I've Been Laid Off From My Job Which Really Isn't A Job

The only productive thing I do while the sun's out is going to the U. I'm a guinea pig, part of a research study about hearing. Basically, two hours a day, two to three days a week I go into a sound-proof booth, put on headphones and listen to a series of three bloops and bleeps coming into my left ear. One of those three signals is different from the other two, and I indicate which by pressing "1," "2," or "3" on the desktop keyboard. Two hours a day, two or three days a week, just about 18 months or so now. I actually did this earlier this decade before my series of temp jobs. In fact, I'm doing experiments for the same woman.

Well, fuckin' Christ, that might be over. I was told by her helper, after my session today: "This may be our last session with you for a while."

What?!?!?! Why? Have I gone through all the things in the hearing spectrum or thingamajig? I was told by the woman whose experiments I've undergone for years now that her situations, all the bleeps and bloops and the variables to make them different, are limitless. Was I wrong to believe her?

This was my job. Besides being a board op and just as much as being a theater usher, I loved this job. They didn't bitch if I was late. I could drink, answer my phone and even look through my letters in the booth. I could take a shit for 20 minutes during the experiment. (In the bathroom, I mean.) I didn't have to take my work home. Stress was non-existent. And they always seemed to be happy with my work, which is rare.

But now that's all gone. And seriously, with the fact that I ain't got no more dole money, I was living off of the $20 I got each day I worked. I'm not going to even have that any more. Will I not be able to go to the Gophers game tomorrow like I planned? (I still will. Probably.) Do I have to hesitate whenever I want to go to Barnes & Noble and sneak-read with a mocha? Can I even fuckin' drive to the library if I need to research something? All I needed was $20 a day and I'm being deprived of that, too!

Am I no longer allowed to have anything?