Yeah, I Blew The Interview

I don't know why, I don't know how, and really, I don't really know.  But I think I blew it.

How?  When?  Well, there is a lot of customer service with this job.  And even though I knew that going in, and even though the "customers" actually will be people who will have to call in from time to time, I won't be forced into a situation where I'm yelling at random people who think they can yell at me because I'll probably never talk to them again.  You will behave if you will be in consistent contact with a person, especially in the job I'm looking for.  But, well, I may have been spooked by that phrase "customer service" and flashed back to all the times I got disrespected and yelled at patrons when I was an usher.  I wasn't that bad -- really!  But I guess I should have prepared myself for that line of questioning.

Or, maybe I blew it when she asked me how I justified going into a job that isn't my major?  That's a good question, and even if I had the forethought to know she was going to ask that ahead of time, I still don't think I could come up with a pat, "correct" answer I should say during an interview like this.  She then doubled down by noting that they want people who'll stay there a long time.  Sister, there is nowhere else I can go.  No one else wants me.  Hey, maybe I should have practiced canned answers.  But I didn't, and it feels as though I'm going to get punished for that.

Well, maybe it was when the interview was over.  See, I was told that there is a third interview to be done, and I thought there was a chance that interview would happen right after this second interview.  If that was the case, I didn't go through that third interview because the interviewer right then and there decided I shouldn't have the job.  She said I would know either later this week or next week.  There's a chance that she already knew she didn't want me.

And at any rate I forgot to shake her hand after the interview.  Well, maybe that sealed it.

Man, I don't know about these interviews.  I really want the job, but I never feel as though that gets conveyed during interviews.  I texted my sister-in-law at how vexed I am, but you know, I can't help but be me.  I thought I was me in that interview -- hemming, hawwing, deliberate, knowing what good I can do but upfront about what I don't know.  Shoot, man, I'm genuine, 100%, 100% of the time.  Yes, I have my doubts.  Who doesn't?  Does that mean I can't get a full-time job that pays well and that I like, ever?

My Father keeps yelling at me to find a job with benefits.  You know, maybe I'm just not supposed to have one.