I swear, at some point at work yesterday, while I was just sitting down and looking at papers, my stomach just grew.  Like I was a snake and I swallowed a rat whole.  It's just so weird how it happened, but at one moment I was just doing my thing, cursing the sucky papers I'm looking at, and then I thought to myself ... "Hey, all of a sudden I'm fat."  And then I feel my stomach, which I do often.  I've got a gut, and it didn't feel any different than all the other times I've felt myself, but at that point I felt like the shorts I was wearing were stretching even more than before.  It was weird.

I continue to realize that I need to eat less.  But yesterday I didn't eat more than I usually do.  I have gotten into this routine: Father lays out a banana and an apple for me to take to work; an hour into work I eat the banana before it spoils to much through the day; then after lunch I eat the apple.  My stomach grew some time in the afternoon after eating the apple.

Ever since then I've felt really icky and really guilty.  I've had this urge to exercise, but the community center is closed for Independence Weekend.  And my tummy feels so big that even walking around during this holiday vacation, in the hot weather, won't seem to cut it.  God, I hate feeling this fat.