So the experiment I'm doing now is unlike any I've ever done before. Many aspects of it are familiar, but they haven't been squished together like this. Add other new wrinkles on top, and I'm sure I'll never see the likes of this study ever again.
First off, it's long. It was supposed to be 14 consecutive workdays of dropping by this office. That would have been fine, even great, had I not realized that there was a vacation right in the middle of this study. Like I said before, I wish I knew, because then I wouldn't have been out $40. If I knew, I would have either called and set this all up sooner or pushed it back until after I came back from my vacation. Either way I would've crammed in all of my visits instead of missing two of them.
Also, this study, which I found on a flier at the University of Minnesota, isn't being done at the U. It's being done in downtown Minneapolis; while I remember going to a breathing study in Nordeast once, this is the first time I've ever tried to find parking in order to go do an experiment. That has brought up its own predicaments. They reimburse you for parking (after the whole experiment's over and not when you could use the money, of course), but finding it has become a huge hassle. I have had to walk a few blocks over the office because I couldn't find anything closer. They put down new black tar on Washington Ave. a few days ago, thereby eliminating a bunch of spots I could've used. And for how long do I reserve my spot for? Guess it doesn't matter since the study will pay for it, but I still don't want to pay for too short a time or too long a time. The rules state (and they can be a little fudgy) that they will only pay up to a half-hour before and a half-hour after your appointment. So far so good, I reckon; now I just need to make sure I have my receipts with me.
From then on the study looks kind of familiar. It's one of those things where they strap a net of electrodes on your head to record brain activity related to eye movement ... maybe? That's done while I'm playing a series of games, which is something I've done before. What is new to me, however, is the absolute difficulty of playing this game. I swear, this takes me back to the times I was playing on my brother's Nintendo or Super Nintendo and I threw the controller across the room because I got frustrated over losing.
I can't reveal too much, partly because I shouldn't say what it is, partly because I can't explain it myself. But this is what I can tell you. All of the games are played by pushing both shift keys. Each game has its own set of rules. Some of them are difficult. Some others are just impossible. Here is an example of one of those impossible games: You see this part on a ring with a color on it. If the color is blue, you then look at the shape of the head. If it matches the one you saw three parts ago, hit left shift; if not, hit right shift. Now, if the color on this ring is red, you look at the logo on the body. If the logo on that body is military in nature, hit right shift; if not, hit left. Oh, and if you see an additional yellow ring while looking at this part, you don't hit either shift key. And by the way, you're timed at this, so not only do you not get any points if you hit the wrong button, you may not get any points if you don't hit a button in time. Unless you see a yellow ring, in which case you do wait so you do get the points, otherwise that part gets zapped.
See what I mean? Not all of them are that complex, but some of them are, and when I see those very hard ones (especially the ones that ask me to remember what I saw two or three parts ago), honestly, I kind of check out and go, "OK, I'm gonna shit the bed on this one." And when the two minutes are up and see that I missed more than half of the parts (and by the way, I'm not completely convinced that is true; I think this game is trying to fuck with me), I flash both middle fingers at the laptop screen and hope that I'll be done with it soon.
I get so demoralized after I'm done that, on Thursday, I forgot to take my hat and watch from the station I was at before leaving. It was a very busy day, what with trying to get to a stripper party immediately after that and then the Saints game in St. Paul that evening. But after that net of electrodes was peeled off of my scalp I couldn't wait to get the fuck out of Dodge, so much so that I left some things behind.
Honestly, I am working way too hard to continually fail at these games. I hope that's part of the overall design. But with this experiments, there is always some ulterior motive lying underneath. I don't know what that is, and frankly, it's not important. I just want to be done with it and collect my money ASAP.
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