... I'm feeling very overwhelmed right now. Very. My car's acting up so I'll have to bring it in to see what the fuck's wrong with it now. Then I'll have to pay for it when I don't have money to pay for it. I still want to go to Macy's to see if I can pick up a deal on clothes the last day it's open. But then it's snowing and I don't know if I should go that far. I want to go to the University of Minnesota baseball game versus Indiana St. at the Dome that evening, but I don't want to piss off my parents. And money! And car! And all this worry!!!
At least I remembered that I did plan on doing something tomorrow. I was afraid I would be adrift again, needing to leave home to act as if I'm "working," but I will need to go fix my dentist's bill at the U. Shoot, the mechanic's close by; I'll call in the morning to see if I can bring the car in for them to take a look. I might have no money for it, but as long as I'm in the area I should kill two birds with one stone. I'll be poor, but I'll be efficient in doing so.
I have to control how much coffee I drink a day. I had two cups, one in the late afternoon before I went to "work" in the tube, one in the evening after said "work," and because I felt the car shaking as I was parking before having coffee both times I was panicking. Well, I still have anxiety, but my heart's no longer beating out of my chest. Maybe the caffeine has finally worked its way through my system. But to be honest, I feel a little more calm now that I have finished and posted my latest sports article. I felt writer's block trying to do the piece, but yesterday I finally find an "in," and I pounded it out at Caffetto this evening and into the late night just now.
I need things to go my way. Desperately.
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