Going off on dreaming about what I could do if I just became a temp again, today at work was hell. There were so many things, especially at the end of my shift, that I had never seen before. I had to ask people what's going on, and one person volunteered her advice even though she's starting to get a little overbearing about it. And then, I swear, I came upon something ... and I froze because I didn't know if I needed to do something or not. And no, still being sick (WHEN THE HELL WILL I STOP COUGHING UNTIL I GAG?!) didn't help. If something comes back to bite me in the ass, I'll use that as an excuse.
I'm really struggling with getting my job right. It's been two months now (I think?), and at some point I should just slide in and do the work like it ain't no thing. But I still doubt myself, still catch myself saying, "Wait, do I do ... this?" Yes, I think some mastery should be assumed by now. But I am very, very far from that. And because of that, I'm starting to really be unhappy at work. You know, I could throw it back at them and say that my training has been inadequate. And it has. But still, I'm in sink-or-swim mode, and too many times, like today, I was sinking.
Man, I don't know. I should quit because I get the feeling I should be fired.
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