Checklist Of Things To Tell Grandmother's Doctor At Her Appointment Tomorrow

• The big thing was Nov. 20, when she accused me of taking her checkbook, prompting Father to yell at her, go into her bedroom (which he never does) and find it for her.
• She is at her worst -- forgetting, acting very slowly and, frankly, pathetically -- when she's trying to find things. It's usually her checkbook, but tonight she just asked me where her identification was.
• These episodes of desperation occur at night. They also usually occur when my parents come home. Father has been nothing but an asshole to her for at least the past decade now, and it's come to the point where she acts different around him. Usually she's quiet but alert and aware; with him at home she is introverted, confused and clingy.
• She is less confused than the last time we saw the doctor, however. Nonetheless, the tradeoff of less frequency of anxiety/forgetfulness attacks is, I think, a lack of sleep.
• Nowadays she no longer accuses me of taking her things. She now thinks that My Father is the one taking her things.
• No angry outbursts since our last visit and the hyperactivity has settled down significantly.
• Since August or so she has displayed a troubling string of outsized facial expressions when reacting to news that is either very strange to her or is obvious. For example, when I told Grandmother I would be going out late at night and coming back in the morning, she squishes her face and sticks her tongue out. I've never seen her do that before until late this summer. Weird.
• She complains off and on about pain. One morning she said she was in so much pain that she felt like dying.
• Grandmother doesn't watch DVD's anymore. She used to be an avid watcher, and it helped in that it stopped her from fidgeting around the kitchen or making food none of the family will eat. But one day, she just stopped. My sister-in-law dropped by the other night to give her burned copies of Chinese miniseries. But she says she won't watch because -- and I might have the wrong word because of my bad Chinese -- watching now makes her confused.
• Father has made her life miserable. Because he insists that she just forgets to turn off the stove and sink and that all she does is run up the gas and electric bills, he has taken away the rice pot in the rice cooker and the wire for the toaster oven. This morning, he somehow was able to unplug the stove, too. It might be a way for him to make her leave ... but this now feels like he's trying to kill her.
• Maybe I'm trying to put too much of a positive spin on things, but maybe her problem is that she has nothing to do. Her best friend is now in assisted living. Most of the others don't come around anymore. And she doesn't go to the casino anymore. Maybe what she needs is an activity, especially something around sunset to help with her sundowning. The cooking going to waste here at home might be put to better use at a nursing home or a bread line or something.