#-1: Gopher women's hockey (Last Week: -1). This Noora Räty is one tough chick. The Goalie follows up last week's WCHA Defensive Player Of The Week award with this week's WCHA Rookie Of The Week Award for stopping 32 shots in the team's 4-0 defeat at St. Cloud St. Friday afternoon. Backup (I don't know if she is, but the way Räty's playing she should be) G Alyssa Grogan stoned all 21 Huskies shots in the Gophers' 7-0 rout Saturday afternoon at Ridder. Being a perfect 8-0 is great, but like the Lakers, Celtics and Magic in the NBA, this looks like a team who knows that they're going to the NCAA Tournament and that nothing matters until they start playing then. A 11-0 shutout sweep (and a three-game shutout streak where they've scored 14 goals) looks even better when compared to their Y-chromosome counterparts. (They're mirror images of each other, almost literally; see below -- way below.) Anyway, the Gophs, ranked second in the USA Today/USA Hockey women's poll, faces quite possibly its stiffest test yet this weekend: A pair against ninth-ranked Wisconsin at Madison.
#-2: Timberwolves (Re-Entry!). I'm still coming to terms with what I see as sort of a conundrum: This team absolutely blows, yet the new front office blood seems to know this and is willing to finally scorch the earth and take their lumps in order to get better in the long run. I think there are only five players left from last year's team. Shit, there were five players who were here and then traded away in the offseason. There will be plenty of times when the Woofie Dogs are at the bottom of the WMNSS ... but luckily for them, not this time. Trailing by 14 points to the New Jersey Nes to start the fourth quarter, these guys actually showed some balls and came back to win on a Damien Wilkins (who?! Really, who?!) putback at the horn opening (Wednesday) night. Enjoy the win and undefeated record, fellas -- you won't be celebrating much of either pretty soon.
(ETA the buzzer-beater shot. Buzzer-beater shots should always be embedded here.)
#-3: Gopher volleyball (Last Week: -2). Two wins this past weekend, but I was at the victory against Michigan St. at the Pavilion Friday night, and believe me, most of the match I was saying to myself that this is not how a team ranked in the Top 10 plays. There is a transfer from USC, a senior named Taylor Carico, who was supposed to be the major sparkplug in getting this team to the Final Four. Well, she was pulled for the last two sets of the match -- and the Gophers won both. She isn't the ball-handler she was made out to be, at least not yet. (She did come back the next night and play all four sets of their win against Michigan, a game that served as both the team's annual pirating of Williams Arena and a "Dig Pink" breast cancer charity event.) Also, I'm surprised that Tabitha Love was named both Big 10 Freshman and Co-Player Of The Week, 'cause she played shittily at times against the Spartans. One time she was set the ball for the kill shot and she passed it up for a midair bump. For someone who stands 6' 6", that should be unacceptable, although I believe it was Carico set up that ball. Finally, Jessica Granquist's defense was, in my opinion, poor. Nevertheless the Gophs rose to #7 in this week's AVCA poll. They will fall from that ranking, however, because they travel to Penn St. and face the top-ranked team in the country Friday night. (They also play at Ohio St. Halloween.)
(By the way, I have to add this: There was a new PA announcer Friday night. I don't know if this guy's a fill-in or if he permanently replaces the old, longtime announcer [who, even though I've never met him, seemed like sort of a dick], but this guy, uh, sucked. He got so many of the calls wrong, didn't announce substitutions because he didn't know the names, and used that stupid pun, "killed by [Tabitha] Love!" every single fucking time Love spiked the ball. I hope that was his first time, because he has to improve from that godawful performance. Please!)
#-4: Gopher women's soccer (Last Week: -5). They rise in this poll, yet they are winless for the second weekend in a row. The Gophs held a 1-0 lead in both games they played this weekend only to sqander it both times; they gave up a second-half penalty kick to settle for a 1-all tie at Michigan Friday night, then allowed two second-half goals in a span of 90 seconds in a loss to Michigan St. Sunday afternoon. Things seemed to be looking up not too long ago, but now they're 10-5-3, which seems to be a record for a bubble team trying to make the NCAA Tournament. Fortunately, their two remaining games before the conference tournament are at home, and their Friday night tilts. This week: Northwestern.
#-5: Vikings (Last Week: Positive Numbers). I'm none too happy the Vikes' potentail for a perfect season ended in their loss to the Steelers. That strip of Favre seems to be typical for someone who slings the ball deep and often, and Chester Taylor really needed to get his hands on that deflection. But this is the Steelers' D, and Favre and Co. did manage to march down the field before they marched all the way back on those two turnovers for touchdowns that sealed the loss. Also, I figured out after I calmed down that many times in the NFL it's the middle-seeded teams that wind up winning the Super Bowl. This loss will be a good way to figure out what they did wrong (little, especially on that bullshit tripping call that negated a touchdown that might've won the team the game), and this should be an opportunity to focus and prepare even more diligently so that won't happen again. This Sunday, but of course: The Most Anticipated Game Of The Year, as #4 goes back to Lambeau Field and plays against the Green Bay Packers, the team that still largely is made in his own image. This should be a fun, and close, game.
In the meantime, relive Adrian Peterson "trucking" William Gay during the Vikings' final drive. I've never heard the verb "trucked" before till this happened, but it seems appropriate. And badass -- which All Day deniably is:
#-6: Wild (Last Week: -3). Well, the expectation that they'd win all their home games but lose all their road games came to a crashing end with tonight's (Wednesday night's) 4-3 loss to Nashville. And the difference in the game was a shorty?! Say it ain't so!! That caps off a terrible 1-3 week, where they won their third game of the season in extra time -- and won their third game of the season, period -- and held a closed-door, players-only meeting after losing 3-1 at Chicago Monday. The topic, apparently, was offense, and they did score more goals against the Predators. That's good, huh? This is rapidly becoming a lost season.
Meanwhile, you wanna know how the Last Original Wild, Marian Gaborik, is doing with the New York Rangers? He started off the season like a bat out of hell, and he leads the Broadway Blueshirts in points and goals. He's also injured, again, which means he likely will miss his return to Xcel to face the Only Team He Ever Knew Till This Year on Friday. Pussy. Hey, the fact that he's back on familiar ground on the shelf (even though it's believed it ain't his oft-gimpy groin this time) should make us fans feel better about not signing him. But his 18 points and 10 goals would lead the North Sta ... er, Wild. (ETA a clarification: Even though the Wild did win a game and neither the Vikings or the Gopher soccer team didn't, they are ranked lower than both teams because of their winless record on the road, their relative offensive ineptitude, and the fact that the franchise's best player ever has gotten off to a fantastic start for his new team.) By the way, the two games the team plays this week are back-to-back; after the Rangers they have to fly to Pittsburgh to face sick Sidney Crosby at the Penguins on Saturday. Totally not fair.
#-7: Gopher football (Last Week: -4). Not only was this team completely uncompetitive in their 38-7 loss at Ohio St. on Saturday, they'll be without WR Eric Decker, the best player on the team, for the rest of the year. He apparently was badass, although his production didn't match what he did in the spread offense last year. And that seems to be the basis of the Star Tribune's Jim Souhan's belief that Coach Tim Brewster could be fired this year, if not next. Decker, QB Adam Weber, et al., was very exciting last year, but all of their production has fallen because Brewster made them go into a pro-style offense this year. That is the fault of the coaching, Souhan says. Maybe so, but I'd give Brewster at least a couple years to see how this new QB, MarQueis Gray, can do. They host Michigan St. Halloween night. If you're going to the game, watch out for trick-or-treaters.
#-8: Gopher men's hockey (Last Week: -6). OK, this is just fucked-up now, and it's not funny anymore. Not only did they get swept by Denver, they got swept by Denver at home. And not only did they get swept by Denver at home, they got swept by identical 3-0 scores. Yes, they didn't score one single fucking goddamn goal either game against the Pioneers while playing in front of their own fans in Mariucci. Denver's the better team, but you can't push the puck past the goalie even once? Not even once?! Adding this to the complete flop of last season, I do not think it's premature to state this program may be in trouble. I'm serious as a fuckin' heart attack. They host two against WCHA dregs Alaska-Anchorage. They'll win those -- right? Right??
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