#-1: Wrestling (Last Week: -2). The most impressive outing from any Minnesota team is the grapplers, who went on the road last weekend and beat two ranked Big Ten opponents, Illinois and Indiana, and fairly handily. Maybe you should expect that because the Gophers are ranked fifth and the Illini and Hoosiers were 21st and 14th, respectively, but these days, from this team, you can't be too sure. They'll get a hell of a reality check Valentine's/Chinese New Year's Night when they host #1-ranked Iowa at Williams Arena. I'll be really impressed if they pull off the upset, but I won't hold my breath.
#-2: Timberwolves (Last Week: -1). A team that goes .500 (2-2) for the week shouldn't be this high, but that's the state Minnesota sports have been recently. It looked good for the Woofie Dogs; their wins were the first two games of the week, which doubled their winning streak to a season-high four. (In particular was their win at Dallas, which broke long losing streaks against the Mavericks, against the Mavericks in Dallas, vs. division opponents this season, and vs. teams with winning records.) They then gutted out a seven-point victory at home against Memphis. Alas, it couldn't last as they completely crapped the bed at Philadelphia to end the winning streak.
I was at the game against Charlotte. Let me tell you, even though they're under .500, the Bobcats, behind Stephen Jackson and Gerald Wallace, can shoot the ball. They were blistering the court at 60%, and the Wolves were trailing at one point by 21. I told my friend they couldn't keep it up, and sure enough, they didn't; in fact, Minnesota went up by as many as 3 very late in the game. But poor rebounding, breakdowns in defense in transition, and an inability to set up offensive sets repeated itself through the very end of their one-point loss to Charlotte. Two guys were going after a Bobcat miss out of bounds, and one of them just threw it behind him to the open court, almost under the basket ... where Nazr Mohammed (who effectively neutralized Al Jefferson all game) picked it up and dropped the ball for the game-winning shot. The Woofie Dogs had one last chance, but they were unable to get the ball on the down low to Jefferson; Wayne Ellington had to fire it up from way behind the 3-point line, and of course it missed. In other words, they seem to be going backwards after making so much progress earlier in the week.
After All-Star Weekend, they begin the unofficial second half of the season at Detroit and Washington (where they'll meet up with the greatest coach the franchise has ever had, the currently embattled Flip Saunders) back-to-back Tuesday and Wednesday.
#-3: Gopher women's basketball (Last Week: -8). It's sad that the third-best team in this survey just broke a six-game losing streak. My friend tonight was musing whether there will be a "Fire Pam Borton" movement, because there should be. Her team was completely uncompetitive in a, get this, 34-point ass-whooping at Michigan Super Bowl afternoon -- and they were almost doubled; the final score was 74-40, for shit's sake. Fortunately, they missed only three of 31 free throws in a seven-point win at used-to-be power Penn St. last (Thursday) night. Unfortunately, those six straight losses point this squad straight into the WNIT unless they somehow win the Big Ten Tournament, something they have never done. This week: home to Ohio St. NBA All-Star Game/Daytona 500 Day, then at Iowa Thursday.
#-4: Wild (Last Week: -4). They get to finish their unofficial first half of the season with five games at home, and sadly they are not going to go perfect this homestand like they need to in order to get back into the Western Conference playoff chase. Although they nipped a game Philadelphia Flyers team, 2-1, they coughed it up against the Bastard Winnipeg Jets Wednesday, 3-2. They play two more games at the X, versus a completely gutted Atlanta Thrashers squad Friday, then Vancouver on Sunday. Wait a second ... the Winter Olympics begin today (Friday); shouldn't the five players from the Wild (three Finns, two from the Czech Republic) be in Vancouver now? Shouldn't the NHL have already gone on Olympic Break?
#-5: Gopher men's basketball (Last Week: -7). My friend who was talking about firing Pam Borton? He invited me to tonight's b-ball game against Michigan. And my Buddha, this team was amateurish; besides free-throw shooting and maybe Blake Hoffarber, no phase in their game -- offense, defense, rebounding, transition, set plays from timeouts, interior defense, preventing dribble penetration, offense in the lane, and my fucking God, holding onto the ball and making good passes -- looked good. There are many stats to point out how they sealed their NCAA Tournament fate last (Thursday) night, but here are the two that really stand out: They had more turnovers, 15-8, and Michigan outstole the Gophers 11-3. The entire game felt very NIT-like, but the home team's the one which lost. Can you say CBI? This week will be a hellish one. Sunday they're on the road to face Northwestern, a team fielding probably its best starting five in a long time and is trying its damndest to get into the Big Dance for the first time. And on Thursday they will host the Border Battle against Wisconsin, which is much better than Minnesota on paper.
#-6: Gopher women's hockey (Last Week: -3). How can this team call itself a favorite (OK, maybe they're not calling themselves that; maybe I am) if they get swept on the road? Sure it was to UMD, which is ranked fifth in the nation. But those same polls have you guys at either #1 or #2. And you guys get your asses blown off, 3-1 and 3-0. You shouldn't be favored for getting to the Frozen Four, let alone a title. I mean, how many times can this squad tantalize us by posing as favorites even if they can't even put up resistance in a hostile environment against a quality opponent? As a result the Bulldogs move up to third in the USCHO and the USA Today polls while the Gophs give up the top spot to Mercyhurst (Minnesota's now ranked #2). I smell another defeat in the national semifinals; just want to throw that out there. They have a home-and-home with St. Cloud St. this weekend.
#-7: Swarm (Last Week: -5). Not good for a nascent team (even if has developed a cult following in its five years of existence), not good at all; they are now dead last in the Western Conference at 1-4 (and have lost three in a row) after losing to Washington, 12-9. Worse than that, that game was the first of a home-and-home series; they get the still-undefeated Stealth at the X Saturday night. They don't turn this around soon, they'll face the end of their season before they know it.
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