Father, when you say you want to e-mail someone, you send her an e-mail.  What you fuckin' asked me to do was send her something.  Big fucking difference.

What I thought was a simple message turned out to be documents you wanted scanned.  Fifteen goddamn pages.  And then you wanted me to send all of them to her.  Again, big fucking difference.  I had to take an hour of my night, inbetween helping Mother order her damn checks, to take care of this thing.

I wanted to work out.  But your goddamn Vegas real estate shit ate into my time.  I didn't have a whole lot of time to work out.  In fact, if I knew that it'd take this long, I wouldn't've exercised tonight.  If I could only spend an hour to work out, like I did tonight, it ain't fuckin' worth it.

And I needed to fill up my tank of gas.  I wanted to do that before hitting the gym, but with this bullshit I had to do it after.  I didn't even have ten goddamn minutes to spare to gas up the car, that's how much time I had to use to take care of this.

And worst of all, it didn't even get done.  The last ten minutes of that hour was spent seeing the little fuckin' bar at the bottom slowly fill up, left to right, in green -- and then failing.  There was so many goddamn files I had to attach -- for you and your old, non-English-speaking, technology-phobic ass -- that your AOL Mail -- he still uses AOL Mail!!! -- couldn't swallow it all down, and it failed.  I had to do it again about an hour-and-a-half ago before they all actually sent.  Great, more time wasted.  For you.

You know what pisses me off most about you?  The way that you delegate enormous, onerous, difficult-to-impossible tasks to me like you're a combination of a CEO and Marie Antoinette flicking away the tea just served you because you think it's too cold.  Then, when it doesn't get to the way you like it -- even though you have no motherfucking idea how hard and long it takes, like a CEO or Marie Antoinette -- you insult me.

You didn't have me because you wanted kids.  You had me because you wanted someone to boss around.

Goddamn you.