Grandmother's not getting the insulin shots. I mean, it's been five days and she still doesn't remember the steps to injecting herself. I've been pissed off a few times as I let her learn for herself and she continues to forget just about every single step I told her. At this rate she will have to wake me up around 10 or so every single goddamn day, and when I'm out at night or if I'm on vacation, she will need to skip her medication -- and/or die.
Today was an frustrating day where I, and it turns out the entire family, had to take time out of our day to tend to her needs and mistakes. First of all, I wake up to see Grandmother headed out to get her hair done. But she needs help getting through the path to the driveway where her friend's car is. There are icicles right above it, and the warming and cooling of the day has dripped water onto the path, where it freezes. There are solid inches of ice on it, and she has already slipped on it once.
She got through it, but goddamn if she didn't tell me to bust up the ice while she was gone. I said "Sure, sure" because I planned on going to a movie. But just before I left there I was, outside, using the pick to bust up the ice. (And failing, by the way.)
Then I got cold feet when I got to the theater. Regal Cinemas' new policy regarding popcorn on Tuesdays (long story) doesn't kick in until the new year. There is one more Tuesday where all club members get popcorn for a buck; starting next year, it'll be two. So why am I going now?
That was the last out-of-nowhere factor that convinced me not to go to the movies today. I have a lot of other things I need to do -- help with My Father's tax forms, reapply for unemployment, talk to this Amway guy about setting up a meeting -- so I figure I might as well not put it off till tomorrow. So I go home, do all of those things -- and bust up more ice on the pathway with the pick.
She needs to take her insulin before breakfast and dinner. I come back just before dinner to help her with her shot. She stumbles and bumbles through it again, and once we're done (it took about 10-5 minutes) we come to see that my parents are already eating the take-home chicken.
After dinner I see Father using this mini-rooter thing in the laundry room. The sewer there plugs frequently and backs up to the floor. I peered over his shoulder as he was feeding rope down through the plugged-up hole of water. Seeing the rooter thingy spin and spin and spin was mesmerizing, to be honest.
Grandmother frequently complains about the backup, and I believe (I'm not sure, I can't tell what she's saying) that she believes that the washer and dryer can't handle the big loads of laundry she wants to clean, so she's reduced to doing smaller loads. But when My Father came home he bitched about her using the washer-and-dryer every day.
When he finally managed to unclog the sewer and pull out the snake, snagged on its end was a piece of lint, the kind that often drains from the washer. He had me turn on the sink to see if it drained perfectly now; it didn't. So on went the mini-rooter, and out came another piece of lint. It occurred to me that, if it is possible to prevent that lint to drain into the sewer, this was Grandmother's fault.
Father was being particularly nice, even gentle, to me tonight. I actually felt kind of sorry for him as he limped around for dinner. He didn't bark at me to get at kitchen knife like he could've. And he told me I could go exercise after I helped him with testing the sewer. His behavior tonight made me feel bad for him -- and feel anger towards my Grandmother.
We ran out of diabetes test strips this morning after I tested her. I forgot to check if we had more, and once I saw before dinner that we didn't, I told her I couldn't test her. But later on in the evening, just before going to work out, she told me to go to Target and get some. I should never have checked up on her before leaving. Instead, I felt compelled to go to Target before the gym. Turns out I couldn't get strips; a prescription was needed for insurance to cover it. I'll have to come back tomorrow. Once again, my plans ruined because of my needy Grandmother.
Telling her about this tonight was the kicker. I couldn't communicate this to her in Chinese, and yet from what she was saying I don't think she understood:
I can't check your sugar level tonight. I don't have the strips.
Why?
Insurance won't pay without a prescription. They already asked the doctor.
So you can't test me?
No. I don't have the strips.
You do?
No. I don't. I'll have to get them tomorrow.
Oh. Why can't I have them?
Because the doctor needs to OK it.
So what do I have to do?
Nothing, I'll go tomorrow and get them.
OK. Maybe my nurse needs to talk to them.
No. Not necessary.
Why?
Because they need to talk to the doctor!
Oh, the doctor. You and me, we'll go to Target, and I'll then get them.
Why was I born into a family that doesn't speak English?
On and on this bullshit went for five excruciatingly long minutes. I don't know if her inability and/or refusal to acknowledge that I don't have the test strips is the result of dementia. I kept losing it and raising my voice, so much so that she told me to stop yelling and come inside and shut the door, but I refused because I wanted her to goddamn acknowledge that I don't have her fucking test strips. Finally I walked away, not knowing if she understood at all or if I even "won" the damn argument, which was my only goal by the time I got done talking to her.
I'm still so fed up by that conversation, and Grandmother this whole fuckin' day, that I'm giving up on her -- not just with the insulin injections, but her. I want to stay out for New Year's Day, and I no longer give a shit that I won't be there to help her with her insulin. I might set up the stuff for her, but then she's on her own, and if she doesn't get it, fuck her, she doesn't get it.
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