Expenses Without Receipts

Starting from Saturday, April 21:

• Saturday was not only the second anniversary of Prince's death, but it was also Record Store Day.  (And just before I started typing this, I found out it was Earth Day, too.  These three events are going to clash together for the rest of my life, won't they?)  It's great that this year, RSD appears to coincide with the first real weekend of the spring.  It's crazy to remember that this time last week we were in the middle of digging out of, at least in my town, 18 inches of snow.  Most of that snow has disappeared from our front yard, and assuming that there won't be any more snow for the rest of the season (you never know!), all of it will be gone soon.  Plus it was sunny and warm out, it felt like the entire Twin Cities was at a record store, or at least outside, enjoying the weather for the first time all year.  It was great.  Anyway, I wanted to just enjoy RSD by thumbing through vinyl records and not buying them because I don't have a record player.  But I do have a mouth, and on this day I celebrated by eating and drinking my way through my record store crawl.  It started at Flashlight Vinyl, where the place called, and I think I'm getting the name of it wrong, SSSSSSSSSSSSDUDE-NUTZ, had its truck outside.  It's a donut shop that used to have a brick-and-mortar place at the U.  They closed that down to be mobile only, but I remember that they had great-tasting donuts with the weirdest names possible.  That hasn't changed; I got the I Don't Fuck Witchu, a combination of chocolate and buttercream.  It was fantastic, so much so that I didn't totally mind how goddamn expensive it was.  Plus dollar tip: $4.
• I then went to the Electric Fetus, which was incredibly busy (at least on this day) despite the Franklin Ave. Bridge still being constructed.  There were so many customers at this site wearing purple.  Is it because the Fetus is the most well-known record store in the Twin Cities, or did they naturally go there because Prince was there for RSD '16 just a few days before his death?  Anyway, I went to the Fetus because I knew they had a few food truck there and I wanted something for lunch.  I decided on O'Cheeze and got their Mac sandwich.  Chips came with; it was good going down my throat and, not to be too graphic, coming out of my butthole.  With tip: $9.
• Then I went to Hymie's, named RSD in the TC for 2018, at least according to City Pages.  I loved the set-up; they closed down a corner to set up a stage in the middle of the street straddling Hymie's (and the coffeeshop at the corner) with a restaurant on the other side of the street.  The Fulton Brewery set up shop on the parking lot of that restaurant to serve beer.  Now I understand why it was given this year's award.  The Southside Aces, a Dixieland jazz group that ended their set with their rendition of Lady Gaga's "Bad Romance," tore it up.  And I liked the can of Fulton Standard that I bought, too.  (Oh, I browsed Hymie's -- fun and funny place.)  The beer plus tip cost me: $6.
• Finished my RSD crawl with a quick trip to Fifth Element.  No food trucks or drinks there, but Sebastian Joe's was up the street, and I hadn't been there in a year.  And it just so happened that they made City Pages' Best of issue, for Best Dessert.  I got said dessert, their chocolate chip cookie sandwiches.  I got the one filled with their famous raspberry chocolate chip -- tasty!  And expensive.  With tip: $7.
• Went back home, slept for a second, ate dinner, took a shit, then went back out.  Went to My Favorite Stripclub (Non-Cover Division) just because.  But I've noticed something that's happened the past few times I've been there: When I ask for a dance, that dancer asks me to pay for a drink.  Is this a thing now?  Have the strippers coordinated on this?  Is such a practice now mandated by the bar?  I acquiesced because I wanted to get a dance from the interesting and big-boobed Belle, but that Long Island Iced Tea is no monetary joke.  With coffee for me, and stage tips, it all came out to: $42.75.
• Because I spent so much goddamn money I didn't mind picking up a quarter I saw on the bar floor.  An Infusion of: 25 cents.
• I then went to Glam Doll Donuts (I'm blogging this part of EWR here right now).  Haven't been here in a couple weeks.  All told, with tip: $10.38.
• Let's go back to Wednesday the 18th, where I was coaxed out to My Favorites Stripclub (Non-Cover Version) because a few veterans who no longer work there said they were raising funds to the Humane Society.  I gave $20 to one of the girls there, but since she may have been drinking at the time, I'm not totally confident that she didn't pocket the money to use for herself.  Meanwhile, another girl asked me to buy a shot and a Diet Coke for her ... and when I tipped the bartender, she took one of those dollars and pocketed it herself.  Now when you're running a fundraiser, why in the fuck are you taking money for yourself?  Plus stage tips, coffee for me and a dance with a girl named Lotus so she wouldn't bitch about me not giving her five bucks onstage, and it all came out to: $64.
• On Sunday the 15th I was getting cabin fever.  The day before was when the heaviest of the blizzard fell -- about a foot, I believe.  There was supposed to be between three and six more inches falling on this day.  But since we were inundated with so much snow the day before, I and a few other people in this town went, "Half a foot?  That's nothing!" and so I went out to the library because I had to make copies of my tax forms and to just get out of the fucking house.  I made two mistakes copying my returns: I didn't put enough money in to make all the copies from a stack of originals, and then I made two copies from the same original when I only wanted one.  A waste of twenty cents out of a total of: $1.90.
• Thursday, April 12 -- Had to head out in the evening to Caffetto to work on some alumni club stuff.  This was one of those busy times where there was no place for me to work.  But, in a first, a complete stranger volunteered to share a table with her.  So I did and we ... respected each other's privacy by not making chit-chat.  I have to say, though, that her gesture by itself means she was really nice, and I have to say, she didn't look too bad, either.  When she left Caffetto and I thanked her for sharing, she showed her thin, tall, tight body.  She was ... hot, she was hot.  Apple pie, hot chocolate, tip: $7.
• I then went to My Favorite Stripclub (Non-Cover Edition).  L**** was there.  I used to get HJs from her, but I didn't expect her to ever be working there again.  But she is.  I don't know if I'll ever get down and dirty with her again, so I got a dance from her.  But not before she asked me to buy a shot for her.  Fuck Christ ... I seriously am getting bled dry from these bitches asking me to buy drinks for them.  I have to stay away from this place for a bit, I think.  Plus coffee for me and tips: $37.
• On Monday the 9th I went to the library to print out both tax forms to work on (I started on them late) and paystubs for my health insurance.  I should blog about that soon.  Total: $1.20.
• Sunday the 8th ... I went to Caffetto in the morning.  Small hot chocolate and tip: $3.25.
• Found a penny at Caffetto, heads-up.  An Infusion of: 1 cent.
• Saturday, April 7 ... I went to downtown St. Paul in a fruitless attempt to get a ticket for the Frozen Four Final.  I stopped that afternoon at Frozen Fest, held at the parking lot across from the Xcel Energy Center, where I had a Goose Island IPA at the Buffalo Wild Wings pop-up station.  I used that to wash down the free Wendy's hamburger and Frosty I got there.  I charged the beer, so this EWR is tip-only: $1.
• I didn't get a ticket, but instead of just leaving, I went to Patrick McGovern's because I really wanted to see the game anyway.  Pathetic me.  I stayed on my feet for the first two periods because there was no space to sit.  Later I found a barstool and ate a huge plate of nachos for no good reason.  Charged the nachos, but the beer (plus tip) set me back: $8.25.
• Went to My Favorite Stripclub (Non-Cover Division) after the game.  Didn't get a dance, and no one hit me up for a drink.  Just coffee and tips this time around, ah!: $10.
• To Thursday, April 5, which was the Semifinals of the Frozen Four.  I had a ticket, and I altered my workweek in order to free myself for the afternoon.  I wanted to do a few things I hadn't done in some time, and I used the afternoon to do it.  One of them was seeing my therapist for the first time in a few months.  The other thing is to get my Docs polished.  Since the LRT is right across the street from work, I just left my cubicle and went down to catch the train.  And since the trip downtown was less than 2 1/2 hours, I needed to pay only one fare: $2.
• There was a guy ahead of me, so I decided to get a donut -- excuse me, a doughnut -- from the Bogart's kiosk.  With tip: $4.25.
• I think Lisa's prices have gone up.  Still, I need her to shine my shoes.  And she had a pencil to brighten my yellow stitches!  With tip: $15.
• Went back down to Bloomington, got into my car, saw my shrink in Roseville.  Then I went to the Target on the light rail and parked, and I was scared as heck that it would get towed, but it didn't.  Had to pay a ticket going to the X and coming back.  Total: $4.50.
• At the Frozen Four there was a Designated Driver kiosk, where you can sign up and get a free Coke for not drinking alcohol, then be entered into a drawing to get a free Frozen Four hat.  And then I realized: They are selling alcohol for a college event.  Since people under the age of 21 aren't allowed to drink in the U.S., college events have historically been booze-free; if a tournament event is being held in a big, no-college-based stadium or arena, they turn off the taps.  But the NCAA began a pilot program where they allowed alcohol to be sold at the 2016 College World Series, and that was extended to several other postseason events, including the Frozen Four earlier this month.  It appears as though all NCAA-sanctioned postseason events will now allow alcohol starting in the fall.  Hey, alcohol doesn't rule my life, so I didn't mind not drinking beer at a college game.  Anyway, I paired my free Coke (no ice) with a hot dog.  Add a program to that and I got away from the X spending only: $16.

Good through April 21.