Right now I am in My Favorite Coffeehouse (Late-Night Edition). I didn't intend to blog, but what I intended to do was work on this application form I need to fill out by Monday for this study I want to do. I could also start working on my taxes. But I can do neither because I can't go to the top floor of the shop; no one is there, so they decided to close it. There are tables downstairs, but the lamps are of a romantic dimness. I can barely see the keys in front of me.

What did I do to celebrate my birthday?

• I went to McDonald's to get a Shamrock Shake. They changed the formula from what I remember it to be when I was young. It's not just a regular shake with green food coloring. It seems different. But, it is quite delicious.
• I went to the library to do two things: 1) Synchronize my watch with a timer on the Internet (I don't trust going through my laptop to do that because it's too slow) and 2) Go through a Consumer Reports to find out the best sneakers on the market. I have these new insoles and I need to find sneakers with removable liners.
• Walked around the local mall.
• A half-hour after I returned home, I went back into my car to do my annual tradition: Turn on the radio and jot down all the songs I recognize playing at 2:17 p.m., the time of my birthday. I should blog post about those soon.
• Cleaned the house, specifically the floor beneath the piano, the stairs and the landing. I also go around to cleaning the leaves of the two huge plants we have.
• Checked my facebook for birthday wishes. Buddha bless my friends.
• Passed out watching TV.
• Ate two slices of beef for dinner.
• Went to Burger King after dinner to get the free fries with green ketchup. It's weird eating green ketchup; you keep telling yourself it's ketchup with green food coloring, but a part of you thinks it tastes different.
• Went to not one but two stripclubs: My Favorite Stripclub (Non-Cover Edition) as well as the other non-cover titty bar in town.
• Wound up here to realize that I really can no longer watch any game of the NCAA Men's Basketball Tournament for free. Greedy fuckers.

I'm not one of those guys who barhops. I don't drink all that much. Plus, when you go to a bar on St. Patrick's Day (which is going to be a noisy hell in and of itself) and you order a drink, and people realize today is your birthday, they feel obligated to buy you more drinks. I'll just throw it all up, then have to crash at some stranger's place for the night because I can't drive home. It'd be a fucking nightmare. No drinking for me tonight (at least until I get home). Shit, the only person I even told about today being my birthday is a stripper with whom I'm facebook friends. Got a lapdance from her; probably the most exciting thing I did today.

You know, in retrospect, I wanted this birthday to be a little happier.