It was after a dinner and I was either tired or occupied with watching TV or something when My Fucking Father called me downstairs to the computer room. He wanted me to help him order online some software. I don't think he wanted to buy it for that. The software cost $59.99, but the rebate would total $60. So My Father wanted this product because he would make a penny.
Not only did I think that was stupid, I was beside myself that Father would cream his pants over some antivirus software. So I rolled my eyes and sighed as I ordered it for him.
It was bullshit, all the way. My parents usually never pass up a buck, so if there's a rebate, they usually take it -- and I always help them fill it out. It's a pain in the ass, but I do it because hey, free money.
When I type it that way, I have no idea why I didn't even give this rebate a second thought. Partly it's because of the software, which is totally unnecessary. Partly it's because I usually stay away from helping My Fucking Father. And partly because I was busy working and dealing with my feelings over The Store and worrying over Grandmother's health and blah, blah, blah. So when the product came I didn't give it a second thought. I thought to myself, This is his stupid fucking thing, I don't care.
Tonight, while watching the 49ers-Saints game (what a fucking game, huh?), Father calls. "Did you put in the deck yet?" And I go, The deck? Oh, you're trying to say the disk.
"Yeah. We might have to return it if we're too late for the rebate. Check it out."
Oh, shit. There is an expiration date, isn't there? It's been so long since I helped him purchase it, I didn't even remember the month. And when I saw the date and the 30-day restriction, I was fucked. I needed to turn in the fucking rebate -- or return it -- before the New Year.
I tried calling Frys. Anna said it was too late for both the rebate and the return. I threw myself at her mercy. She still said no. Thanks for giving me mercy, bitch.
Do I take the chance of returning it? I mean, there's no real reason we're putting in the software. If we return it, My Fucking Father isn't going to go, "Hey, where's that antivirus software I ordered?" But if I just take the box he's going to know I returned it and he'll yell at me for not installing it in time. I had no choice but to keep it and install it.
But then I looked at the fine print, which, on the form I would have had to mail back (and I will still mail back, just in case) was really in fine print. Then I realized how much of a ripoff this rebate process really is.
I have to send the form as well as the UPC and a copy of the receipt. But to get the full rebate, I have to show that I am replacing another protection software from several specific companies. Furthermore, since they require some proof of purchase by this software being replaced, this rebate is only for antivirus programs that was installed on the computer independently. As far as I know, either Mother purchased the desktop I'm installing this new software on when she bought it, or I downloaded it. Either way, I don't have this proof of previous software.
One final thing: I need to send back the sale receipt. I'm looking all through the box and the packaging. What sale receipt? Where is this goddamn sale receipt? How can this rebate form be complete if you won't give me the stuff I need to send you?
I guess I should have read up on the description before buying this thing for My Father. But this reminds me of the software agreement windows you see on your computer, those long lists of rules and restrictions that you have to agree to in order for it to go through, so you just hit "I Agree" without reading a single word ... and then they don't work. This rebate crap, which I think is being manipulated, is the same murky, underhanded computer shenanigans we are all forced to trust even though we don't understand them because we can't use an essential part of our lives, our computer devices, without them. We get a bad feeling we're walking into something we don't comprehend because they're being created by IT geeks that probably delight in fucking us over. And because of these gotcha rules, My Fucking Father is out $60.
And right now I have an incomplete rebate to return. And I'm going to go through with it because ... well, I need to do something, even if it's too late. I really want to say, Fuck this, I don't care, this is just more bullshit from My Fucking Father. But I know I'll wake up tomorrow and I'll be so fucking sick for dropping the ball and totally ignoring the software. And I will feel so guilty that I'll make sure I pay the $59.99 that won't be rebated, even though the requirements are so onerous, tricky and unfair that getting the penny income from Frys is just about impossible.
Fuck my life.
ETA that I should be more specific about what I hate about what I did. I really don't have a sales receipt. And I don't have any "stand-alone" antivirus software I need to complete this rebate. That's cheating, so I'm not feeling guilty over that. However, I could have sent it back for a full refund for My Father. I can't do that -- despite my pleadings to this Anna, or "Anna" -- because I was too late. That I'll feel sick over. I feel sick about it now.
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