Buck Conventional Wisdom. Fuck Conventional Wisdom

I play ESPN Streak frequently, even though I'm not good enough to win anything.  Man, why do I do it?

Anyway, I noticed something in the five things I picked yesterday.  I went 3-2.  Wins: Florida St. would beat North Carolina (this is men's college basketball); Josh Allen would not pass for more Touchdowns in the First Half of the Buffalo Bills-Baltimore Ravens Divisional Playoff Game than Lamar Jackson (and they tied -- neither scored a passing TD); and the two teams would combine to score two or fewer TDs in the Second Half of that Game (the total was two, both by Buffalo).  Losses: I thought Red Bull Leipzig would beat Wolfsburg (this is the Bundesliga, and the teams drew at two) and Aaron Rodgers would throw for less than 150 Yards in the First Half of the Green Bay Packers-Los Angeles Rams Divisional Playoff.

These choices come with percentages of how many people playing pick which side.  Take a look at how many people choose the side I choose (and I list these five choices in chronological order):

• RB Leipzig winning: 72.0% -- and this was a loss;
• Florida St. winning: 34.0% -- and this was a win;
• Rodgers throws for 149 Yards or less in the First Half: 64.9% -- and this was a loss;
• Jackson throws for as many or more TDs in the First Half than Allen: 13.5% -- and this was a win;
• Buffalo and Baltimore combine to score two or fewer TDs in the Second Half: 22.2% -- and this was a win;

You see that the two times I went along with the majority I lost, but the three times I went against the grain I won?  Yes, yesterday/Saturday appeared to be a day where minority opinions were the way to go.  But this shows that sometimes, you should ignore the wisdom of the crowd.

Well, until you shouldn't.

Their Impossible Questions

I had dreams of cleaning my room.  Like, extensively today.  I had a thought of going out today, if only to, like, eat and see my storage unit.  But I really didn't have any reason to go out because it was high time to start looking through my mail and see if I can toss anything.

I was going to do that after lunch.  But then my parents ask me an impossible question, again.  When Mother deleted a photo on her phone, that same photo was automatically deleted on Father's phone.  Can that, like, not happen?

I told them I'd look into it.  I then retreated into my bedroom, and I swear, the enormity of trying to investigate yet another of their questions sapped all my energy.  I turned on the radio to listen go the Gopher men's basketball Game (they gave Michigan its first loss on the Year), crawled into bed, and promptly fell asleep for a nap that I think lasted three hours.  And I swear, if I had not been asked that impossible question, my bedroom would be spotless by now.

The Weekly Minnesota Sports Survey

#-1: Wild (Re-Entry!).  All it takes one singular, highlight effort for The State Of Hockey to get Kirill Kirazy:

The fantasies of a fanbase, especially one who has been starved for a championship, can get very out of hand.  Hell, I'm saying this after only one friggin' Game -- although Kirill Kaprizov has become only the third NHL Rookie ever to score the Overtime winner in his first-ever league match.  But I think it is accurate to say that, for the first time in a long time, there is actually hope for the newest, youngest players in this organization.  And after a few Years of only listening to whispers of how this Russian half a world away named is tearing through the Kontinental Hockey League, Wild fans will taste this morsel and believe they are full.  Yeah, a Game-winning Goal (oh ... by the way, they defeated the Los Angeles Kings in L. A.) like this makes the thought of lifting the Stanley Cup tangible.  Hopefully, this will be the first of many for him.

Like the NBA, the NHL is doing what college hockey traditionally does, having two teams play each other at least twice in one venue.  They remain in Los Angeles to play the Kings against Sunday, then travel to Orange County to play Anaheim Monday and Wednesday.  They will then finally open up home play with two against San Jose, the first of which is Friday night.

#-2: Gopher women's hockey (Last Week: -2).  They are 2-1 for this week, having swept a three-Game series (which began  with a hastily-scheduled Game at Ridder on Thursday) with 4-1 and 4-0 victories over the Huskies in a home-and-home.  That elevated them to the top of both polls for the week.  But on this/Friday afternoon (I forgot last last/Thursday night that the survey goes out on Fridays) the #1 Gophers traveled to Wisconsin, the school they supplanted as #1, and got absolutely smoked, 5-0.  Minnesota might not have won, but they shouldn't get blown out, nor shut out, against Wisconsin, and it doesn't matter where Bucky Badgers is ranked and that the U. is on the road.  A tad disconcerting.  They finish up tomorrow/Saturday afternoon before having almost two Weeks off.

#-3: Gopher men's hockey (Last Week: -1).  Unfortunately the club finally lost their first Game of the season, at dreaded Wisconsin Saturday, 3-1.  Bounced back nicely Sunday to defeat the Badgers, 5-3.  They were able to retain the #1 ranking in both college hockey polls.  They were joined in the top spot of the rankings by the women's team.  It was the first time both Minnesota hockey programs were ranked #1 (in, I'm assuming, at least one poll for both genders, even though both Golden Gopher clubs were ranked #1 last week in all of them) for the first time since October 27, 2014 (hat tip to Andy York of The Daily Gopher).

Will it last?  They are playing the first Game of their two-Game series vs. Notre Dame as I type this.  It begins a two-series, four-Game homestand; after playing the Fighting Irish tomorrow/Saturday, they will host Arizona St. Thursday and Friday.

#-4: Timberwolves (Last Week: -5).  Lost at home to San Antonio (in Overtime, after squandering a big lead) Saturday with Karl-Anthony Towns.  Won the next night, at home, also to the Spurs, without KAT, thereby ending their losing skid at seven.  Then they started a new losing streak Wednesday, at home, versus The Bastard Vancouver Grizzlies, with KAT.

And then their final Game this screening week, also at home against Memphis tonight/Friday night, was postponed.  Then the implications as to why started to multiply.  When announcing the postponement today/Friday, the NBA said that contract tracing has reduced the number of available players on the Wolves to below eight, which is the minimum number of players a squad has to have in order to play.  Then, it was discovered that both Ricky Rubio and Juancho Hernangomez are two of the people that would have to sit out the Game tonight/Friday night because they were swept up in the league's health and safety protocols.

Then, the big one.  A bit later, KAT announced that he has COVID-19.  You may remember that the virus killed his mother and six other members of his family.  This goddamn coronavirus is a fucking serial killer destroying a family.

On his announcement through Twitter, he promised his niece and nephew that he "will not end up in a box next to grandma and I will beat this."  Good on you, KAT.

This week: At Atlanta Monday afternoon to be the guests for the Hawks' annual MLK Jr. Day Game, which I hear has become an awesome annual event.  They then come back to Target Center to host Orlando.

#-5: Gopher men's basketball (Last Week: -4).  So from this point downward, all the clubs went winless.  I will give the top spot of those three to the Dinkytown male b-ballers, who got crushed in Iowa Sunday afternoon by 15.  But that defeat continues to prove the home=good, away=bad dynamic that not only the U. but seemingly the Big Ten most of the time evinces.  They are still ensconced in the bracket -- albeit as a 7-seed, according to Joe Lunardi.

The gauntlet of this part of the league schedule ends with a return date with Michigan tomorrow/Saturday afternoon at Williams.  They then visit Nebraska Wednesday.

#-6: Gopher wrestling (Re-Entry!).  Start the Year dropping a dual at Nebraska, 22-14.  So this continues to be the reality for this program: Once the best, now an also-ran, maybe moreso in the shrinking college wrestling world.  But does losing to the Cornhuskers represent a new low?

This club is in East Lansing, Mich., tomorrow/Saturday.  But things will be done differently because of COVID-19.  They will play two conference foes: Maryland in the early afternoon, then the host Spartans later in the afternoon.  Will these guys go 0-3 to start their season?

#-7: Gopher women's basketball (Last Week: -3).  This squad has now lost three in a row after losing to nine to Penn St. Sunday, then getting dominated by Maryland, 90-73.  Both Games were at home, ick.  I keep hearing that Lindsay Whalen has put together fantastic recruiting classes, but where's the development?  Where are the individual performances?  Where's the heart?  I don't see that coming out of team that is now a wretched 2-7.

One Game this screening week: In Nebraska Tuesday afternoon.

Hottest Babe In The Hooters Calendar: December

A bevy -- 15 babes this month!  And ... uh, the more I look, the more underwhelmed I am.  They're not outright heifers or anything, but most of the waitresses don't stand out.  And of those I would consider the best, I can name at least one glaring drawback to either her or her shot.

I can point to six that are better than the rest, and within those six, I can name a top three.  The other ones -- Keaton of Humble, Tex.; Ashley of Lone Tree, Colo.; and, well, another Ashley, from Atlantic City, N. J. (both Ashleys have their photos side-by-side, and I think having models with their names typed out in adjacent pictures is a big no-no) -- are good.  However, the Colorado Ashley is holding a surfboard for some damn reason and the New Jersey Ashley is wearing a two-piece green bandeau top, but both top and bottom are so wide it's reminiscent of a forties swimsuit.  And Keaton ... shit, she's got a nice body, but her expression is so blah, her photo makes no impact.

I'll give third place to the main girl, Rebecca, hailing from Fort Smith, Ark.  She's showing a tight stomach, and she's got the effect of wet sand all of her chest, abs, hip and legs, and that's fucking hot.  But her red bikini top is one of those that is cropped just under the boobs but has long sleeves.  Huh?

Chicago's Marissa takes second.  Red two-piece with white flower pattern.  Blonde, can see her cleavage, and her bikini bottom is cut so that she's showing, like, half of her ass.  (Uncut bikini bottoms were the thing for the 2020 Hooters calendar, but I've taken a sneak peek at 2021, which I bought last month -- and trust me, Hooters is caving to the self-gaslighting times of today and having their women show ass.)  However, she is posed bending over something, and her ass is off to the left, behind her and thus out of focus.  Marissa looks beautiful, but her picture doesn't show her off.

The best girl is a returning favorite, and I think she won a month in 2019.  It's Nanako, out of Tokyo.  Now, her black bikini top (branded with the Hooters logo, a nice touch) is a full cover -- no cleavage or sideboob or anything.  Also, she has black hair here, and I swear she was a light brunette in her '19 photo.  Her stern look ... no, it's not a smile, and she kind of looks like Olivia Munn, which is neither bad nor good, but it's ... different, and I think such a look is sexy on her.  Finally, I like her stomach.

So, hey, in a frequently-flawed December, Nanako is the best one.  And I will try my best to masturbate to the month.

You Know The One Good Thing About Wearing A Mask?

As a guy who talks to myself a lot, and has a propensity to mouth both things in my head and songs I'm listening to, I'm sure I've been caught talking to myself.  But when you're hiding behind a mask, people can't see your lips.  So I can sing to myself or move my lips to the things I'm saying in the violent images in my head as much as I want, and people will just see a guy in a mask!  Kewl!

OK, This Motherfucking Asshole Is Gonna Give Me COVID

I should've punched this guy.

OK, I went into the gas station to buy lottery tickets and to get gasoline for my car.  It was afternoon rush hour, so the place was packed as shit.  (Oh, and I was going to park there, decided I couldn't because I wanted a space close enough so that the attendant could see my license plate, then realized I needed to go in to pre-pay, so I went back.)

This asshole in front of me is an anti-masker.  He looked like a stereotype, my version, of a guy who is an anti-masker.  He's White, he had an old war vet hat on, he had straight and straggly gray hair, and he looked like he hadn't showered in a week.  Him not wearing a mask already set me off.  But his entire ... mise-en-scene just pushed me over the edge.  I hate the look of this fucker.  He looked like he participated in that coup attempt on the U. S. Capitol last week.

And he wasn't alone.  He brought his little shit kid with him.  He wasn't wearing a mask, either.  And they were taking their sweet-ass time amidst a line of people picking out scratch-off tickets.  He was talking to his itty-bitty son about which of those tickets he wants.  And he was going to be patient with him, and let him buy as many tickets as he wanted.  I was about six feet away from this Republican prick, but I'm sure everyone could see him.  He wasn't shouting, but everyone, I swear, could hear him.  He was oblivious to the concerns of the people around him, or the world.  It was just him and his little shit kid, and pandemic schmandemic.

(Aside: The cashier helping this self-absorbed motherfucker, who was wearing a mask, looked uncomfortable serving him.  Either he was annoyed with him taking so long or he hated being so close to him, even with a plexiglass screen between them.  I am not one of those people who threatens to report businesses that don't force customers to wear masks.  It would be nice.  But I can see myself in his shoes, just trying to get this bastard and his bastard son out of the way so he can deal with customers actually following the law.  It's the responsibility of a person to follow the law.  And this straggly-ass shitface obviously believes he's above it.)

I complained about that selfish young girl at the library talking loudly to her friend on the phone in the library.  I've tested negative since that unpleasant encounter.  But I've been so pissed off since seeing this stranger's uncovered ass face.  And I feel like my throat's a little dry, and there might be a tickle down in my stomach.  Swear to fucking God, if this is the piece of shit who gives me the coronavirus. ...

Goddammit, I Just Missed A Day Of Blog Posting!

I checked just now to make sure I did yesterday ... and I didn't!

And now I remembered that I wanted to do it today because I didn't ... and I forgot!

And the worst thing?  I was on my computer for a couple hours before midnight last night!  I had every chance of doing it just a couple hours ago ... and I fucking blew it!  And it wasn't as if I was busy.  I was listening to the college football championship Game and that was it.

Fuck me.

From now on, I blog as soon as midnight comes around.  And maybe I should rethink trying to blog post twice in one day, because I did that Sunday and I think I thought that that later Sunday blog post I did early Monday morning.

Goddammit.  A long streak, broken.

Avoiding Him On Second Shift

So the person who files on second shift is taking next Monday off.  I style myself a human Swiss army knife, so I once again volunteered to take that shift.  Variety!

Before when I filled in, and especially when it's only one day and I would have to revert to my usual daytime schedule, my boss would allow me to shift up my night by two hours.  But this time around I told him I could fill in for her exactly at the hours she works.  Why?  Heh ... yeah, I want to avoid that guy.  As much as possible.  He leaves a half-hour before I would come in, otherwise I would have to sit next to him and his negative energy for 90 minutes, and that would blow.  Besides, I know that I'll make a mistake, he'll bitch about it to my boss and he'll tell me about it the next day.  If he's going to be like that, I'd rather just not see him at all.

But I wonder: Can people tell I am now actively trying to avoid him?

Getting Tested; "Frothy Spit"

I try to get tested as much as possible.  I used to go to a clinic where I could quickly get some nurse's assistant to shove a swab up my nose, but either due to other people or a change in policy, I now go to a clinic on Eat Street, where I have had to wait, at most, I think, an hour.

Meanwhile there are these public walk-in testing places where you spit into a vial.  I was trying to find a place where I could make an appointment, but frankly, now that I've gone several times, I don't think they check if you've made an appointment.  I think you can just walk in and do it.

And spitting into a vial was uncomfortably hard the first time I did it.  I was told I had "frothy spit," and that didn't count.  So I was there, literally, 45 minutes, trying to generate spit to get to this freakin' line on the vial.

It's been easier since.  Much easier.  It probably was because I ate just before I tested the first time.  Now it takes me mere minutes.

But it dawned on me the first time I was in this place, and I still think of this whenever I go in there.  As I was indoors for a long time with a sort-of crowd (although everyone was wearing masks), some of the people getting tested had to be there thinking they were positive because they were positive.  Wouldn't it be ironic, so goddamn ironic, that I was afraid of testing positive for COVID-19 and because I was stuck there for so long, I got COVID-19?  That's the ironic risk whenever I go to a clinic, I guess, but still, it sucks.

Addendum To: Addendum To: A Blessing In Disguise, But My Penis Does Not Think So

So, as I alluded to in EWR, I caved to my penis and got a massage from ******a anyway.  I texted her when I surprisingly got cut from work early Wednesday, but I didn't hear back.  Serendipitously, however, after I got cut off work early again on Thursday and I thought about trying to reach her again, she texted me.  I took that as a sign that I could see her and not get COVID-19, neither the new super-contagious variant or the run-of-the-mill original virus.  But that's actually just my little man talking.

See, I concluded that she was close to giving me a handie, finally, after all these years.  She massaged my front the last time, and she got tantalizingly close to touching my pee-pee.  Thought she would be OK with going to the next, and last, step.

Alas, it was not to be.  She is still paranoid that she's being tracked and stalked through her devices.  ******a asked me to not only turn off my phone but also put it in airplane mode and take it off wi-fi before I got to her apartment.  Then, she situated me on both her massage chair and on the floor (which is when I strip naked so she can really knead my muscles) in such a way where she can both massage me while looking through her patio door to my car, which she was paranoid about someone ... uh, I forget; breaking into my car, or implanting a tracking device in it, or something else?  I don't know.  Anything to get her to wank me, I was thinking.

Last time, ******a used her hands to, I think, flip me over to my front.  She did something similar this time.  I was lying on my side, sort-of, as she was alternately putting her finger on the side of my left hip and looking out through her door.  (Me, except for my legs, was hidden behind a sofa chair; that was the only thing blocking what could have been prying eyes from seeing me in the nude.)  I then flipped myself over all the way, making her reach between my hip and the bed in order to work on my hip.

I took this opportunity to tell her how I felt when she massaged my front: "Thank you for massaging my front.  I like it when you massage my front.  It feels good.  If you feel comfortable, you can massage all of my front, too!"

To which ******a replied, "Do you mean the front of your hip, or ..." and she looked at my peener, gave a chin nod toward it and went, "... that?"

"Whatever you want."

And after a beat she went, "Yeah, I'll just stick to your hip."

Drat.

I will note, however, that she used her knee to push down the crack of my ass and up against my perineum, aka the area between my butthole and my balls, aka the "fumunda," aka the "down there place."  And she did it twice.  So am I saying there's a chance?  Yes, I'm saying there's a chance.  Unfortunately, I thought Thursday afternoon was that chance, and it wasn't, and so now I risked getting the coronavirus for a failed handie.  I'm hope to Buddha she's not sick.