I got the latest Entertainment Weekly today; it's the one with some of the cast of Glee on it. Just because, I check the covers to see if it's damaged. I'm not going to call EW or anything, but I really like it when my latest issue is, um, pure. This was, though I then tell myself the corners will get bent and the spine torn out of the staples because I'll just throw it on one of the piles of papers I have in my room and it'll just tear when I step over the pile.

I take some care, but not too much, when I read through it while I take a shit. My Grandmother makes a mess all over the bathroom -- water on the counter and toilet seat, dirt all over the floor, crap on the bathmat, etc. It still looks good when I put it on the bathmat and when I'm done defecating.

I put the magazine on the counter to wash my hands. When I look back, I see an arc of water under my mag. Shit! I didn't think to check if Grandmother made a mess of the counter before I put my mag on it. Goddammit, now the whole cover and the corners of the first several pages are ruined. I'm drying them out right now.

No, it doesn't really matter. No, I probably will forget tomorrow. Yes, I am a hypocrite for saying I didn't care if my magazine gets dirty until it actually got dirty. But shit, look at it! It's fuckin' ruined!!!