Not At My Best Friday

I admit I was not at my best when I got to my screening Friday.  I was asked if I had my "order," apparently a piece of paper that I was supposed to take with me to the screening.  I was not aware I had to bring one.  I wasn't even aware that there was one.  The technician who helped me thought I had it in my e-mail; the only thing I could even come up with (and this was after I logged onto my work e-mail from my phone, something I never thought I would ever do) was a confirmation number for my appointment, and that wasn't even close.

Perplexed, seeing that my best laid plans of going to Al's Breakfast immediately after this to break my fast were ruined, and not knowing what to do, I literally bolted out of there without even acknowledging her.  I was not having it right then and there.  And although I didn't want to, my only recourse was to go to work (which, thankfully, was about five minutes away), log onto a computer, and literally go to the website where I made the appointment to see what the hell kind of "order" she was talking about.

Although I had a computer free, my supervisor thought it better to let me use hers because it was already turned on.  And she helped me find what turned out to be this "order" since, well, it had an order number, or something.  I drove back (this took me about ten minutes), hurriedly knocked on the door, showed her this sheet and the technician went, "Yep, that's it!"

And ... everything was fine.  Everything.  Well, I was an hour late, and so maybe there wouldn't have been a line to Al's Breakfast, but maybe there would have.  But I got done what I needed to get done.  Hell, I even believe my blood pressure was below 120/80, and that was after I got pissed off and drove back-and-forth.

So ... crap, an apology was in order.  I apologized to the technician for my behavior.  She said forget it.  She shouldn't.  She has a right to fucking hate for the rest of my life because I was one of those horrible customers that makes a front-facing worker's life miserable.  And for what?  Also, and I don't quite want to admit this, when I saw this "order" I had to present and show to the technician ... I kind of remember printing one out in a previous year.  I don't remember a technician taking it, but I think I at least brought it, which means I have been aware in the past of an "order" I need to take whenever I have a screening.  Which means I blew up at her for something I should have known.

To be fair, I don't think I would have been so calm if I hadn't found this "order," and not have found it so quickly.  Thank Buddha, then, for my supervisor for letting me get on her computer and for helping me find what I need to find.  I still gristle at any criticism she gives me, and I will continue to do so.  But she answers my questions at work so I can do my job.  And whenever I'm in a bind, where I am as upset as I said I was when I bogarted her computer, I can't think of anyone who can help me better.

Once again, if I didn't find this "order," or if I had to go to some damn library to print it up, thereby pushing my screening back another hour where I have to wait behind a bunch of other people (oh yeah -- when I came back, there was no line, another good break that extinguished my temper), I would not have been so sanguine about the whole situation, and I don't think I would be so apologetic now.  But when I was running around feeling like I got screwed, it never occurred to me that things could work out.  And they did, easily.  So maybe, instead of losing my temper, I should just fix the fucking problem -- one I probably made.