Bus Tales

When I was taking the bus back from downtown after getting a handjob (more on that later), I was sitting behind this woman whose chair next to her was open. This being a very progressive city, many people use mass transit, and usually this route at this time of day is crowded as it leaves north, so empty seats are taken quickly. So this guy -- disheveled, but not any more so than anybody else who takes the bus, and that includes me -- asks the woman, like a gentleman, "Do you mind if I take this seat?"

And this cunt goes, "Yes, actually I do mind!"

And this man, who had every right to punch this bitch in the face, had this bewildered look as he walked down the bus. This reminded me of the time I sat down on the bus and this fucking woman looked at me, sneered in disgust and got up to find another seat away from me. My God, was I that repulsive, bitch? Compared with every other guy you usually see on the bus, I'm a catch!

Anyway, this woman did not raise a stink when a lady speaking in a foreign tongue took that seat without asking. Later, this bitch spoke to no one in particular when she laughed out loud at a blocked street as we left downtown. And when I finally got to look at her profile as she was walking across the street after leaving the bus, I believe she's just a tad fucking batshit crazy.

God, assholes like her really piss me off. This is why I hate using the bus, shit like that. I would never do that to anyone. Unless. ...

The last time I used the bus I got on it several stops before this guy, presumably and old immigrant, got on the bus and sat near the front. This prick let go a hellacious sneeze without covering his mouth. Swine flu was the fear because school just began, so I immediately froze up and held my breath, gasping shallow breaths to keep myself from passing out.

All of us sudden, for no reason, despite having his seat up front as well as several seats next to him empty because people began leaving as we left the city limits, this contagious asshole decided to sit next to me. I wasn't having any of it; he didn't make a big stink about it, but no, he didn't cover up his mouth when he sneezed, so fuck him.

While the bus was moving I abruptly stand up. My mistake was to point with my left finger to the seats behind us. I was going to move to a seat closer to the front just to get away from him. I just wanted him to move out of my way ... but for some goddamn reason he moved seats again, to the ones in the row behind us, like he was following my order to move there. No, you stupid fucker! You're acting just like my Grandmother when I tell her to do something but don't know how to say it in Chinese and so I have to mime it out and inevitably it comes out all fucking wrong! I grit my teeth as I continue on way to get away from The Toxic Stranger; he kind of looked at me with both innocence and obliviousness.

The things I do to get a handjob downtown.