Called Out For Being Late But Not Tardy ... Or Tardy But Not Late

This is so fucking stupid ... last week, out of the blue, I get an e-mail from my boss scrutinizing when exactly I punch in to work.  You're allowed leeway, like five minutes from when you're supposed to start (although I also was once told ten, but whatever).  Swiping in after that grace period raises a red flag with bosses.  You allowed only so much before you're called in for, uh, "remediation."  If you're really bad and do it frequently enough, that's grounds for getting fired.  But it rolls over every 365 days, so if you've been really bad for, like, a week, after a year it's off your record.  Besides, they have made exceptions for tardiness when there's been, like, a huge snowstorm that makes it difficult for people to get to work.

This bullshit e-mail is different.  My boss noted that I have not been "late" or "tardy" (I don't know which word is the one I'm supposed to use, but the two are not interchangeable), but for the past month he noted the number of "late/tardy" punches, and he deemed it unacceptable, even though I technically have not run afoul of company policy when it comes to getting to work on time.  He said some fuckin' BS about "not being an ideal worker for the company" or some such.  And then he said, and this is the thing that galls me, is that he is going to be tracking how many times I am late but not tardy (or tardy but not late) for ... well, from now on, fuck if I know, and he'll track by how many minutes I am late.  You fuckin' kidding me?!?!?!  I cannot help but think of that as nothing but a threat.

That leads to self-demeaning acts of stupidity and oppression like yesterday.  I wanted to try and be "a good boy" and get to work on time.  And yet, I still wanted to buy coffee and a bite to eat, and then eat that bite to eat in my car, before punching in.  I got up and got out of the house early to ensure that I could do this all.  But goddamn me for not building in enough time (and, maybe, for ordering oatmeal) and then thinking I could do all this before 10 a.m.  It got down to the brass tacks whereby I ate the rest, tried to gather up my bag, my gloves, and my mocha, and then march through the front door.  I looked down at my watch just after I closed the door to my car and saw it was 10 on the dot.  I didn't feel like running to the door; that would be demeaning, and besides, I didn't know if I wanted to jump through these hoops for my boss, especially since he usually doesn't come in on Sundays.  And yet, when I punched in, it was 10:01, and all I could think of was GODDAMN HIM, HE'S GOING TO FUCKING CALL ME OUT ON THIS!!!  I AM ONLY ONE MINUTE LATE, FOR FUCKING GOD'S SAKE!!!

There is a part of me that thinks he's only doing this because he has to.  The words he used in that e-mail were boilerplate, as if he was following a template of an e-mail he has to send out to prove to his bosses he is keeping his employees in line by making sure they swipe in when the company wants us to.  And I still think ... well, want to think that he's a good guy.  But I harken back to my co-worker getting pissed off over an e-mail my boss sent to her.  And I'll just reveal it now: She told our supervisor, probably venting but there is always a patina of intention when someone says this, that he wanted to rip my boss' head off.  I'm not there -- yet.  Let's just fucking see if I actually want to get to work on time, and if I don't, what the fuck is going to happen to me.  And in the meantime it might behoove me to polish my resume, reach back out to my temp agencies, and think about going back to school again.