On top of that, I saw when I came into work yesterday that a person from DE is taking a few days off, so I'll have to fill in for her. This is the, uh, heightened DE, where I have to be on my toes and keep checking the folders for mistakes and shit. I'll need to do that two days. That also means I have to wake up early by a half-hour those two days. Shit.
Oh yeah -- and finally, my co-worker who had that big blow-up last week has decided she is going to take a few days off as well, so I'll be filling in for her a couple days, too. I don't know how that area is going to be this week, but compared with the bullshit I'll have to face the other days, those two days might be my two easiest ones.
Man, why am I so fucking afraid of work? Part of this busy week is because a couple people are taking days off, and it's my job to fill in for them. We're also short-staffed, and to me, that means that they can't find anyone better to do the job. So even if I can't do the job, will they even be able to fire me? And shit, man, that filing dude slides down the brontosaurus as soon as the whistle blows; he's just there to do his 40 and leave, so why I listening to him if he's the one stabbing me in the back about not doing his job for him right? And as for the other jobs of the week ... well, I guess I should be happy that work is back down to our usual meager levels.
I don't want to say that I'm as despondent as Meghan Markle. But as much as I want to think I can power through this week, I don't know if I can. Maybe it'll be good that I'll be talking to my therapist this week.
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