Monday, April 2, 2018

The Weekly Minnesota Sports Survey

#-1: Gopher softball (Last Week: -4).  We're about to get, like, half a foot of snow, and it's April, so under that mist of rage I say this: Minnesota weather is kind of fucking up outdoors sports right now.

It did a number on the softball club's first series this year, against Illinois, this past weekend.  Before the series even began, the U. announced that because the weather on Saturday -- which was going to be the day of the second game of the series -- was bad, that match would be moved up to Friday as part of an afternoon doubleheader.  I find that weird that both the Gophers and the Fighting Illini will have this Saturday off before playing on Sunday.

But the weather wasn't what I would consider awful, at least in terms of Minnesota winters is concerned.  It was cold (at least for late March) and the wind was howling, but there was no snow.  In fact, the sun broke out in the afternoon.  The weather was similar on Sunday, and that morning they decided to just cancel the Sunday game.  Again, I kind of thought that with long sleeves and the moving around in softball, you could play the game, but I ain't no athlete.

So the team had just two games this screening week, and lucky for them, they were both victories.  Congratulations go out to Sophomore Pitcher Amber Fiser, who tossed her first No-Hitter in Friday's 6-0 win over Illinois.  Minnesota won the nightcap (afternooncap?), also 6-0.

Next weekend they are at Michigan St.  I assume they will be able to play all three games without incident.

#-2: Gopher baseball (Last Week: -2).  So I'm going to U.S. Bank Stadium Saturday afternoon for the first the first half of my Twin Cities sports doubleheader, and I have two thoughts.

First, I had to haul all my stuff out of my storage unit into another unit before going to the game -- blog post coming -- but even though I got out of there late, I thought I still had time to park and get to the game because, let's face it, the University of Minnesota Golden Gopher baseball team does not draw a crowd.  But for some damn reason there was a line, a huge line, one for both the two ticket windows and then for the two security lines.  I don't know where in the hell the crowd came from, although the U. advertised the contest as Kids' Day, but there have been many U. baseball games advertised as Kids' Day, I swear.  But the crush of people meant that I had to wait in lines for 15-20 minutes.  I walked into the stadium with St. John's already having runners on First and Second Base.  There was no reason for me to keep score of the game then.  There was no reason for me to bring my tote bag, too.  They may have been surprised at what probably is The Greatest Crowd For A Gopher Baseball Game I've Ever Seen, but I can't see how they couldn't respond to that crush by adding a box office person and security line.  Don't understand it.

Second, on my way to Ooos-Bahnk Stadium I saw at least one family and maybe a few other groups wearing St. John's gear.  But when I looked closer at a kid's hooded sweater, it said "Johnnies."  I don't know if you know this, but there is a St. John's in Minnesota.  You may have heard of John Gagliardi; he coached the Johnnies for 60 seasons and has the most wins of any HC in football history.  Anyway, I wonder if these fans knew that the St. John's they're seeing isn't the St. John's they want to root for.  They do know that this St. John's is the one in Queens, New York and not the one in Collegeville, right?  And then I thought about it: Even if the parents are alums, would they know the players on St. John's?  So now I can understand if they thought Minnesota was playing St. John's (MN) instead of St. John's (NY).  They just wanted to bring their kids somewhere; they didn't think they needed to look up which St. John's the Golden Gophers are playing.

OK, end of my thoughts.  Hey, they won two-of-three, including the 6-3 victory I attended!  But Saturday's 9-8 win was wilder, and in fact may be the weirdest game in top-flight college baseball this year.  The Golden Gophers were down, 8-4, heading into the bottom of the Ninth.  But they scored five in the Inning to win, 9-8.  That half-Inning featured four Walks, which is strange enough.  But there were two Balks -- yes, Balks.

The second one ended the game, a "balk-off" that probably comes once in a blue moon.  But we have to highlight the first Balk.  The call of the Balk (which plated the third of the U.'s five Runs) resulted in the ejection of Red Storm Manager Ed Blankmeyer.  After that, St. John's Catcher Wyatt Mascarella met with a Coach (which one, the U. doesn't say).  The Gophers said that constitutes a third Mound Visit in an Inning (even though Mascarella and his Coach did not meet on the mound, I don't think), and by rule, that meant the Red Storm had to change Pitchers.  The officiating crew took 20 minutes to figure that out.  Finally, they decided that Pitcher Chris Henry had to leave the game.  He was replaced by Joe Kelly, and he gave up the Sacrifice Fly and committed that second Balk to end the game and give Minnesota a one-of-a-kind victory.

And hey, even though it was raw as hell outside, it was clear (and warm!) inside.  Too bad outdoor weather around these parts wreaked havoc with other sports ... and it's not just confined to the Twin Cities.  The Nine was supposed to travel to St. Louis to play Saint Louis for a midweek two-game set, but "inclement" weather cancelled both games.  So hey, it saves the program a trip!  They will be hosting Penn St. for a three-game series this weekend ... at Siebert Field, for the first time all season.  We'll see if the weather allows them to actually play any of those games.

#-3: Twins (Re-Entry!).  They started the season pretty well, winning two-of-three at Baltimore against The Bastards St. Louis Browns.  The early strength has been starting pitching, which started the season with a combined 21 no-hit Innings.  Kyle Gibson pitched six no-hit Innings on Saturday while striking out six, and Jose Berrios went the distance with a Complete Game, Three-Hit Shutout Sunday.  Jake Odorizzi K'd seven in six Innings on Opening Day and the Twins plated two in the bottom of the Ninth Inning to tie it, but Fernando Rodney gave up a meatball to Adam Jones to end the game in the 11th.

Today, however, Lance Lynn dug a deep hole in the first for the Twins as the club served as foes for the second home opener, this one for the Pittsburgh Pirates.  He did settle down for his three other Innings, and the Twinks did make a game of it, but those five Runs Lynn gave up were too much to overcome as the Pirates remained undefeated, 5-4.

We'll see how things go, of course.  But one thing I am looking at: Brian Dozier has started off hot for the team, and yet, because he shut down talks for a contract extension, it feels as though this is his last year with Minnesota.  This early output feels like an audition for the squad that will give him the money that he believes he deserves.

The club has two days off this week, and this series versus the Pirates is only two games.  They have tomorrow off, play the Pirates early Wednesday evening, then fly back home to finally begin play at Target Field (assuming it's warm enough) Thursday afternoon vs. Seattle.  That Mariners series is only three games as they will also have the day off after the series opener, which is Friday.

#-4: Wild (Last Week: -3).  I'm getting this image that, personified, the Wild and the Timberwolves are a pair of asshole brothers who can't do anything right.  They lost to Nashville, but in a Shootout because Eric Staal (who is far and away the team's MVP) scored late to send the game, giving the Mild a loser Point.  They then held serve with The Team That Was Stolen From Us in a home-and-home.  However, Ryan Suter left Saturday's defeat, and reports report that he broke his fibula.  The franchise is saying he's out "indefinitely," but if Suter, who leads the league in Minutes Played, does have a broken leg, he's done for the year.

And that doubly sucks because Jared Spurgeon, arguably the best Defenseman on the squad after Suter, is also hurt, although he should be back soon.  He can't come back a moment too soon, because although they seem slated for a playoff spot, they finish with a roadtrip at the three California teams.  That's what makes tonight's tilt vs. Edmonton, the final game at the X, so important.  With a win and help, the team could sew up a playoff spot, as coughing and wheezing as they are.  A loss, or even a loser Point?  They need to hang on for dear life as they face three teams that have something to play for.

#-5: Timberwolves (Last Week: -1).  Technically the Woofie Dogs had a better week because they won two games while the Mild won only won.  (Both teams lost twice in the screening week.)  But there are a few factors that made it clear to me that the pro basketball team needs to take a backseat to the pro hockey team.

They had a relatively easy week, playing three teams eliminated from playoff contention.  They needed to sweep all three because the Western Conference is packed so tightly.  But while they crushed Atlanta at Target and somehow staved off the Mavericks in Dallas (sweeping the season series for the first time in a long time), they somehow lost to The Bastard Vancouver Grizzlies, a team that had not won on the road in 2018, and in a fashion worse than indicated by the final score of 101-93.  Then on April Fools' Day/Easter, former Wolf Ricky Rubio lit up the Wolves as The Bastard New Orleans Jazz, a team, like the Woofie Dogs, in line for a playoff spot, crushed them by 24.  That Utah victory slipped them past Minnesota for sixth in the West and, for now, relegated our team to a first-round matchup with the Dubs.

Worse than that, the two games they have this screening week are on the road, and they're back-to-back.  The Lakers may not be a problem, but that's on Friday.  On Thursday, the Woofs play Denver for the first time in six days.  The Nuggets are fighting like hell for a playoff spot (they're ninth), and they have two shots against the squad that now looks like the ripest target to slip out of the playoff race.  And they have them at the Pepsi Center.  Plus, Jimmy Butler ain't walking through that door, and the short bench cannot help a starting rotation whose legs probably are now ten years older than the rest of the body after Tom Thibodeau have put them through hell all year.

In other words, things are looking awfully, awfully bad for this team to break their playoff drought.  And to think these guys were third in the West a month ago.  SMDH.

#-6: United FC (Last Week: -6).  In the back half of my Twin Cities sports doubleheader, I walked all the way to TCF Bank Stadium to watch the Loons play fellow expansion brother Atlanta United.  I dressed warmly and yet I was still cold due to the howling wind that made it feel like the trench of wintertime.

And, infuriatingly, Atlanta won -- albeit 1-0, not the 6-1 curb-stomping in our "Snowpener."  It came, again, early (3'), and, again, off a Corner Kick, but it appears as though it was an Own-Goal off of Captain Francisco Calvo.  Even more infuriating, the Loons lost despite Atlanta Defender Leandro Gonzalez Pirez being Red-Carded after picking up Yellows in the first and 38th.  It did look as though Atlanta parked the bus for the last 52 minutes of the match; despite peppering the ATL with 13 Shots, MNUFC could not pick up that equalizer.  It's good that, technically, they kept Atlanta out of the net, but, you know, horseshoes and dancing and stuff.

They are the only team in the Twin Cities not to win a single game this screening week, but there is another reason these guys are in the bottom of this survey.  There has been much teeth-grinding about the organization failing to sign a Designated Player.  Welp, last week they signed one: Darwin Quintero, a Colombian Midfielder who was sitting on the bench for Club America of Mexico's Liga MX.

I'm not excited about this DP as others are -- or as I usually am about DPs (rimshot).  Although Quintero is listed as an MF, he is an attacker, and more like a winger, and if there is one thing this side does not need, it's an attacker or a winger.  Those guys needs a defender.  Hell, what they really need is a #10 (I still don't know what that means, I have just seen a lot of people say that they need a #10, so I'm chiming in).

Worse than that in my mind, however, is the reason he was lashed to the bench with America.  He kicked a ball at a reporter for ESPN Deportes while he was doing a stand-up.  Not only does that raise maturity issues, but I already don't like this Quintero dude because #IStandWithTheMedia.  I don't think Quintero's going to get along with the local beat writers.  So now you've spent money and used up a DP spot on what probably is the first notorious player on a pro sports team that is only in its second year of existence.  Is that a good thing?

Off till the 14th.

No comments:

Post a Comment