-heh.

It's not as if the old guy was lying; his son came out from the bathroom and starting eating with his parents.  I could've just left it there ... but that's not me.  From that point onward, I was thinking of one more shot, one more dig whereby I could taunt or bait him, maybe even pick a fight with him if he is as prone to anger as I am.  Hell, my parents were coming home -- why not fight?

(Aside: This place is great if car-cruising was a thing.  The place is fronted by a three-lane road, with one lane in the middle for cars taking lefts.  It's speed-controlled, too, which is a good thing for pedestrians.  It's also good for drive-bys.  All guys who are strapped need to do is roll by at 15 miles per hours and light up the place, and me.  Glad I didn't have any enemies out to get me then -- well, besides this dude.  Anyway, back to my story:)

I finally decided I would look at him, and I mean stare at him until I got his attention, then say goodbye to him.  Not say anything, but acknowledge his leaving in a way that would make him notice.  That would assume a few things.  For one, he would have to leave before I do.  For another, he would have to walk my way in order for me to flag his attention.  And, for finally, he would have to see me.  But if all those conditions were met, bam!  I got his ass!

So he and his family got done before me.  Then, they walked on the sidewalk in front of me.  See, this is my chance.  They were walking slow, so I just stopped eating and looked at him, intently.  He glanced at me -- and I just gave him a wink, a "See ya around, pal!" type of thing.  And he ... gave me a smile.

Uh, what was that?  He didn't seem triggered or put off.  In fact, he didn't seem, uh, mad at all.  Now, he could've been cursing me up and down by the time those three got into their car -- "What the hell was that?" type of thing.  Or -- um, he just honestly said that stool was for his son, and that's all he meant by it.  Which means I overreacted to something that just happens.  And there's nothing more to it than that.

Shit, was that all that it was?

The Correct-Minded Beaches In Los Angeles

I lived in Los Angeles for college, and while I miss living there, it has been apparent that large parts of the area are infested with MAGAts.

As Trump was leaving, I saw tweets about Hunting Beach, Calif., having massive protests against him leaving.  It saddened me.  I always wanted to go to Huntington Beach because it looked beautiful, but apparently the people there and their politics were decisively ugly.

So, I asked through Twitter just now if there were any beaches in the L. A. area that were more progressive in their outlook.  I got two responses.  And I decided I will type them in here, for posterity.

The first is Venice Beach.  Went there once.  A street busker was racist toward me, so eh.  The second has been deleted when I looked, but I think, and I hope, it's Santa Monica.  There was one weird dude there, but besides that, I loved going there when I had a chance to go there.

So, Venice and Santa Monica Beaches -- the correct-minded beaches in Los Angeles.

Thursday afternoon, my supervisor told me she was taking another job within the company.  She leaves at the end of the month.  And I am scared.  She has taught me nearly everything I know.  And while we have clashed from time to time, I am very thankful to her for showing me the ropes of how to work this job.  (And frankly, whenever we have clashed it's because she told me I did something wrong ... and after I got my internal mini-tantrum, I realized I did do something wrong.)

Still, I keep going to her to ask, "What should I do here?  Where do I go to ask for this?" etc.  In a few weeks I won't be able to do that anymore.  And like my co-worker who retired from The Third Department, not only will the workload she once did probably be saddled onto me and the other three who work the same position as I, I will be lost as to what to do when tricky problems crop up.  I need her, and (and I don't care how clingy this sounds), I miss her already.

Happy (Last) 4th Of July (Ever)

But should we really be celebrating, though?  Eh, I'll take the day off.  I'll do self-care.

At least this Year's Independence Day is a Friday so I get a long weekend.  Happy Independence Weekend, and if you can't be happy, I understand:

New Work Record

Well, it happened: I set a new record for longest shift at work: Just short of half a day, twelve hours.  I didn't think it was going to happen.  Actually, I thought I would get out of there earlier than usual because it was the day before Independence Day and I thought people at the company would want to leave as soon as they could.  Nope, they went the other way: Because of the holiday, they went through all the work that was out there.  And since shit rolls down, I, in The Fourth Department, had over 90 forms for which I needed to contact people to get the correct or missing information.

I can't believe it.  I know my boss will at least make a side-eye when he sees that part of my timesheet.  But goddammit, how in the hell did a record number of forms -- seriously, I have never had so many forms to deal with in one day in my life -- come in on the 3rd of July?!

Have to level with you now: I am kind of lit.  Once I finally left work, I thought I was entitled to a drink or two.  I downed those drinks at my favorite speakeasy, then went to the arcade around the corner to eat a pizza because I was still hungry.  Hey, my weekend started, and since it started hours later than I thought it should have, fuck it, I made up for lost time!

In Another Example Of How Soccer Rules My Life ...

There are many special soccer competitions happening over the summer.  You may have heard of the Gold Cup, the biannual competition between countries in North and Central America.  (The Semifinals were held last/Wednesday night; the United States and Mexico will, once again, meet for continental supremacy Sunday.)  You may have also heard of the Club World Cup, where teams in domestic leagues meet up in a global tournament (being held in the U. S., like the Gold Cup) to see which club team in the world is the best.  (That's not really the case since there are only 32 teams and many of them were invited, so how can you determine which one is the best?)

But for my money, the summertime soccer competition I am most keen on is the Women's European Championship, colloquially known as the Women's EUROS.  That tourney began yesterday/Wednesday afternoon and will last throughout July.  I think it has better teams than the Gold Cup and is more important than the Club World Cup, which isn't as old as the Women's EUROS.  European women's soccer is getting really good these days, and there are several countries that could win this tournament.  I loved watching three Years ago and four Years before that, so I'm looking forward to watching Women's EUROS 2025 slavishly.

Thus, my waking days will be spent, yes, on soccer.  There will be group stage Matches for the Women's EUROS for the next dozen Days that began yesterday/Wednesday.  Then there will be Games as the tournament reaches the knockout stage, culminating in the Final Sunday, July 27.  I will try and listen to as many Matches on satellite radio while I'm at work.  If I'm at home and the Match is on over-the-air TV, I will turn on Channel 9/Fox.  And for a few Games, including the Final, I will go out to a soccer pub to watch.

Now, add that to the Gold Cup Final on Sunday, possibly the Club World Cup Final (I hear that the gameday venues have been atrocious due to low attendance and dangerous weather, but the Games themselves have been great), and MNUFC playing (including on back-to-back Days Monday and Tuesday), and my month of July will be held hostage by soccer.  I will enjoy that, for the most part.  But I cannot guarantee I won't collapse in exhaustion at some point.  Heck, I wanted to watch the Mexico-Honduras Gold Cup Semi last/Wednesday night on Univision.  I turned the TV on, but I was so tired I slept from just before kickoff till about the last 20 Minutes of the Match.  There might be more of that where that came from if I'm not careful.

The Weekly Minnesota Sports Survey

#-1: United FC (Re-Entry!).  The only squad not to lose this Week were the Loons, so they take the top spot for this Week's WMNSS.  Not to say this was the greatest Week this franchise has had.  It started out nearly perfect with a 3-1 home Win over The Houston Dynamo, a kind of performance (of a great team on paper crushing a much-less-great team when it counts) that you don't see a whole late around the Twin Cities; see all the way below.

It was a different story on Saturday in Harrison, N. J.  The New York Red Bulls took the lead in the 11th Minute courtesy of Emil Forsberg, Kelvin Yeboah tied it up in the 32nd, the near-revelatory Anthony Markanich gave MNUFC the go-ahead Goal just before Halftime ... but dammit, United FC once again blew a lead, allowing NYRB's Eric Maxim Choupo-Moting (he played at Bayern Munich last season) to level things in the 90th.  The Red Bulls had a 3-on-1 breakaway brewing when the Lead Official blew the Match over, which got the NYRB Head Coach real pissed, storming the pitch to ask him why.

I still think the Loons are a cut below Vancouver and San Diego out west, but they are comfortably third in the conference as of right now.  But they have the busiest screening Week I think I've ever seen for this XI.  On the 4th of July, they're at FC Dallas for a Major League Soccer Game.  They then come home for back-to-back Matches, something I have never seen before.  Well, the one on Monday is just a Friendly versus Holstein Kiel, which got relegated to Bundesliga 2.  The next night, they host The Chicago Fire in the Quarterfinals of the U. S. Open Cup.  I'm pretty sure the minor leaguers, the ones who play for MNUFC2, will be playing Monday and the regulars Tuesday.

#-2: Twins (Last Week: -2).  A 3-3 screening Week is a veritable hot streak for a Twins club that remains in freefall.  While they split a four-Game set vs. Seattle at home, they lost a series at Detroit, which finished up with Tigers Ace Tarik Skubal carving up Twinks hitting to the tune of 13 Strikeouts and only one Hit.  And then, just last/Tuesday night, the Marlins beat the Twinks in Miami, 2-0.  Joe Ryan, the only Starting Pitcher really worth a damn in the Rotation right now, allowed only one Run over seven Innings, and it still wasn't enough because the Offense is shorting out again.  And nothing is going to be done to improve this team/franchise/organization.

After completing the trio in Miami, they come home for a long homestand.  They start with the Bay Rays over Independence Weekend followed by the Cubs for three starting on Tuesday.

#-Infinity: Lynx (Last Week: -1).  Yeah, I don't care what they did this past Week, and I don't give a shit that they still have the best record in the W.  I spent $68 to go to Target Center last/Tuesday night for the Commissioner's Cup Final.  The Jynx, who won last Year's Final in Brooklyn over New York, was poised to be the first team to ever go back-to-back, and thus earn the half-million dollar team payday, in this tournament's short history.  They were facing Indiana, a team scuffling around .500 and who, by the way, announced that Caitlin Clark would not be playing because of her groin.

This was supposed to be fucking money in the bank.  Otherwise, I wouldn't've gone.  And everything was coming up Millhouse after one Quarter with Minnesota up by eight.  And then, goddamn motherfucker, that team couldn't shoot worth shit.  The Fever finished the Half on an 18-0 run and didn't look back, upsetting -- and remember, they didn't have Great White Hope Caitlin Clark playing at all -- by 15 goddamn Points.  Fifteen!!!  I am livid that I had to witness this fuckin' humiliation with my own eyes.  I had to leave with three Minutes left in the Game because I didn't want these bandwagon fans taking over Target Center and celebrating their team at mid-court with that big joke check they give people who hit the jackpot at a slot machine, glorying over the fact that they beat the Jynx at their house without Caitlin Clark.

And worst of all, I just wasted $68 on that bullshit.  That's money I can't ever get back.  Right now, come to think of it, I am beyond livid.  It will be a long time before I pay good money to see this team again, not after getting fuckin' burned by this atrocity when I knew, I knew!, they were going to win.  I hate myself for trusting a Minnesota team to come through.  Fuckin' A, they never do.  They never do.

Oh, I have to preview their upcoming schedule.  They are in the middle of a five-Game homestand, but all of those Games are being played over eight Days, including tomorrow/Thursday, Saturday and, to take advantage of the holiday I guess, Sunday too.  This abject offensive failure might have knock-on effects because they don't have to figure out what the fuck went wrong.  We could see this team spiral.  If so, you heard it here first.  Goddamn, watching that sucked so goddamn much. ...

Left Elbow Hurts

Just want to note that my left elbow hurts.  Not a lot, but it's noticeable, and it hasn't gone away.  It hurts especially when I try to straighten my arm.  I think it started ... oh, crap, maybe a month ago.  I think it started when I slept on it really hard.  Well, I guess, I don't know.

Like with many annoying ailments, I just didn't really think of trying to fix it.  I notice it, but I have to get on with my day, so I take note of it and then hope it goes away.  This isn't going away.  I don't know how to get rid of it, and I want to get rid of it, but it ain't going away, and that's starting to freak me out.