Friday, December 10, 2010

The Weekly Minnesota Sports Survey

POSITIVE NUMBERS FOREVER!!! : Concordia (St. Paul) (Re-Entry!). For winning the Division II women's volleyball title -- for the fourth straight year! The top-ranked Golden Bears beat second-ranked Tampa in four sets, taking away their spirit in the fourth and final set, 25-10.

These streaks are tremendous: After they had their consecutive-matches streak ended earlier this year at 75, Concordia (St. Paul) have won 22 matches in a row. They have won 24 straight postseason matches in a row. The Tampa Spartans had leads late in the first and third sets, but the Golden Bears came back to win them. They closed out the title game on a 10-2 run, meaning they started out the fourth set leading 15-8. They lose only two seniors for next year's squad, and those two, Krista Erikson and Emily Palkert, leave school without losing a single tournament game. Simply awesome. Congratulations!!

#0: Gopher volleyball (Last Week: Positive Numbers). The big school in the state, quite frankly, has a lot to live up to the parochial college in the Capital City. But they are off to a good start, winning their first two tournament games at the Sports Pavilion over the weekend, against North Dakota St. and Creighton, in straight sets. I saw both matches, and while I wasn't too afraid of Creighton because of their scrappy but not-organized-enough play in their five-set victory over Iowa St., the Gophers, at least to me, had this propensity to lose focus at halftime and drop the third set. Stupid me: They didn't in either game.

So the Gophers are a part of the Sweet Sixteen for the eighth time in the last dozen years, and they have their last nine matches. They are now in Seattle to face Cal, the 7-seed to their 10-seed. Win that, and they face either Nebraska, the second seed in the NCAAs, or Washington, unseeded but playing as the host -- and in volleyball, homecourt advantage plays a big role. I saw it in my own eyes last year as the Gophers upset the third-seeded Florida St. Seminoles in the regional final at the Pav.

#-1: Gopher men's basketball (Last Week: -6). Encouraging to see that after their somewhat shameful loss to Virginia, the ballers won both of their games this week. And it's against deserving opponents -- home against Cornell, then at St. Joseph's. The victory over the Big Red was a close one, five points, so I guess grinding it out is going to have to be the way this squad wins games, a couple weeks after winning the Puerto Rico Tip-Off. The 15th-ranked team have two home games this week, Eastern Kentucky and Akron.

#-2: Vikings (Last Week: -3). The first complete ass-kicking of the season, 38-14 over permanently cursed Buffalo, in a season where I expected many of these. I don't know what this says about the team after the firing of Brad Childress because Buffalo is awful (even though I thought they'd cover). We'll see for sure whether they will now play for new coach Leslie Frazier when they host the New York Giants (the middle of a three-game homestand) this Sunday -- assuming that the players can get to the Dome and not get stuck under two feet of snow.

#-3: Gopher women's basketball (Last Week: -2). A 1-1 week. Several years ago, if this team travelled down to Baylor to face a Bears team ranked second or third in the nation, I would really look forward to it. Now, I expect complete prison sex. And I got it: A 103-56 immolation that probably sent this program back further next to the days of Cheryl Littlejohn.

However, they did come back to Williams and beat HBCU, 63-48, in a game described in the Star Tribune in such dour terms that it feels like a loss. Twenty-three turnovers? Glad this was a black college, because a reputable team would use that to beat this team. This week: Home to Cal Poly, then at Alabama A&M -- wow, another HBCU, and I'm afraid they're going to lose to that team.

#-4: Wrestling (Last Week: 0). J Robinson may have his best team in several years, so the third-ranked Gophs' match Sunday against Oklahoma St., ranked second, looked to both a barnburner and a barometer of whether Minnesota could reclaim the mantle as national champion contender.

They couldn't It was close, but apparently 165-pounder and closer Cody Yohn beat Cowboy Dallas Bailey only by a score of 6-4. Yohn needed to beat him by a greater margin to help the Gophers overcome Okie St., but instead they lost, 17-16. (I put this team below the Gopher women's basketball team because they had a very good chance to upset another contender and they had them at home.) he grapplers rebounded with a resounding victory at Nebraska, but so what?

OK, this is weird: They apparently play two round games on the same day, Saturday. Bakersfield and Fullerton are about 90 minutes away from each other, but is this quasi-barnstorming really smart?

#-5: Gopher football (Last Week: -Infinity). I was going to be OK with either Kevin Sumlin, Brady Hoke, or Troy Calhoun. But apparently, none of those mid-major coaches thought going to the U. would be a step up. And that may be the most bracing thing to deal with for both Minnesota Athletic Director Joel Maturi and Gopher fans.

Yeah, we have a brand-new stadium, and we are in the middle of a major metropolitan area. Maturi apparently thought that those were built-in advantages to entice someone to come and try and resuscitate the football program from the dead. But we Minnesotans weren't sold a bill of goods; I think we truly believed that those were built-in advantages, too.

But despite Maturi's bluster that he was going to get someone, he got, instead, Northern Illinois Head Coach Jerry Kill, a guy with no hair (I keep wanting to call him Jheri Curl) and weird teeth who's most known recently for getting upset by Miami (OH) for the Mid-American Conference Championship. I feel bad for Kill; he's starting behind the eight-ball, but it's not his fault. The fanbase don't have anything personal against him, but they despise this choice because it was the selection of Maturi. They didn't believe him when he said he was going to get a "Tubby Smith hire," and it turns out he was right.

(Aside: People wanted Mike Leach. He was a loose cannon who's currently in the middle of suing Texas Tech and ESPN. I can understand if Maturi didn't want that drama spreading around Dinkytown.)

Saying all this, I have to give Kill a chance. He has cooridnators that have stuck by him for about a decade, and that provides stability that this program needs. If he can get the most out of the young men he recruits for the U., that'll be a very good start. Now let's see if he can do that.

#-6: Gopher women's hockey (Last Week: -1). A split decision at Bemidji St.? Are they even ranked?? If they're not, what is this team doing -- emulating the men's hockey team??? Who cares if they came back Saturday in a 6-2 win if they lost 2-0 the afternoon before???? Well, at least Kelly Terry was named WCHA Rookie Of The Week. Perfect timing. They finish their 2010 slate with two at home versus Ohio St. Will people come out to watch with this snowpacolypse coming?

#-7: Wild (Last Week: -5). Just noticed that all three teams the Wild faced this screening week were relocated teams. They beat the Bastard Winnipeg Jets, but lost to the Bastard Atlanta Flames and The Team That Was Stolen From Us. Last night's win at Phoenix broke a five-game losing streak; now, even in the NHL, does this team think that they can even make the playoff sporting a five-game losing streak? This week they finish their road trip at Los Angeles and Anaheim before coming back home to confront Ottawa.

#-8: Timberwolves (Last Week: -7). I wonder if there are more people watching this team after hearing about Kevin Love. I guess I can understand, but they should stay home because they're back to their losing ways. Well, they went 1-3 this week -- my bad. And that win was an absolute crusher: 129-95 over Cleveland? I guess this team might have some talent after all. Or, the Cavaliers are absolutely devastated about losing LeBron James.

And come to think of it, the Woofie Dogs were leading the three games they eventually lost. Head Coach Kurt Rambis continues to lament fourth-quarter collapses and the lack of a go-to guy on the team to help close out games. Can't that Love, or Michael Beasley? And will Jonny Flynn add or subtract from this team??

They have four games this week: Home tonight (Friday) against Detroit, then maybe they escape the snow to play at Chicago tomorrow (Saturday) night, then at Golden State and Phoenix.

#-9: Gopher men's hockey (Last Week: -4). A complete embarrassment. With the hiring of Kill, the men's hockey program replaces the football program as the worst on campus.

I mean, this team, the biggest school in the state, got swept at MSU-Mankato. They arguably are now level with the Mavericks, St. Cloud St., and Bemidji St. in stature. How in the hell does Don Lucia allow that to happen? And if he doesn't know, what will Maturi do about this (and he needs to do something about this)?

I left UMD out of this because, clearly, they are in another stratosphere compared to these Goofs. They're #1 in the country, have lapped the big school, and this week come calling to Mariucci for two. This could be not just a sweep, but an ass-kicking of biblical proportions.

#-Infinity: St. Thomas football (New!): Don't want to pick on a Division III school, even though this serves as a nice bookend for a WMNSS that may never see two small schools featured ever again.

I went to the quarterfinal playoff game between the Tommies and Bethel at O'Shaughnessy Stadium last Saturday afternoon. Standing next to the bleachers on the home side I realized: This is where my brother, a St. Thomas alum, graduated from. It's a beautiful stadium, nestled in the middle of a quaint St. Paul neighborhood. The visitor's side has no bleachers; it's a veranda, two sets of rails where all of us stood, in the wind and cold, abutting the rec center. I like small-division playoff football, not only because of this particular tableau, but because top-flight football could take a cue from how an actual postseason works.

Too bad that the team I was rooting for got upset at home. St. Thomas was undefeated until I saw them play impotently in a 12-7 defeat to fellow metro school Bethel. There were three things that defeated the Tommies, despite the fact that the Golden Bears (?) had no kicker and therefore went for two both times they scored touchdowns: The inability to stop the run (this Running Back for Bethel named Logan Flannery ran for 200 yards); bizarre playcalling on offense (behind in the second half and having incredible trouble moving down the field, the Tommies went pass-pass-run for some godforsaken reason); and stupid, stupid penalties. Bethel avenged the only loss they suffered all year, while the nationally-renowned Tommies were forced to put their tails between their legs and head for shelter while the Golden Bears (?) celebrated on their turf.

You know, I never went to this school, and the more I write about it, the more upset I get.

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