Holy Shit, I'm Spending My Way Back Into Poverty

Wow, I just looked at the credit card statements for which I need to pay ... and for the second month in a row, I will have to carry over money into the next month and accrue interest.  Some of it is porn, but a lot of it is just eating out, and that is something I have to get control of, dammit.

I thought that my parents paying for everything in Hawai'i would lessen this month's bill.  Nope.  I mean, they are paying for a lot; my bill would otherwise be astronomical.  But I had spent enough money before I went on vacation that my bill is still very frickin' high.  And frankly, the next billing cycle is going to be high, too.

Like I said, porn is one big category even though it isn't the biggest.  Nevertheless, I am compelled to, after completing this blog post, going over to OnlyFans and shut off all but one subscription.  As much as I enjoy it, that is one way I'm spending my way back into poverty, and I sure as hell don't want to do that.

Goddamn, what a fucking buzzkill seeing my credit card bill is.

OK, Things Have Fucking Done Changed Now ... In More Ways Than One

Two unfortunate developments at work, which remains meager.

We now have new hours.  I am supposed to come in at 8:30 instead of 7.  That's great for me to sleep in, but bad, in my opinion, because of the other shoe to drop: My boss is encouraging all of us to get on unemployment.  He probably was before, but I spoke with him to make sure where he was going with this, and he said that even though I didn't have to, he thinks it's the the smart thing to do.

He then said something I possibly should have understood, but I really think this needed to be spelled out: Because of lack of work, everybody's getting cut down to 20 hours of work.  Now, I did say that I didn't mind getting only 70% of my check.  Frankly, I would be OK if I get only 60% of my check, and I would get 60% of my check under this situation if I declare Paid Time Off for one day this week.  However, maybe I should not do that and instead just go through unemployment and accrue Paid Time Off.  Otherwise, I will go through that Paid Time Off, then borrow for future Paid Time Off (I'm allowed to do that in this company) until I couldn't any more, and then come to a dead end.

But ... dammit, I don't want to go on unemployment.  I know a part of every paycheck I've received is taken from me for unemployment insurance, and therefore I have already "paid" for this.  But since this is considered wages, it will be taxed, so next year (and possibly next year) I'll get socked with a tax bill when I file next year.  Yeah, that might be a worry to worry about next year, but it's a pain in the ass and I don't want to.  I also don't like this because I am about to have dinner with my parents and confess that that is what work wants me to do.  Maybe they'll understand that, maybe they won't.  Mostly, though, I don't want to do this because of pride and ego.

With that being said, going on the dole may be too logical for me to reject.  This is money that is supposed to help me.  Meanwhile, I have car insurance and car repairs coming, and even though I do have cash on reserve, I could use some more.  I'll think on it.

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One other thing.  My company, and thus my bosses, are now taking a very close eye on hours.  I thought that means I should make sure I don't accrue overtime.  But now, I think I have to keep myself under 20 hours.  That's because, over the course of my meeting, he had to bring up the fact that I stayed 20 minutes after I "should have" clocked out Monday.  I needed to sanitize my desk, but I was under the impression I had to process all these applications before I leave ... it's a long and dumb story.

In my way of thinking, if I keep myself under 40, it doesn't matter if I go above the total number of hours I'm supposed to go over.  In other words, if I ostensibly work 24 hours this week (20 hours plus four Paid Time Off), does it really matter if I technically work 24 hours and 20 minutes?  Apparently so, with the way my boss oh-so casually brought it up.  (wanking motion)

I guess I have to watch the clock now.  And this makes me think that my boss is also controlling the pursestrings; whatever more money unemployment pays out, the less money the company pays out.  That may be why we have this 20-hour edict, and this may possibly be a strict edict.  Whatever.  Unfortunately, this also means that I am being scrutinized for something that I don't think is a big deal.  This might change if we get back to full-time work.  Maybe not, and if this scrutiny gets really irritating, I might have to look for other work.

Oh, People Are Pissing Me Off So Much These Days

Fuck!  OK, I need to say that.

Two people, both women.  Don't want to be misogynistic, I truly think both of them are … uh, I can't say "bitches" anymore, can I?  Horrible people.  Hate them.

OK, first one gave me horrible service when I brought my car in.  Curt, didn't make eye contact, and (yes, I am one of those fucking people) didn't say thank you when we were done.  I should have known this bitch (sorry, I can't help it) didn't want to be there when I gave her this coupon for a gift card I was eligible for (because I just shelled out $400 for services) and she grabbed it and threw it away.  What really pissed me off, though (and I'll throw this out there because I will allow for the possibility that I, uh, overreacted, although I don't think I did) is that when she handed me over the receipt to sign, instead of having a pen right in front of her to hand to me, she says, and I quote, "The pens are over there."  And I have to reach over to this pot of pens to grab one.  Jesus fuck, you don't have a goddamn pen right in front of you to hand over to customers?  And you put all the pens in a canister that you keep out of arm's reach of your customers?  Seriously, I … this is fucking unbelievable.  (And yes, I reiterate that I am one of these customer service pricks.  This shit is on her.)

People like her twist me into such a knot that I act strange.  It's their fault!  She treated me awful, so I throw the receipt back at her.  I leave because I need to get away from her, but then she shouts back at me … because she hasn't given me my gift card.  Dammit!  I need to work on my passive-aggressive game some more.  After she does, I ask, "Is there anything else?"  Silence.  Fuck off.

The dealership sent me an invite for a survey.  I think it's right for me to lay the fuck into her.  Who the hell does she think she is?

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And then there was this crazy bitch on the highway yesterday while driving home.  There was a massive back-up on the off-ramp I needed, so I … again, I allow that maybe I shouldn't have done this, but, nah … decided to cut in front of this red, uh, Cadillac I think.  Short black woman was behind the wheel, and driving really slowly; that's why I made the calculated risk of merging onto the huge space she put in front of herself.  After getting through the on-ramp, I see this bitch right behind me and quickly zip to the lane to my left.  How the hell did she get there?

I saw how after I went around her and got to my off-ramp several cars ahead of her, he-he.  That goddamn woman was going down the same fucking road I had to go down, but very slowly.  In fact, other drivers, like me, went around her.

I was hoping she wasn't going to my same neighborhood, but I was wary enough that, even though she was hundreds of yards behind me in the other lane, blocking traffic, I kept her in my sideview mirror.  Just as I had to turn off, she stepped on the gas, got up past the car ahead of me, turned on her turn signal and cut in front of that car, which, coincidentally goddammit, switched over to the other lane, thereby letting this bitch get in front of me.  So I was behind her, and I had to turn to the street she was turning to.  I wanted to honk my horn.  I wanted to follow her all the way home.  But I had to control myself at the last minute, and I turned into another street.

I swear she did that just to piss me off.  The only thing that makes me think she isn't is that she was driving so fucking slow that she was pissing off other people, which makes me think she doesn't give a shit about anybody.  She's just a fucking horrible driver.

I'd rat on her, but she doesn't have a license plate on the back of her car.  That's illegal in Minnesota, isn't it?

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Oh my fucking God, I hate people right now.