Hottest Babe In The Hooters Calendar: March 2022

I gotta be honest with you: I find this month to be the most frustrating month to analyze photos of these waitresses ever.  And not in a blue balls kind of way.  No, my issue is that too many of the women in this month are photographed wrong.  No, I'm not a photographer, but I know what I like, and I know what I don't like, and I know when things are off, and I feel that "offness" on way too many of the pictures for March 2022.

See, when I first laid eyes on the month, I thought the runaway winner was going to be Kylie, from Fort Myers, Fla.  But when I took a closer look, I see that I couldn't see her hands.  In fact, she is posed as if she has no forearms.  How can she carry food to the customers if she has no forearms?  But then I look even closer and Kylie is sitting in the middle of an oversized chessboard, and it looks like her hands are resting on and behind two chess pieces.  Shame: She has the long black locks, black two-piece bikini, and hot and tight body that I thought was a sure winner.  But damn, I can't see her forearms!  It's so distracting, it ruins the picture for me.

And that sour note sort of stained how I look at a couple of the other babes of the month.  Maybe this has happened in previous months, and maybe this happens all the time.  But there are three other girls who have an elbow cut off at the side of the photograph frame.  What's wrong with showing the whole woman?  Maybe it didn't bother me before, but Kylie's photographic disfigurement is something I cannot shake for the other women.  Add that to the now regular mistake of having the waitresses pose with their hands in front of them, and March 2022 leaves a sour taste in my mouth.

With that being said, I can point out two.  In second place is The Main Girl, Sloan of Sarasota, Fla.  Her right hand is placed in front of her.  However, she is gripping, I think, a zipper that is fully unzipped, showing her gigantic cleavage and her ample bosom.  I like the illusion that Sloan just unzipped herself to show her girls.  She's also a lovely-looking blonde with a big smile and luscious lips, and she's rocking a baby blue two-piece.  Oh, and she's hip-deep in a pool too -- sexy!

But I will give the top spot to Mia, out of Sugarland, Tex.  Mia's right elbow is cut off, sure.  But that elbow is flexed behind her, and she is flexing, and boy, she's got some muscles on her, mmm!!!  And she's also holding the sides of her pink-patterned bikini bottom.  Plus, her two-piece bikini is showing off a toned and ripped body!!  You can tell by the photo that she is on the short side, if you know what I mean.  But I think she's strong enough that she could toss me around in bed -- and I wouldn't mind at all!!!

So congratulations to Mia!  And for the record, I have already jerked off to this month -- twice.  Unfortunately, because of the dour overall nature of the entire month, I didn't pud much either time.  No offense to the ladies.