Expenses Without Receipts

From Monday, August 10:

• Started off yet another week of unemployment (probably) by going to Anelace.  It's on the way to the U.; I thought it would be a good day to go there to pick up some research study fliers.  I'm desperate for money.  (I see that the U. has closed off the student union for now because they found a suspicious bag.  I have great timing.)  With tip: $3.25.
• After visiting downtown to see if the guy who owns the bar we see our games at was there (he wasn't), I went over to the Nomad to see Monday "Night" "Football" on the EPL, where Manchester City went into West Bromwich Albion and kicked the shit out of the ... Baggies, 3-0.  Forgot that Happy Hour there starts at 2, which was the start time of the game.  At least I lucked into getting one of the beers subject to Happy Hour; Lagunitas A Little Sumpin' Extra was pretty good!  With tip: $4.
• On Sunday the 9th I went over to the Minneapolis Institute of Art -- not "Arts," but "Art."  Singular now, unveiled as part of a huge announcement that MIA is undergoing a brand-new branding and marketing campaign.  I'll try and blog about it some other time, but this appears to be another step in the wrong direction.  Anyway, I wanted to see the latest loan MIA is showing before it's gone: Raphael's "The Madonna of the Pinks," on loan from the National Gallery of London.  And what did I see but a block party right in front of the building as a way to celebrate this week's transformation from MIA to "Mia."  (Ugh.)  I couldn't help but celebrate; hey, it is a party, right?  So what do I always do when I want to celebrate?  Buy some food.  There were a couple food trucks there, and I wanted to go to the one with the shorter line: Tatanka Truck, which is serving Native American food.  Got one of the cheapest items there, corn on the cob.  Would have been really nice if the girl actually would've mentioned my name after my corn was ready, instead of letting it sit for a good five minutes.  The corn was fine, but I'm still wondering why in the hell I tipped her for such shitty service.  At least it was only (even with a buck tip): $3.
• And then I threw in the customary donation to "Mia."  No way am I going to fucking give you guys ten bucks.  You'll get: $1.
• Then I went to the place where we usually see our football games, to keep up relations.  But the owner wasn't there.  Hopefully he will be there tomorrow.  Chips, salsa, beer and tip: $10.50.
• Finally I marched right back into My Favorite Stripclub (Non-Cover Division), where that stripper bitch was working -- as a stripper, not as a waitress.  Well, I tried to act like I belonged there, but all I did instead was do my best to avoid her.  I still watched sports and ogled the ladies, but I did get a dance, the first time in a long time, from a vet named Sierra, who was really nice and was really grabby.  The Sprite I ordered was, once again, $2.75.  And I gave a dollar tip.  What the fuck am I doing just pissing away money like this?  Along with stage tips and Sierra: $27.75.
• Friday the 7th: Caribou, for the third day in a row.  Mocha, cookie and tip equaled: $6.
• For the final time I went to Saba's Flowers.  One day I noticed that the flower shop, which was in an odd place to be selling flowers from the outset, was going to close its doors after 30 years in the business.  Being the son of parents who closed down their mom-and-pop business after decades, I wonder if they're shuttering because it's no longer making money or because the owner wanted to do something else.  I hope to God it's the latter, but that may not be the case.  I popped in my head earlier in the week to ask when specifically they are closing.  These are the people I have relied on for flowers when I visit my prom date and my grandmother at their respective cemeteries.  She said Friday.  Well, crap -- I had last seen my friend in late June, and I didn't think to see her again just six weeks later.  But as a tribute to a business that I've needed when I have needed them, I moved up the time I was going to see her from late August to now.  Unfortunately, the person who helped me may have had one foot out the door: She did not ask me if the flowers were going to be in water in half an hour, she didn't throw in flower food (although they may have run out of packets), and she didn't cut the stems at an angle nor put those little tubes of water to keep the flowers moistened.  The service was nice -- the customer service here was always nice -- but, well, that was her last day and I can empathize with her acting like it.  Hey, I got my flowers: $3.21.
• After working out and seeing some guy to estimate the hail damage to my car, I went to the Minnesota RollerGirls punch party at the old Surly Brewing factory (is it a factory?).  Was given three free drinks and I both made it through drinking all of them and then, alas, driving home.  There was also a food truck that made this great brisket with rice pilaf and some excellent slaw and greens.  That meal was comped by the MNRG, so I thank them!  Also, it was only right to at least throw some tips to both the truck and the beer servers.  Near the end I was worried that my stomach was only dealing with the alcohol, so I went back to the truck to get a fried egg with cheese that hit the spot, and I (ahem) took two slices of cake.  Forgive me.  Anyway, tips for the beer and the brisket bowl, then the price for the friend egg and cheese (at that point all the allocated comp money was gone, so I had to pay for that) with tip came out to: $8.
• On Thursday the 6th I started my morning at Caribou.  It's my second straight time here, and even though I think I've been here as many times in the past two weeks as I have the previous two months, I think I might be coming here a little too often.  Mocha, cookie, tip: $6.50.
• For lunch (God, I'm eating so much fucking money) I went to Jersey Mike's.  I went to that place once before after a game at the U., but this is the first time I got myself a "proper" meal -- sandwich, chips and drink.  Not bad, but I don't quite see how these guys are substantially better than Subway.  With tip: $8.75.
• *a***.  More on her later: $120.
• After seeing *a*** I went across town to see this play at the U. that my friend was in.  But I had time before the play to stop by this dive bar called Palmer's, which recently was named one of the best dive bars in America, according to Esquire.  I can say, unequivocally, that it is, indeed, a dive bar.  A Lone Star (one of the notable beers I can drink; everything else just tastes the same) was on sale for four bucks.  With tip it came out to: $5.
• First of all, I thought the play, which is a part of the Fringe Festival, was going to cost me $16 ($12 for the ticket, $4 for a button that is required to gain admittance into any other play in the festival), but it cost me more.  And I guess I wouldn't be so peeved if the play my friend was a part of wasn't so ... bad ... I'm afraid.  The thing about the Fringe Festival that people may not know is that anyone, virtually anyone, can enter this lottery for an hour-long play that they create.  And it doesn't matter how much experience you have.  There are Fringe Fest veterans and there are people who've never done a play before, but it doesn't matter; you put your name in a hat, and you get a spot in a stage around the Twin Cities or you don't.  There is something supremely democratic about that; there is a space, potentially, for people to put up a play that may not be that good.  Unfortunately, the downside is that you will say a play that may not be that good.  My friend was nice, and the music was glorious, but the rest was ... um, shit.  But at least I was able to support my friend.  Ticket cost: $18.
• Wednesday, August 5 ... As long as I'm unemployed, I have time to see my shrink.  But these days he'll be able to see me on Wednesday afternoons.  That runs smack dab in the middle of what I usually do on Wednesdays when I'm on the dole: I go to the nearest library and just veg out there all day.  I see him starting next week, so this particular Wednesday would be the last day I can do that.  So anyway ... I started off the morning by going to Caribou to see my regular barista.  Used up the rest of my gift card (I'll talk 'bout this later, I think) for a mocha and cookie.  Add a tip and you get: $1.75.
• I keep complaining about eating too much to pass the time, yet after having breakfast I go to Arby's for lunch.  First time in a long time I've been able to use a coupon there.  When I came over the cashier was writing down my order on a piece of paper.  When I asked what was going on, she said their computer is down so they're doing everything by hand.  And it appeared as though they didn't (or weren't able to) calculate tax, so they just added raw totals and rounded up.  Bad for them, but good for me!  Total: $6.50.
• Went to this library where I expected to hang out the rest of the day, but for some reason my computer wasn't working.  I thought it was the library, so I decided to drive all the way to another one (where I am writing this EWR now), then I remembered that the reason I could not connect to the first library's wi-fi has to do with my settings.  Once I fixed it, everything was fine.  If only I knew to do that before I drove off.  Oh well; I was able to eat my apple, take a shit and sneak in a nap at a shaded parking ramp.  Now I'm up and working on this at my second library today ... but I had a white mocha IceCrema at the nearby Dunn Bros.  With tip: $4.75.
• On Tuesday the 4th I had this "job" (well, really a research study) at the U., so I had coffee at Anelace because it was on the way.  Had the cheap drip coffee.  With tip: $3.25.
• These types of studies are on the West Bank, and usually I would park at my usual spot and walk all the way across campus to get to the building.  That takes a long time, and one time I got there too late and lost my spot and basically lost money.  Since then, however, I have started to get familiar with the West Bank (which is where the Nomad Pub, noted local soccer hub, is).  There are a lot of parking spots there; however you can only park at these places during the daytime for an hour maximum.  That is perfect for this particular study because it was only one hour long.  So I don't have to walk 15 minutes to the study; I only had to walk 5, was there at the study for a half-hour, and got back to my car and drove off well before my hour was up.  So I made money that day, an Infusion of: $20.
• I planned on going to a movie after the study because it was Discount Tuesday.  It was going to be Trainwreck at 12:30, but once I realized I could get done with the study by 10:30, I could drive to the movie theater and catch the 11 o'clock showing, and that would mean I would have time to fit in a workout in the afternoon.  So I did get to theater ... and realized that there is no 11:00 Trainwreck.  But there was an 11 o'clock screening of Ant-Man, a film I was planning on seeing next Tuesday.  Oh, well, I saw that instead.  Another fitting entry into the Marvel universe.  I liked the microscopic milieu, but there were some, say, far-fetched moments.  Ticket, popcorn and pop: $9.75.
• After taking a nap at the park 'n' ride, I went to the community center, and since I'm out of work right now I can go get a monthly membership because I think I have the time to go enough times to more than make up for the $15 price tag.  When I got done, I saw that their "historical museum" was open.  It's only open once a month, the first Tuesday of the month, and it just so happens that the 4th is that said day.  It was kind of weird; it's just a long room with the door propped open and the lights turned off.  There wasn't many "artifacts"; most of the things there are paper copies of old articles about the city and area pasted and stapled onto boards.  There are also names of the people who built the city, all the way up to Jesse "The Body" Ventura, who was once the city's mayor.  For all the "modest" stuff they offered, I had to make a donation.  So I placed a single dollar in the box near the entrance.  So, the total for my trip the community center is: $16.
• Back to Monday the 3rd, where I had that interview downtown (which I didn't get), and because of that I also went to Anelace because it too was on my way there.  This day I got the more expensive drip coffee.  With tip: $4.
• After work I wanted to go to our place where the club watches games, which is also in downtown Minneapolis, but I saw that the place was closed.  Huh?  Should talk to him.  So I then texted my friend who works downtown to see if she wanted to grab a bite to eat at a food truck, but she already ate.  So I went to Pizza Luce to eat lunch before seeing her for an afternoon walkabout.  Slice of pizza, beer and tip: $10.
• Sunday, August 2: That was the day of our big event.  Went to Tongue In Cheek afterward to decompress.  Really good food, although the surrounding area ain't that great.  I really wanted to make sure that the totally amount of money I spent, when added to the money I paid for the LivingSocial coupon, would be less than the value of the coupon I got.  But the chef/owner was there sitting next to me, even though it was my day off.  And he was nice enough to not only talk but to buy me one of his very unique appetizers.  So I had to fork over: $24.
• And then, to decompress even further, I went to My Favorite Stripclub (Non-Cover Version) where the waitress/stripper that bitched me out wasn't there.  Expensive Sprite, tips and a dance from Danielle equal: $27.75.
• Friday, July 31 -- started off my morning at Anelace for a mocha.  With tip: $5.25.
• Thursday the 30th ... started off my morning at Caribou.  And I finally found that gift card a co-worker of mine from the flu biller place got me over the winter.  I had been meaning to find it, and then to use it, but I had been too lazy to do both until now.  But it's about time, and using it when you're unemployed seems to be the smart thing to do.  Only used money for the tip: 50 cents.
• I was going to eat lunch at the place where we see our games; have to keep up relations, you know.  I was willing to pay for downtown parking, something I am usually loath to do.  But it was then that I realized that these new parking meter stations don't take dollar bills.  No?  Well, the old meters don't take bills, either.  I just figured these new stations are so new-fangled that they would take bills.  Alright, whatever.  I didn't have enough coins and this was a "no credit card" day, so I decided to not eat there.  Hey, it's my principles.  That's when I remembered that Dairy Queen was holding its annual Blizzard Day, where DQ gave a donation for every Blizzard purchased.  It would be a good idea to eat that for lunch; it's a light lunch and I can do some good in the process.  So I went to a mall to eat one.  With tip: $4.75.
• That afternoon I went to a stripper party.  This girl named ****e* told me that she was doing one at, ahem, her mom's place.  I lost my job unexpectedly earlier that week, so I indulged by getting a dance (and feeling up the titties) of each of the four girls dancing.  It was a plus being early to the party; in fact, I was the first one there, which gave me the house all to myself ... well, except that there was a dude there, a cool dude, but a dude nonetheless.  No matter; he didn't bother us during my dances.  We actually did them in a room within the house, where there was only one chair.  That gave me the freedom to take my dick out to the girls who I thought would "appreciate" it the most!  With cover, which was an expensive fifteen bucks: $95.
• To Sunday, July 26 ... used a coupon at Hooters at MOA, then went to Cupcake to eat one of their delicious cupcakes.  Seriously, all cupcakes are good, but the cupcakes at Cupcake ... I don't know, there's something to them.  Also, they make me regular.  Which is a plus.  With tip it comes out to: $3.
• Then I went to Caffetto to hang out.  Just outside there I found a dime on the sidewalk.  An Infusion of: 10 cents.
• Too hot for coffee, so I got a Squirt instead.  Never had Squirt before; I guess I wanted to try it because Caffetto has a wide selection of craft soft drinks.  Is Squirt still a national brand of soft drink?  Was it ever?  With tip: $3.
• Saturday the 25th -- Went to Taco Bell, but because I had plans I got there before 11.  To me, the 10 o'clock hour is an eating No Man's Land, at least during the week (during the weekend it's totally brunch time) -- too late for breakfast, too early for lunch.  I got there and it literally took me five minutes to decide whether I should eat breakfast or go through my original plan when I decided to eat at TB (but before realizing I would get there before 11) and try their new Bacon Club Chalupa.  I was going to eat lunch early, but then I saw this wall cling that said I could get a free Kickstarter if I bought a breakfast item.  I never tried Kickstarter, and I never wanted to.  But hell, I'll try anything for free!  So I bought a biscuit in order to get that free drink, as well as a California wrap.  But when I looked at the total, something wasn't right.  I was looking at the prices on the menu and made some quick calculations, and it wasn't adding up.  So I took a good look at the receipt and saw that I was charged 30 (or maybe it was 20) cents more for my biscuit and 30 cents more for the wrap.  When I brought it to the guy's attention, though, all he did was say, "Well, I guess we need to change the menu."  Ah, wrong: You should have given me a refund for the difference.  I hope it's not too late to complain to them on their feedback website.  Begrudgingly I put on a shit-eating grin and shelled out: $5.24.
• I then went exercising.  Admission: $3.
• On Friday, July 24th I went to *******a's party.  This is where this happened.  I forgot the fact that to make up for me whipping it out and her accidentally biting my dick, I gave her a second dance, which is something I don't do.  Plus dances from the host ********a and ****e* and tip and it's an even: $100.
• Went to My Favorite Late-Night Italian Place afterward for a California burger and fries.  With Coke and tip: $6.50.
• Wednesday the 22nd: Had time before work to go to Caribou for a coffee, and I was feeling frisky, so I also got cinnamon bread.  With tip, I think it came out to: $4.
• After work, and knowing that I didn't have too much at this particular test scoring place before I would have no reason to be around this part of town till next scoring season, I hit this restaurant close by called the Sunshine Factory.  The reviews on Yelp weren't great (complaints centered around the food and the service), but hey, it was a place I hadn't been to before, so I wanted to go there at least once.  Got a huge plate of salsa rather quickly and it was ... well, it was hot and chip-like, so no complaints there.  With beer and tip: $9.
• Decided not to eat at home this day, so I instead went on my computer and "worked" while at Caffetto, where I think I got a mocha.  With tip: $4.75.
• Sunday, July 19 ... worked out: $3.
• Then at the library I printed out e-mails for my parents.  Real estate stuff.  A lot of papers: $2.40.
• And then I read on the Internet that it was National Ice Cream Day, so I had to celebrate by going to Sebastian Joe's, one of the best ice cream shops in town.  And I think I allowed myself a second scoop this day ... you know, to celebrate.  With tip I think it came out to: $6.
• Finally, on Saturday the 18th I was at My Favorite Stripclub (Non-Cover Division), back when there was no drama, back when I felt safe and happy there, back before they didn't jack the price of pop to $2.75.  Tips and Sprite: $7.  (ETA at a little before 5 p.m. on Friday, August 14 that my recollection was totally wrong.  This was, in fact, the day where I no longer felt safe and where in fact there was drama, as I chronicled here.  But the amount is still correct.)

I think I am through to August 10.