#-1: Gopher men's hockey (Re-Entry!). The U. icers lead a somnabulant, underachieving WMNSS for their one win last night after a 20-day layoff, a 5-1 triumph over Niagara in their annual New Year's Mariucci Classic. They face Northeastern tomorrow in the early evening in a rematch of the 2008 final. They beat the Purple Eagles without the services of Kyle Rau and Nick Bjugstad, both of whom are with the U.S. National Junior's team as they play the Junior World Championships in Canada ... but honestly, a Minnesota program should still beat a Niagara program while shorthanded. That'll be the last game the Gophers play in 2011.
#-2: Wild (Last Week: -Infinity). A 1-2 week, and yet it feels like a gigantic weight has been lifted off the shoulders of this team. With Monday's loss at home to the Bastard Quebec Nordiques, they became the first NHL team since 1999 to win seven games in a row and then lose seven games in a row. They tacked on an eighth Wednesday, shootout style, at Nashville. But finally, goddammit, they won Thursday, 4-3 over Edmonton on Thursday. They're still banged up and still can't score, but at least they figured out how to win again. And they have stopped the freefall with them in fourth place in the Western Conference.
Two games this week: Home to the Bastard Winnipeg Jets New Year's Eve, then at Vancouver Wednesday.
#-3: Timberwolves (Re-Entry!). Don't want to pop anyone's balloon, but amid all the hubbub over how exciting the T-Wolves are going to be this year, their 0-3 start to begin the 2011-2 season now extends their losing streak, dating back to last year, to 18. Tuesday night's loss at Milwaukee -- #17 -- broke the franchise record.
But I have to say that I want to buy into the hype. They have Kevin Love, whose preternatural rebounding prowess seems to have continued this year. Ricky Rubio has been able to pass like Pete Maravich a few times a game, and we haven't yet tired of his shitty defense -- yet. And Michael Beasley can still score buckets, even though he'll have to take, like, six dozen shots to reach 25 points. This team has sucked for so long that, through the draft, they have no choice but to get better. And from the looks of the roster, that time is now.
The three losses have been close, by, respectively, 4, 3 and 2 points. If the trend continues, they'll lose to Dallas by 1 point, play to a tie against San Antonio, beat Memphis by 1 and defeat Cleveland by 2. All four games are this week and at Target Center.
#-4: Gopher men's basketball (Last Week: -1). I saw the end(s) of the Goofs' game at Illinois Tuesday. While it was great to see Tubby Smith finally have a healthy Point Guard in Julian Welch, it was absolutely fucking agonizing to see one of the team's nasty weaknesses, free-throw shooting, rear its ugly head again.
Welch had the chance to give the U. a four-point lead with under a half-minute to go, but he shorted the front end of a one-and-one, and the Illini drew a foul and made their free throws to send the game to the first overtime. Questionable shooting prevented them from winning over a similarly lackluster-playing Illinois team in OT 1, and it appeared that the Goofs just ran out of gas in OT 2, losing 81-72.
I have no idea how this team is going to do. But it's gut-wrenching to see that this team was so close to winning a game they might have had no business of even being competitive in. You can't excuse letting chances slip away just because you're a huge underdog. This club might not win a conference road game this year. This week: at Michigan New Year's Day, then home to Iowa.
#-5: Gopher women's basketball (Last Week: -2). Like the penis ballers, this U. squad went on the road to start B1G play and held tough against a team that should've ran them off the court. They faced an even more formidable opponent, a ranked Purdue. But the outcome was the same: A close (57-53) loss.
So why do I put this team below the U. ballin' men, or even the Woofie Dogs, who lost three games, not one? As I said, I like the upward trajectory of the Wolves. And even though I can't see either Minnesota team winning the NCAA Tournament, I think the men have a better chance of reaching it (however slim) than the women. Which still makes me wonder why we're keeping Pam Borton around. This week: home to Indiana Monday afternoon, then at Northwestern.
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