Monday, October 12, 2009

I'm Sick Of Talking About The Fucking Twins And The Fucking Yankees, So I'm Going To Project My Hate Towards The Dumbest Commercial On TV Right Now:

It's the hip commercial for Miracle Whip.  No, it's not heroin.  It's mayonnaise:



Who in the hell thought you can make mayo cool for twentysomethings? Slate's Ad Report gave it a B thinking that a spot showing youthful images and graphics will influence that twentysomething preparing for a picnic/frolic with other twentysomethings to go grab that jar of Miracle Whip. To which I say, Are we that stupid? If there's any justice people won't buy Miracle Whip because of these dumbass commercials. I mean, it's just mayonnaise, fucking mayonnaise, for God's sake.

I swear, when the actors in this commercial heard what they had to do and what company they were doing it for, they thought to themselves, "I need the money, I need the money."

And tag line: "We Are Miracle Whip, And We Will Not Tone It Down." You threatening me, asshole? I just saw my Twins get ass-raped by the Yankees, the fucking Yankees, again, and you wanna threaten me?!?!?! I better not see you on my TV again. Fucking prick.

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