Thursday, January 22, 2009

The Weekly Minnesota Sports Survey

Positive Numbers: Gopher women's hockey (Last Week: Positive Numbers). Make it three in a row at the top spot. Poured in sixteen goals in beating the shit out of Bemidji State. The top-ranked lady Gophs are steaming towards two home games against second-ranked Wisconsin in two weeks ... but they have third-ranked UMD for two at home this weekend.

#0: Swarm (Last Week: 0). Had no game this week, but since I forgot to include them when they started their season two weeks ago, I'll keep them here to make up for it. They play at home Saturday against Buffalo, a team they've defeated only once in 10 games and lost to all four game at the X.

#-1: Gopher women's basketball (Last Week: -3). A big three-point win at ranked Ohio State and, avoiding the fate of their male counterparts, followed that up with a six-point win at home over Michigan. Props to Ashley Ellis-Milan, co-Big Ten Player Of The Week. Can they continue this at Purdue and versus Northwestern?

#-2: Gopher men's hockey (Last Week: -6). Now this is the team we are entitled to! Poured in 16 goals in beating the shit out of Bemidji State. Mike Hoeffel was named WCHA Offensive Player of the Week and Aaron Ness Rookie of the Week. They get no chance to capitalize on the sweep, however, for they have the week off.

#-3: Gopher men's basketball (Last Week: -1). What a stunning comeback against Wisconsin! Heard the second half and overtime Thursday night and until the very end I thought the Gophs were game but we're going to come up short. But Westbrook ties it up with a clutch three, and then the team held the Badgers without a point for the three minutes of OT. And then, what a loss to Northwestern! Northwestern!! (Although they beat Michigan State at East Lansing on last night, so maybe it wasn't that bad of a loss.) People will give these guys the benefit of the doubt because it's men's college basketball; I mean, how many people are attending the women's hockey team because they've ripped off 16 in a row? But I want to see this team win the games they should win, then steal some they shouldn't. They have two of the former this week: home tonight against Purdue, then the gimme at Indiana.

#-4: Timberwolves (Last Week: -2). The Wolves followed up the Gophers with a thriller of a game at Phoenix Friday night. I was driving around looking for a spot to park to go to a concert and all the while I was listening to the game. I don't think I've felt such excitement over a Woofie Dogs game in years. And what a gutty win! That takes the sting off an understandable but dignified loss to the Bastard New Orleans Jazz. Could things be looking up? A more salient question: Is this team good enough to be kept together, or do they need more prime rookie meat? We'll see; they play four games in five days.

#-5: Wrestling (Last Week: -5). These guys also had last week off, so I too will keep them where they were last week -- second from the bottom. Being ranked in the teens still is unbecoming to this program. They are at Arizona State Friday, then host Michigan State Sunday afternoon.

#-6: Wild (Last Week: -4). The All-Star Break is a great time to be restless. Two wins and two losses shouldn't be that bad, but for this survey they're at the outhouse because 1) other teams had big wins this week and 2) although their win MLK night at Chicago was fantastic, their two losses were at home. They scored nine goals in their two wins and two in their losses -- duh, yes, and I guess we should be happy they were able to score five and four goals in a game at all, but this is the same consistent inconsistency we've seen, well, during this franchise's whole existence. We're getting bored! They host Toronto Tuesday.

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