Tuesday, May 23, 2017

Expenses Without Receipt

OK, starting from Monday, May 22:
  • Actually we have to go back to Sunday the 21st, where I hung out with a couple of fellow Mensa members for the Northeast Art-A-Whirl.  I had something called the Beechcomber (?) at Bauhaus Brewery.  Nice beer, but I liked the brewery better.  With tip: $7.
  • An art crawl is nice, and I should do it more often.  I have noticed that I have been giving to charity more often nowadays.  Maybe it's a reaction the Trump presidency.  But I'm doing my small bit, such as donating to Art-A-Whirl: $2.
  • Had to skip out of crawl because United was playing at 4.  Close game, but they lost, and now they have a losing streak.  I got there just in the nick of time, but the line was packed.  Mental note: Get there early, save myself the aggravation.  Got my usual hot dog and Redd's: $14.50.
  • Went to My Favorite Stripclub (Non-Cover Version) after the match.  Haven't been there in a long time, and it looks like they're introducing a bunch of new girls to the roster.  I tipped all of them, but I got an LD from the only "veteran" I've seen there before, Dakota.  Knocked my socks off.  With Sprite and tips: $31.75.
  • On Saturday the 20th, after work, I traveled down to Canterbury Park.  From work (at least the site I'm working at now) I can get to the track in almost 15 minutes.  That makes it too easy to feed my degenerate gambling jones.  Which is even worse considering that I am horrible at picking horses.  That continued for the three races I bet on this day, including the Preakness.  Hell, I thought that the favorites for the Kentucky Derby would automatically compete for the Preakness.  But no, not this year, not when I'm betting on them.  Fuck Always Dreaming.  And who the hell is Cloud Computing???  That's when I regretted not taking that free voucher I got from the track (for two bucks) and immediately leaving.  That's when I also knew that the best money I spent at Canterbury was the Beef Stroganoff that was on special.  With a program (you have to pay for a program??), an Elysian Superfuzz (with tip), the whole "entertaining" day out cost me: $30.
  • I had to skip out to the library because I had to print out this PDF regarding a business deal in Vegas that Father believes was shady.  You know, I should talk about this some time.  I also printed out an e-mail string that's related to this.  Total: 40 cents.
  • Back to Thursday, May 18, where I went out to my first party in a long time.  I got invited out by ***y, who I promised I would have fun with the last time I saw her.  She didn't disappoint.  I, however, did.  After bargaining her down to $120, I had to jerk myself off before my four songs were done.  Sometimes I wonder if I'm getting too old for this shit.  But hey, at least she bit my thighs.  On the bright side, I finally saw ***e* for the first time in months!!!  And by God, she is fucking huge -- more than seven months pregnant!!!  I usually don't get dances from ladies who are expecting because I think that's gross, but this is my friend ***e*, and for $20 she still touched my pee-pee for a little bit.  Plus -- and this is most important -- she remembered me and my travails, including my rocky relationship with my old man.  Now that's a friend.  Unfortunately I didn't have the time or the money to get down with the other two chicks there.  I swear they're good to go, if only I could get them in a room alone.  With cover: $160.
  • To Wednesday the 17th -- one of these days as I'm pulling a double shift I have to come home and actually shower.  What had prevented me from doing so is being so tired that I had to fall asleep before my hair dried and being afraid that it would cause brain damage or something.  So I took advantage of getting cut from work early to go to Great Clips (I was in the area where a stripper was cutting hair, but she apparently quit).  Have a receipt for the car, so this EWR is tip only: $3.
  • Back on Sunday the 14th I finally got back to some EPL watching.  I was at The Local, where I plopped myself down for a hearty breakfast of something.  With beer (I think) and tip (I know): $13.50.  (ETA on 11:39 a.m. on May 28 that that price can't be right.  I got the receipt -- I list it here because I include the tip, which is not on the receipt -- and the price before tip is $13.35.  And I'm not a bad tipper, so I re-calculated the price and, with tip, I have got to have given them: $15.75.)
  • Later that afternoon I went to the library to print out an invoice for my folks: 10 cents.
  • Friday, May 12: Went to the Gopher baseball game against powerhouse Long Beach St.  My old card still works, thank Buddha.  Program, hot dog, souvenir-sized Coke: $12.
  • Afterwards I went to My Favorite Stripclub (Non-Cover Division), where I didn't get a lap dance.  Just coffee and tips: $7.75.
  • I finished my night at Glam Doll, where I was too stuffed to get more than one donut.  I know, it's a change of routine.  But eating there is expensive!  With tip: $10.36.
  • Thursday the 11th ... OK, so maybe it was only two weeks between parties.  But I hadn't seen *******a in a long time, and even though her parties are tame, I wanted to see her and check up on her.  ******y was also there, and even though she is dirty, she had to play clean for this party.  Didn't prevent me from flashing my cock on her while she was smoking out front.  There was a third girl there.  She was new, and she is *******a's protege.  She needs some work, because she didn't take off her top when I got a lapdance from her.  But she took it off for all the others.  WTF?  I suspect racism.  Got one $20 dance from all three girls, and plus cover the total for the night came out to: $95.
  • Track it back to Tuesday, May 9, where I had time to finally get my car washed.  I went to Waterwerks, the place on Louisiana just off 394 that for years was the Mermaid.  Hmmm.  Can't complain; the wash and service was great.  Just wish it didn't fucking rain an hour after I got my car washed.  Have a receipt for the wash, so this is tip only: $3.
  • Then I went to the Bulldog at Uptown to visit a friend who was in town to bury her grandmother.  Her friends were there, none of whom I know except for this real annoying one.  Didn't have to talk to him.  Didn't talk to any of her friends because one of their sons held a conversation with me for the hour we were there.  Wow.  Got a Belgian tap, which is a buck off on Tuesdays.  With tip: $6.
  • Back on Sunday the 7th there was another United match, and ... OK, maybe I did change up my eating routine this time.  I got a Redd's, but I also got Surly-battered cheese curds, which were really good, even though it was overpriced and, have to admit, I wasn't all that hungry.  Total: $17.
  • Remembered to drop off my old Whistler soda bottle at Blue Sun.  There was a huge bottle drive the day before, but I missed it because I was busy at the track.  But they still need bottles, so I exchanged an empty one for a filled one, which I drank that evening to wash down the Pizza Hut we had.  Total for the pop: $1.58.
  • Saturday, May 6 was Derby Day.  Even though I was working at Plymouth this day, I still had the wherewithal to go down to Shakopee because I thought I was going to win big.  No, I did not.  made three bets, lost all of them.  Well, at least I didn't spend money on food and drink there.  With the price of admission: $20.
  • That evening I went down to Glam Doll.  I should write about this: The guy there, who I've seen regularly at Glam Doll, decided to give me my first donut and coffee for free.  I was so stunned I didn't get my customary second donut.  Shit, I should talk about this.  Tips only for the free food: $3.
And I am good through May 22.

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