It's back at the health insurance company. Yep, after striking out the previous year, my phone interview Wednesday for this particular job went so well that at the end she surprised me by wanting to schedule an in-person interview. The Human Resources pointwoman really wanted me to come in Thursday, but dammit, I really thought I owed it to the guys here at the test scoring place to give them more than less than 24 hours' notice that I will be skipping core hours, so I asked for Monday afternoon.
I really, really, really hope I don't get punished for that decision. That's just one of a litany of things I'm scared I will screw up in or for the interview. For one thing it's midnight and I'm dead tired. I didn't get the nap I needed because my parents wanted me to help with some e-mail shit. For another I am breaking in a new shirt I just bought for thirty bucks at Target (aside: that may be the most expensive single item I have bought at Target ever -- no kidding) and for some damn reason I'm scared that it'll be so uncomfortable I'll scratch my way through the interview. And speaking of the interview, it'll be with a person who I don't know but am sure I have run across a few times. It's in the same department I've worked at the previous two years, but for the life of me I can't remember her face at all. Will she be upset if I don't greet with her with some warmth? And for a third thing, the weather. Will I get there on time or will the rain delay me? And what if my entire suit gets soaked -- will that make a good impression?
And I haven't studied up on the types of questions she could ask me, crap! What are my biggest weaknesses? Tell me a situation where I had to solve a problem? How do you deal with difficult clients? How in the fuck am I supposed to answer those things?! Let me be kind of arrogant; there's a part of me that thinks that this job is mine for the taking. But let me now be paranoid; there is another part of me that wants to sabotage this whole thing. Maybe this lack of preparation is the devil of my worse nature winning.
Crap. I should be taking this more seriously. But what happens if I screw up, or if something gets screwed up? Or, maybe I'm worrying much more than I should, and in fact that lack of confidence will be the reason I lose this job? Fuck all if I know what to do.
Maybe I should just go to bed now and sleep well enough to be rested for the afternoon.
Wish me luck.
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