So upon not hearing anything after I sent a message saying I could meet with this adviser, her secretary replied to a second one I sent a couple days ago. She can meet me -- the next day. Which is Friday/today. Damn; I was planning to head to the Nomad to see a special edition of Friday afternoon English Premier League soccer (Friday evening to them).
I talked about this adviser/advisor before; she sounds like an unhelpful bitch. And this is what bitches do: Stonewall you, then blindside you by saying she has this one specific time she can meet with you the very next day, so drop everything and see her, or you'll have to wait months. I wouldn't have to wait months, but the next appointment time would be the week fall semester begins, and that's too fucking late. So I have to see her today (Friday).
I am nervous, and therefore expecting the worst. Like I said in my previous post in trying to arrange a meeting with her, I don't know what exactly to ask or to bring to this meeting. I don't think I have all the answers to any questions she might have. In fact, I don't think I can exhibit the drive and determination she might want in someone who is inquiring about entering this program. But that's because all I have our inquiries. I'm not deeply passionate about this, at least not yet. (I indicated in that linked blog post that I thought about taking a class online; no, I did not do that. Because I'm lazy. OK?) I want to do this because because of the job security, which I am now looking for. To do that, I need to know how to prepare myself, and what are the next steps so that I don't embarrass myself from the outset. That's all. But judging by her preconceptions of me, she'll just dismiss me as some over-the-hill hack who doesn't deserve to smell her bloody tampon.
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Carole Bellamy. When I was in college I looked at my bill and saw that the grant I thought I had junior year wasn't there, and that there was an $20,000 hole I had to make up. I was going through some things over the summer where I had to apply to this grant. And when I said I was going through some things, I mean that Mother one day over dinner said that I will go for this major or else they won't pay for my schooling, and I got so depressed I just sat in my room and masturbated the summer away.
When I realized what I had done (or not done), I went to the office of this financial advisor and basically through myself at her mercy. And while I was crying and shaking, do you know what she did? She took a box of tissues and set it right in front of me. I needed $20,000 that I didn't have and she gave me not a damn ounce of sympathy, but instead some fucking knockoff Kleenex. Had to take out loans. I hope that mean cunt is dead.
Now, we're not talking about money here, but I'm afraid that I'll get the same cold, unhelpful, even hostile treatment from her that I got from Carole Bellamy. She might chew me up and spit me out if I don't have the confidence (let alone the answers) she wants from me when we meet. Hell, I don't know what the fuck to expect from myself ... I think I should just go back to school. So I'm just going to take a take-it-as-it-comes attitude, even though that might be the worst attitude to take. Guess we'll see.
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