This screening is for work. The results of my blood will partially decide whether I get a break for my health insurance. Things have changed when it comes to that, unfortunately. Before, you only needed to clear two hurdles: Signing an attestation saying that you don't smoke, and having a BMI below a certain threshold. I could clear both of those in my sleep (and heck, even if I were a smoker, couldn't I just lie and attest that I don't smoke?) Starting now, there are three additional measurements they're looking at: Blood pressure, cholesterol, and A1C. And to get that insurance discount, you now need to "win" three out of the five.
I've been above the universally-regarded normal BP of 120/80 for years now, so that's out. I've been looking at my results from my visits to my doctor, and I can't find a test for A1C, so who knows if I'm under it or not? And my cholesterol level was treading in the downward/right direction when I last got it checked, in November, but before I was perilously close to 200. So, there's a possibility that I "fail" all three of these new metrics. I could still get a discount at that point, but I'd have to sign up for some diversionary program offered by the health insurance company, and I know part of my paycheck is already paying for that, so that kind of feels like trying to make friends with your bully. Besides, I don't want to let things get that far.
And so I am in the middle of doing things that I hope will bring down my blood pressure, A1C and cholesterol. I took yesterday off to eat a healthy lunch (a salad with nuts and avocado and a nopales [that's a cactus] taco) at Centro (albeit with a gin and tonic -- but hey, no calories!), and then I exercised. Will these concerted efforts help get my levels down? Probably not. I should have started this "cutting weight" a couple weeks ago, or better yet, maybe I could just start eating less and eating better as a lifestyle. But hey, I'm doing it.
I also got a massage after exercising. (Wanted to take a shower at home before going to the salon, but apparently my masseuse had so many cancellations the salon left me a message to see if I wanted to move up my evening appointment. I feel as though they were strongly encouraging me to. But I was starting my workout, and I need to be active for the next day's blood draw, so I compromised and went there straight from the community center. Doesn't feel great to get a massage when you're all sweaty.) I want to think that getting all the toxins out of my body will somehow lower my weight and cholesterol. Doing this also meant I skipped the big dinner Mother inevitably would have otherwise made; I had water, yogurt and a banana instead, and that's a healthy meal, right?
Finally, getting rubbed down really takes the edge off of you. I wanted to glide on that good feeling as I went home and, best case scenario, just lay in bed, or fall asleep until I had to go the blood panel. That was my strategy in hopefully getting my blood pressure below 120/80. I figure that BP is the easiest of the three goals to manipulate 24 hours before the draw (and maybe the only one), so that if I do hit that mark, the A1C and the cholesterol level wouldn't matter. That was working until the drive home, when I got stuck behind a slow car. I looked at the lane next to me. It was clear. I went over, but just as I did, a truck did the same, and my damn heart jumped. And then my temper flared up even more as I failed to make the light to turn left and eventually to home.
I still catch myself having these violent fantasies where I'm beating up bullies, and of all the times I can't have this red mist descend over me, this is the worst. I need to be calm, relaxed, Zen. That's the best way to get my blood pressure down and hopefully qualify for this discount. But maybe I'm going to let myself down. Hope not.
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