#-1: Vikings (Last Week: -3). These guys were 14 1/2-point underdogs. A Super Bowl contender coming into the season was on the short side of the largest spread of the week. And somehow, someway, behind the green arm and legs of Joe Webb, the Vikings came into Philadelphia's Lincoln Financial Field (two days later than scheduled) and took control of enough of the game to defeat the Eagles by ten. They took advantage of a team playing in slow-motion and in a state of disbelief, as if they can't believe they're playing a game on Tuesday night, and therefore it must not count as a real game. Still, I had such low expectations for a team I thought quit that this victory over a playoff-bound, division-winning team counts as a stunner. I wish we had more of these from this club.
Season ends Sunday afternoon at Detroit. Even with this win, I still could totally see these guys lose to a rapidly improving Lions organization. And by the way: What's the use to trot out Brett Favre for one more start? He is still concussed, his shoulder probably still hurts, the streak is over, and he'll be playing to a road crowd. Besides, what's he going to do -- hand off to Adrian Peterson a few times, then wave to the fans at the end of the first (three-and-out) drive?
#-2: Timberwolves (Last Week: -4). They won more games this screening week than they lost? Really?? Guess so -- wins over Cleveland and New Orleans before losing Wednesday night at home to Denver. Like I said before, there was a chance I had to make a choice in games I was treated my brother-in-law to, the Wednesday loss to Denver or last Wednesday's loss to Utah. In the game we saw last week, the Woofie Dogs fell behind for good with 33.5 seconds left to go. In the Nuggets game, they fell behind for good with about nine minutes left in the fourth quarter. Is it better to see your team lose in the final minute or some time in the last quarter? Guess I could go either way.
But let's talk about the two wins. They were trailing on the road in Cleveland, a team still reeling from the loss of LeBron James and with no hope for this season. But Michael Beasley, the closest thing this club has to a go-to guy, drives for the game-winning layup with seconds to go to pull out the win and the sweep of the Cavs. Even more inexplicable is the 113-98, start-to-finish shellacking of the Bastard Charlotte Hornets and Arguably The Best Point Guard In The NBA, Chris Paul. It is very unsafe to conclude from these two wins that the Wolves have enough talent to eke out road wins over bad teams and outrace demoralized ones.
This week: A New Year's Night game against the Bastard New York Nets, then at Boston two days later, then home against Charlotte two days later. I should be at that Bobcats game with complimentary tickets!
#-3: Wild (Last Week: 0). A 1-2 week, and the losses were pretty awful. On Sunday they fell behind Detroit 4-0, and after the end of the first and second periods, the team was booed off the X ice. Their response to the home crowd was one goal. The next night they took a 2-1 lead at Columbus before giving up two goals 41 seconds apart (by the way, love the BJ's third jerseys). Cal Clusterfuck tied it, but the Wild lost in a shootout.
They were much better Wednesday night at home when they won after trailing at the start of the third period for the first time all year. They pissed away a four-minute power play to start the 3rd, but they scored three goals 5:21 apart to beat San Jose 5-3. Did you know that one of the goal-scorers in that spasm, Brent Burns, is second among all defensemen in goals scored? He might be a keeper.
This week: A New Year's Eve matinee tomorrow vs. Nashville, Sunday at home against the Bastard Winnipeg Jets, then at the Bastard Colorado Rockies (and charter Wild Head Coach Jacques Lemaire) Tuesday and at Boston Thursday.
#-4: Gopher men's basketball (Last Week: -2). One game: They start the Big Ten season with a dispiriting 68-60 loss at Wisconsin, a team that's regularly been ranked and has been better than Minnesota but was ranked behind the Gophs coming into this game. They choked away a late lead because of bad perimeter defense, turnovers and the Badgers' blocked shots. They say that this is the best team Tubby Smith has assembled on campus, and yet they seem to lose their nerve late in big games against game opponents. It's not going to get any easier in their next game: A New Year's Eve afternoon tilt tomorrow at Michigan St. They have their home opener Tuesday against Indiana.
#-5: Gopher women's basketball (Last Week: -1). One game: They start the Big Ten season with a soulless 64-50 loss at Illinois. They did not make a single three-pointer. This team they lost to is no Stanford, or even UConn: The Fighting Illini came in with an overall record of 6-8. How in the fuck does a BcS school come into conference play under .500? Did they overschedule powerhouse teams, or were they that underachieving in tournaments? No matter -- that 6-8 team beat our Gophs. I've said it before, and I'll say it again: When will Athletic Director Joel Maturi put the heat on Head Coach Pam Borton?
They open the home portion of their Big Ten schedule with their two games this week: Indiana Sunday, Iowa Wednesday.
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