I Love Sports But I Can't Watch

I love sports.  I ... still like the tournament even though it started going bad in 2000 when it expanded to a disharmonious 65 teams and then fucked things up even more when they began this stupid partnership with Turner whereby Games were shunted off onto cable and, along with that, the decision to not switch to the endings of tight Games onto CBS.

Anyway, my bracket actually is looking pretty good right now.  I'm very certain that I have not had as clean a bracket as I do this Year, through this part of a Big Dance, ever.  While I lost Purdue very early and I only picked ten of the Sweet Sixteen, before the start of the Regional Semifinals I still had six of my Elite Eight, the other three of my Final Four, both finalists and, of course, my pick to win it all, Gonzaga.

That means I'm still alive to hit the money in both my friend's smaller pool and the Megalodon that is the big one.  And that should mean I have keen interest in the Sweet Sixteen and Elite Eight Games that began yesterday/Saturday and will finish up Tuesday.  I mean, why wouldn't I want to see Games that I have a personal stake in?

But I can't bear to watch.  Why?  These are Games that I have a personal stake in.  It is anxiety-inducing to feel as if every missed shot by my team and every made shot by the other team means that my chances of winning money are ruined.  This is why I love being a neutral: You won't get disappointed at the outcome of a Game, and therefore you can enjoy it without having your hopes and your feelings hurt.

I have teams riding in all four of today's/Sunday's matchups.  (For some reason yesterday I thought I didn't have Michigan winning in their Game today; checked my bracket at work -- whoops, I actually do!)  But I only tuned into Gonzaga's beatdown of Creighton on the radio after work and turned on the TV to see (well actually hear; I muted the television so I can concentrate on blog posting this) Michigan crushing Florida St. well after the outcome was decided.  I realized some time ago that I don't usually want drama when I have a side in a Game.  I love to see a blowout if my team is on the delivering end of that blowout.  If it's a close match and I want my team to win, screw it, I'm not listening or watching or doomscrolling or anything.  I'd rather see the result on ESPN.com or Twitter.  Feeling like I missed out on a great Game is worth missing out on witnessing my team lose.

I had Gonzaga and Michigan.  I have Alabama, which, as or press time, is about to tip off.  This is around the time I take my evening nap, which I will need to take since I won't be able to during the week because I pick up this test scoring job.  But I have set my alarm for later this evening when my alma mater plays.  Not only do I have a personal stake, but I have them winning in my bracket.  I wouldn't be watching (rather listening; this goddamn Game is on fucking TBS, so I'll have to listen through the radio) if not for the fact I felt I needed to organize a Zoom watch/listen party for other alumni in the area for the contest.  I will be so, so disappointed if they lose -- and I'll wish I hadn't listened.