Thursday, April 14, 2022

Bad Energy

Something I remembered at work from a couple weeks ago. ...

Afternoon break is when I usually don't go to my car to rest my eyes.  Instead, it's the time I eat the stuff Father gives me to eat in the break room.  Our break rooms are too small as they are (we need bigger break rooms), and in the winter, when no one wants to eat outside (pandemic be damned), sometimes they're all filled.  I sometimes have gone outside to eat -- when it's cold and windy, such as a couple days ago, when I thought my mask was blown off my face, I saw it on some rocks, I touched it, then realized my mask was still attached to my neck with a cord that was given to me in the middle of the pandemic.  Anyway ... I've also just stood up next to the sink and ate my snacks.  In a situation like this I just prefer not to eat because I don't want to be put in that situation.  I've told Father many, many times that I don't need to bring food with me to eat.  And still he goddamn insists on giving me food -- and he expects me to eat it before I come home.  It's been almost a quarter-century of this bullshit.

I'm going off on a tangent.  So sometimes I do find a chair and a table all to myself so I can eat in peace, glory be.  And sometimes there is a spot open in this small row of three chairs arranged, desk-like, right up against the wall.  Each is partitioned so that you're eating by yourself even and eating next to someone, know what I mean?

So a couple days ago I wasn't having a good day at work for whatever reason.  I grab one of these solitary-but-not-solitary desk chairs, on the right end.  The left one is occupied, but the middle one is empty, so it's good for social distancing.  Just as I begin eating, this girl stomps up to this middle chair, I think kicks the chair out so she can sit, throws her food on the desk, and starts to eat.  And she doesn't pull in her chair while she's eating; she's balancing on the front legs and shaking it back-and-forth, like she has a nervous tick, or whenever you are working but you're either nervous or bored, or you're trying to do anything you can to stay awake, like bouncing your leg up and down, you know?

Add that she was eating both quickly and loudly, and my mood turned back dark.  I don't know what her deal was, but I wanted no part of it -- fuck, I didn't want to even be next to her.  Thank Buddha there was an open table, because I got the fuck up out of that chair and sat at the table for the rest of my break time.  But I went back to wipe down the desk chair I was at, the one right next to her, because we've been asked to quickly disinfect any surfaces on which we eat.  I'm not a rude philistine.  She, on the other hand ... man, her bad energy bugged the fuck outta me. ...

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